Potty trained son keeps going number 2 in underwear after in

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amother

Copper

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 6:59 pm

My 4 year old son was potty trained for about a year. Two weeks ago, he was making on the toilet when from the other room I heard him shrieking on the top of his lungs. I ran into the bathroom to see what happened (from his screams I thought he got badly hurt - B'H that was not the case) and I see him standing on the stool next to the toilet with some number 2 on his leg. I calmly took him and cleaned him up while he was screaming the whole time. I kept asking why he's crying trying to calm him down, he kept saying he's scared that he got number 2 on his leg.

Ever since this incident, he's been making number 2 in his underwear twice a day. After incentives, prizes, small punishments, etc. nothing is working. He keeps telling me he's going to try to make number 2 in the toilet, but every day without fail for the last 2 weeks he's been making in his underwear. I'm at my wits end, I'm scared his school won't allow him to come in September if he's not potty trained anymore. Any advice appreciated.

Thank you.

Beingreal

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:10 pm

Op, I had the same thing with my son when I was toilet training him. Is something bothering him in camp or something going on at home? When my son was pooping in his underwear, it was because the change of schedule from Yom Tov and everything.

amother

Olive

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:10 pm

What country do you live in?

amother

Copper

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:30 pm

I'm in Brooklyn, US.

We actually did have a change, we moved recently but this incident and him starting to make in his underwear started in our old place.

amother

Olive

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:32 pm

amother

Olive

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:37 pm

Not having control over bowels when previously trained is a red flag of abuse. That said, moving can also be a very stressful event for children, so it is not necessarily that. After we found out my son was abused (and he specifically spoke about the perpetrator pooping on him), he had no control and pooped in his pants every day for almost a year. Kids that are abused mentally cut off from sensation in that part of their body because the memories associated with it are too painful. As they heal in therapy they can tolerate the sensation again.

I'm not saying it is for sure abuse, I don't know. But you need to look into that possibility.

amother

Copper

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:43 pm

I honestly think he was petrified of the number 2 on his leg and he's scared to get it on himself again. Every time I change him, once the underwear is off he jumps away from it and looks at the poop from afar. He'll never get close to it and he makes sure I put it in the toilet right away.

I don't know how to help him get over this fear.

Beingreal

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 7:48 pm

Maybe he was scared of the move when you were in the previous place? Maybe speak to a pediatrician to figure this out.

amother

Red

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 8:07 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with you. For him, it was a 'trauma' that it got on his leg.

sky

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 8:28 pm

Could it constipation? Especially if its twice a day.

amother

Copper

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 8:37 pm

I doubt it's constipation since he's going regularly and it's not hard for him to go.

debsey

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 9:41 pm

amother wrote:

I doubt it's constipation since he's going regularly and it's not hard for him to go.

Have him tell you when it's time to "go", put training pants on him, have him sit on the potty and "go" in the training pants. Then have HIM empty the training pants into the potty.

There's a great educational book called "Everyone Poops" where kids can learn about the poop of all different animals.

You can also talk to him about how pooping is just taking out the garbage from your tummy. Just like Mommy takes out the garbage from the kitchen, when we poop, we're taking out the garbage. It smells a little yucky (just like garbage) but it's not scary or dangerous.

Yes, loss of bowel control in a previously trained child can be a sign of trauma, but moving is one of the biggest psychosocial stressors for children. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

mummiedearest

Thu, Aug 04 2016, 9:58 pm

my pediatrician refers to this as "psychological constipation." once a small kid has a scary moment related to pooping, s/he may go through this. he put my kid on miralax for it. the idea is to make sure the child has to let the poop out. give the miralax with breakfast and have a set time for pooping in the afternoon. the child has to sit on the toilet at that time, and it will all come out. no more poopy underpants. it trains them into pooping in the toilet.

all my kids had constipation issues, and they all needed miralax. I did not recognize the problem as constipation for a long time, and yes, they all had multiple dirty accidents in a day. talk to your doctor about it.

sky

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 10:16 am

Constipation can be caused by immature bowels. It can building up in side and just comes without giving the child advance notice. I've had kids with it and it is extremely embarrassing for them and they really had no control.

greenfire

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 11:49 am

your 2 year old should be left to his own devices when going to the bathroom ... you need to bring him and sit with him and calm him & wipe him

less accidents will happen this way & then soon he'll be good to go [in more ways than 1]

good luck !!!

animeme

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 1:08 pm

My son had this. He was going reliably, and once we needed him to go without his potty ring, and he started refusing afterward. He is very sensory. Is your son sensory? This could be an indicator.

sourstix

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 2:02 pm

Please speak with your pediatrician to get a better understanding. Do you notice him holding himself in? Is the stool hard or soft? Ds also had this and he has constipation. And a GI was able to help us. PLEASE don't punish him. It will only make it worse. Whatever you do just don't punish. I have a lot of experience with this. Rewards might help. But if your pediatrician is experienced then he will be able to direct you.

sweetpotato

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 3:03 pm

This isn't something I have personal experience in, but have heard from other parents about it. You should probably talk to the pediatrician to make sure that the accidents aren't because your son is avoiding pooping and becoming constipated. After awhile, the child can become desensitized and no longer be able to tell when they need to make. Additionally, long term constipation can cause a lot of other problems like leakage. I think this is definitely worth a trip to the ped to find out what's going on.

It does sound like he was traumatized by getting poop on his leg and has a strong aversion to poop that may be giving him a fear of the toilet. My otherwise potty-trained daughter got very scared once using a public toilet while we were on vacation (it was too big and the sound of the flush startled her) and she had a series of accidents because she refused to sit on the unfamiliar toilets where we were staying. We just put her in pullups for a few days and spent a lot of time reassuring her on the toilet. We also got a potty seat insert to help her feel more secure on unfamiliar toilets. I'm not sure if there are some supportive measures you could take to help your son feel less afraid of bowel movements. Maybe taking him every other hour for a few days, sitting with him, letting him read a favorite book or even watch a program on your phone or something to help him take his mind off of his fears? Baby wipes to reassure him that you will make sure he's completely clean after? SOmeone with more experience with child phobias/traumas is probably better suited because you also don't want to create a lot of baggage around it. Good luck!

amother

Copper

Fri, Aug 05 2016, 4:17 pm

Thanks, I plan to take him to the pediatrician to see how to fix this.

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