I can't stand cleaning up after them every single second!!

amother

Emerald

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 10:53 am

I have three kids under five, Baruch Hashem! I have cleaning help twice a week for 3-4 hours each, and can't really afford more than that. My house is just always so DIRTY!! I feel like I can clean and clean and clean but it makes me grouchy and my kids don't have my undevided attention, or I can live with my feet being black by the end of the day because of all the things I step on. There are just crumbs everywhere and toys and dirty clothes and diapers and food and more food and more food...and the laundry!! Even after my cleaning lady leave, it takes one hour of them being around for it to be totally disgusting again. Usually, I can look away and choose to be ok with it being dirty, but when we have play dates or guests over I feel so embarrassed, so I spend hours getting it clean while I snap at my kids to sit still and play a word game or read a book!

Part of the problem is I grew up with a full time maid and never cleaned a thing until I was married, and I hate it and I am not so good at it. I get so stressed over the mess...! Any advice?

rachel6543

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 11:13 am

I only have one kid, whose 8 now, and he's still constantly making messes. I can turn my back for 1 minute & suddenly a room has "exploded"!

I Only allow eating in one area. Helps to keep the food mess more contained.

Also, I really work to make my kid responsible for cleaning his own mess and toys. Since age 2-3 he's responsible for picking up his toys. Since age 4-5 he sweeps His food mess under the table and learned how to wipe down the top with soapy water.

Sometimes he good about cleaning and it takes him 5 minutes. Other days it's drama and it takes him an hour or two to clean up a mess.

But I'm consistent in my house. If you make a mess, then you clean it up. If my son doesn't clean up, then the toys left out go in timeout.

Also, do you have too many toys? Seriously, I find it helps to get rid of toys as my son outgrows then or if he hardly plays with them they are given away. Less stuff means less mess. And my son hardly notices when I get rid of stuff. I have a SMALL house, so don't have tons of room for toys.

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 11:32 am

Food in the kitchen, at the table, only. Everyone washes hands and face (using wipes may be easier) after eating. Be consistent, and the kids will get used to it.

Dirty clothes go directly into the laundry hamper, no exceptions. Kids can learn this at an early age.

Dirty diapers go directly into the diaper pail, or Genie, or whatever you use. No exceptions.

Teach the kids to put away their toys when they are done with them. You will do most of it, but it is good training. "Moshe will put away one Lego, now mommy will put away one Lego." Etc etc etc. I agree with keeping the number of toys manageable, and everything needs to have a place.

After bedtime, the grownups in the house can finish up tidying. Young children have a difficult time ordering themselves, but do appreciate an ordered environment.

Keep an upbeat but matter-of-fact attitude. It works for preschool teachers, doesn't it? "Hey kids, it's time to clean up before lunch! It's Rivka's turn to pick up the blocks, and Sarah's turn to put away the crayons. Mommy will help, them we can make sandwiches!"

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 12:39 pm

I have 2 kids ages 3 and 5 and due with my 3rd iyh soon.

I hate to clean. Dh does most cleaning and laundry.
My kids help a lot with toys. I let them take out a couple things and they clean up. Thetc set and clean off supper table and can both help sweep and vaccuum. My house is not spotless but definitely usually presentable. (I am starting a cleaning lady this week. I haven't had one since purim)
They also love spraying aND wiping and I give them a shmattah and let them do walls and windows. Food I try to keep in kitchen so it doesn't trail but they r not great with it.
I also try to make it fun. We listen to music while we clean. Etc

Tzutzie

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 2:43 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

1) become very strict about where food is allowed. at the table only. food won't travel beyond that space much, so it will cut down on cleaning.

2) have the kids clean up with you two or three times a day. make it fun for them.

3) wear socks.

4) do major cleanup when they're in bed. don't clean constantly.

I like this list.

I think that FOOD is the biggest culprit here.

I have a very strict food in the kitchen (or the porch off the kitchen) only house rule. Other than when I'm trying to distract the babies to eat I don't allow toys in the kitchen.
I bought a little kitchen gate at walmart for $10 last year. It's a good deterent. When kids eat they are in the kitchen. My kids could open it easily but its more for the visual than the pysically keeping them inside/outside.
The rest of the house can get messy, sometimes REALLY messy with toys all over (I have waaay too much toys) and unpacked drawers - I have toddlers - but it doesn't really get dirty.
I always say, "mess is inevitable and ok. Kids make messes and a house is supposed to be lived in. But dirt can be contained". If there is no food, the stuff in the rest of the house will hopefully stay clean.

My kids recently started the bottle shenanigans and its driving me batty. The floor and toys keep getting dirty. I have to start with the "water only in a bottle" rule again.

I have cleaning help weekly. 3 hours once a week. 2 out 3 times she shows up.... but if she doesn't show up one week its ok because my house is generally clean except for the kitchen floor. (OT. NEVER do white kitchen floors.)

I dress my kids in my room, their stuff is in my room so I dress them there. I have an extra hamper in my closet. So clothes go there straight - the kids take it there.
Pampers in the trash can (or dumpster outside) right away. They take it there too.
(I don't trust my kids with the clothing in their room. The last time I put it in their room my kid found the bubbles, pulled the rod off the wall with aaallll her hanging stuff and "used up" the bubbles over all her clothes..... amd of course the drawers had to be slightly opened too.... so yeah....)
I tidy up when they nap/aren't in the way. After the morning mess and once after they are in bed. - again if there is no food there isn't much cleaning/washing. Just tidying.(I'm way too tired at night so I clean day time/ before I eat dinner.)

In short
* Food in kichen only - gate as a visual deterent
* accessible hampers
* put dirty diapers and laundry away right away

You say you have a small house. I lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment for 5 years.

Very good idea to keeping the house neat and organized is to have a HOME for every.single thing.in.the.house.

If you bring in a new item it has to have a designated place. If it doesn't have - make one, if there is no room - send it away or send something else away in its stead or buy a portable closet or whatever. If stuf doesn't have a home its very very easy to make the house messy. And if stuff is laying around outside, expecially in the kitchen, they get dirty.

Just remember, parenting is supposed to be a messy job.

MyUsername

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 3:02 pm

We also do only food at the table. Additoinally, we do no toys, books, or other items at the table, so they don't spread the mess backto everywhere else.

Even my 3 year old helps clean up - she clears her place after every meal (and wipes up with a baby wipe), puts her clothes in the hamper right when she takes them off, and does toy clean up every night. And if she makes a mess, I make her clean it up right away (usually just with baby wipes, it's enough for most things).

Furthermore, I sweep around the table after every single meal. It only takes a few minutes (and kids can do it too), and really keeps the areas where we eat cleaner, and prevents crumbs or fallen food from getting tracked or kicked through the house.

Lastly, I differentiate between dirt and mess. Dirty things are things that are sticky or germ-y or gross to the touch. Mess is when a lot of things cover a surface but none are sticky or gross, like a bunch of toys or books etc. Dirty things need to be cleaned up immediately, even if me or a kids just wipes it up with a baby wipe. Messy things can be done once or twice a day and that's it. My toddler cleans up her toys before she naps and before she goes to bed - otherwise, let her toys sit out, because she's just going to throw them all over the floor in 5 minutes anyway. It's not worth spending time cleaning up unless I will have at least an hour or two of it staying neat. My priority is that my house is clean most of the time. It should also be neat sometimes, but realistically it's okay if there are toys out, because that's how kids are and they will all be cleaned up later.