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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
Alternative to bottle of wine when eating out
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 3:37 pm
I will often bring 1 or 2 bottles of sparkling cider (non alcoholic) as a gift to our hosts. I find most people seem to really enjoy this because it is kid-friendly.
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thnkuHashem2146




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 4:31 pm
didn't read all the responses so could be someone else already said this but we do sparkling grape juice. We also aren't wine drinkers and so far people seem to like it - some families with kids even told us their kids love it and its a special treat for them.
I've also brought chocolates one time (the squares with the mint filling or raspberry filling) and in Israel I used to bring wafer rolls.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 5:30 pm
amother wrote:
If I know that my host doesn't bake her own challah, I'll bring one that I baked. People love when I bring challah.


Sorry, but I find that insulting, and show offy.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 5:43 pm
I don't like when people bring food that I didn't ask them to bring- candy, wine, drinks are all fine- but if someone brings dessert or challah I feel like I have to serve it and I usually make my own and then I feel resentful that I wasted my time baking something that is not eaten. If a guest offers to bake/cook something I almost always take them up on their offer so it's weird to me when people don't offer and then bring challah or cake or something.
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 5:45 pm
When we're invited for a meal, I immediately ask what I can make. Usually the hostess politely replies that it's not necessary, but when I insist that I'd like to make something to make her life easier she asks me to make whatever she had been planning on "assigning" me in the first place. The usual options are a side dish such as kugel or salad, a baked good, or a fruit platter.

If I don't know the hostess so well and she really doesn't want me to go to any trouble to make something then I usually bring a candy assortment or deliver flowers in advance. We don't bring wine because people have such different tastes that they might not like what we like and then they have to act overly polite about it.

Someone above mentioned that you can never have enough serving dishes but I find that's not entirely true. If you have to tovel a gift or rearrange your cabinet to make room for it then it becomes a chore rather than a gift.

One suggestion that I haven't seen mentioned yet is if your hosts have children then you can bring them a toy or puzzle or game to keep them occupied. If you want to go that route then either deliver it before shabbos so they can open the pieces or open it yourself before shabbos so the kids can play with it right away. No muktzha toys!

One more thing to keep in mind is the time of year. If it's around Purim or before Pesach then don't bring candy because it's the last thing your hosts need. Wine or grape juice would be more appreciated at that time. Before R"H you can give fancy honey or interesting fruits.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 6:10 pm
Rutabaga wrote:
Someone above mentioned that you can never have enough serving dishes but I find that's not entirely true. If you have to tovel a gift or rearrange your cabinet to make room for it then it becomes a chore rather than a gift.


Agreed, and then some.

Most house gifts go directly into the collection for charity. I used to save them up for a garage sale, but it wasn't worth the effort. As a newlywed I gamely used the stuff people gave us, but I prefer to set the able according to my own taste, and avoid clutter in my cabinets.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 6:36 pm
We do a chocolate platter or a bottle of dessert liqueur if we're not giving a bottle of wine. Personally, to the amother who brings challah - I'd love that! I don't generally bake challah, so it's not something I'd give, but I'd appreciate it if I got it.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 7:05 pm
debsey wrote:
We do a chocolate platter or a bottle of dessert liqueur if we're not giving a bottle of wine. Personally, to the amother who brings challah - I'd love that! I don't generally bake challah, so it's not something I'd give, but I'd appreciate it if I got it.

Thanks for the positive feedback, Debsy! I'm a newbie challah baker. (Just started baking 7 months ago.) I find so much enjoyment in baking challah, B"H.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 7:28 pm
to the challah baker-
a fresh challah would be a welcome gift at my house but do tell the host in advance. is it alright if I bring fresh challah?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Mon, Aug 01 2016, 11:16 pm
naomi2 wrote:
to the challah baker-
a fresh challah would be a welcome gift at my house but do tell the host in advance. is it alright if I bring fresh challah?

For sure. I always ask if they'll eat food cooked in my kitchen, which is obviously kosher. Some people have a rule not to eat food prepared from other peoples' homes, but that's OK. I understand.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 02 2016, 1:22 am
amother wrote:

If I know that my host doesn't bake her own challah, I'll bring one that I baked. People love when I bring challah.


amother wrote:
Sorry, but I find that insulting, and show offy.


where I come from that is called sharing Idea
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Tue, Aug 02 2016, 3:59 am
amother wrote:
Sorry, but I find that insulting, and show offy.

I'm sorry you feel this way. You aren't aware of all the facts. A friend once lamented that she didn't have time to bake challah any more, so I gave her one for Shabbos. She was so so happy, couldn't stop thanking me. Always hints that she would like another one. I don't think she was insulted Wink
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 02 2016, 6:01 am
I always volunteer to make or bring something (usually a dessert or side dish).

I rarely bring housewares as gifts because I don't always know what our hosts need/want.

People here frequently eat at each other's homes, so fancy gifts are not the norm. What would we do with them other than re-gift them?
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