What do you think about sending 2 year olds to school?

mommy3b2c

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 7:41 pm

pesek zman wrote:

I don't think any baby would be harmed for not going to daycare/school but it's a bit preachy to say that 2 year olds belong with their mother. 2 week old, definitely. 2 month old, very likely. 2 year old, whatever works for the individual family. Many, many families choose other options, whether a nanny (not the mother) or daycare/school. My 19 month old is doing fantastically in daycare: much, much better than she would be home with me all day. They offer her so much more than I can offer her.

Every family is different. There is no should

I didn't see there aren't many valid reasons to send your children to daycare. There are, and they can thrive wonderfully there.

My response was to those that say things like, "my child neeeeeeeeds the socialization." No child that age needs to be out for their own needs to be met. If the mom needs the child to be out, that's her choice, and that's perfectly fine.

amother

Gold

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 7:41 pm

Wow thank you so much for all the replies. I work full time so keeping my toddler home with me is unfortunately not an option. Really wish it was. I'm off for the summer and absolutely love being a stay at home mom. I take my son to parks and play dates very often because he loves being outside and would get bored at home all day. Ideally I'd want to send him to a warm and loving playgroup a couple of mornings a week. He is very active and and a very picky eater and so finding the right program for him is quite challenging. Until now we were very lucky and had a babysitter (a relative) watching him at our home but she can no longer do it. I really appreciate all your replies!

amother

Silver

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 8:53 pm

Dunno I'm home all day and have no problem keeping my kids home at this age and I have but by one child she was extremely smart and advanced. I needed to go away for three days and I put her in a playgroup and the second day she came home and said mommy I had so much fun so I kept her there. She thrived and changed overnight. t home she wrecked my house on thirty seconds from boredom and suddenly she was a different child and so happy.

So I would say that you have to know your child. Some children need more intellectual stimulation than others and there is no one rule for all kids.

When it came to day camp I said I would keep a different child home
To save money but this two year old needed to go out.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 9:51 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

I disagree. My child is just about 2.5 and developmentally delayed. He needs the socialization as part of his overall skills development. I have heard this from his speech therapist as well as his OT. I work so he has been at a babysitter until now but there is no structure and no facilitated communication so his language has been slower to develop. He actually does need the socialization.

Bottom line, there's no one size fits all. Yes my child needs the socialization. Your child may not. You still don't get to judge my parenting choices.

flowerpower

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:14 pm

My toddler is home with me all day. We play together, he Plays alone, we go out, we cook together...... But he is so bored! He would love to go 2-3 hours a day to a playgroup that has kids his age and is entertained there. He doesn't nap so nothing to break up the day. Maybe in a few months I'll consider it. I think at this age it's the socialization more than the learning. I wouldn't focus on learning at this point yet.

seeker

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 12:54 am

As a teacher and generally opinionated person my instinct was generally that home is better. But I did send one of my kids to school at 2, and right when she turned 2 at that. I do still have misgivings about it and wish I could have been more hands on at that stage but it worked for us. I had to work and sending her to school allowed me to set my schedule to be home the entire time older DD was home (ie when both kids got home from school) and without paying twice as much for a babysitter. Plus, this particular child really wanted to go to school. First dd was perfectly happy with one-on-one time and learned more from errands and housework than any school would ever teach. Second dd grew up with a sister, loves social life, would cry like crazy when big sis would go to school without her, and was disinterested and bored with housework and errands no matter how exciting the colors of the fruits were or whatever it was that would have turned on her sister. So I'm just glad it all worked out for us because if not for all those factors coming together I would have been even more anxious about what to do. I certainly got enough grief from older relatives who believe that home is always best.

I think a good sign is if the child is happy to leave and happy when they come home (after adjusting, of course.) Not every two year old is ready for school but if one is and mom is unable to provide that experience at home (through enticing activities and peer get-togethers) then drop the guilt.

MrsDash

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:27 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

I thought that way as well with my first, but now I have an almost 2 year old that genuinely needs some daycare time. He is very needy. Has been from birth. Was a colic baby and all that good stuff. I'm seriously not enough for him. He needs other kids to play with, otherwise he isn't stimulated enough and acts like a nutcase.

I'll be sending him to daycare a few hours a day 4 days a week. With my oldest, she didn't leave home until kindergarten! She didn't need to. She was content staying at home with me, at times even entertaining herself, and was definitely not as needy and demanding as my little guy.

It's hard to understand until you're living it. Like with colic. My husband and I legitimately suffer from ptsd from those days. I wouldn't believe that could happen before experiencing it myself.

Every kid is different. I waited SEVEN years for this baby. He is my light, my miracle. When he was just minutes old, while holding him, looking at his beautiful face, I could never imagine sending him out so young. Fastforward almost 2 years later, and I can't imagine not sending him out.

(In case you're curious about maybe im not doing enough to entertain him --- I do everything with him, bring him to parks, toddler play areas, running around playing the same game over and over and over.. Yet he's not satisfied with any of that. He craves an out of the home, daycare experience. He absolutely adores other kids, while not too keen about adults.)

I wish he was the type to be able to stay home with me, especially since I work evenings, but that's just not the reality of life right now.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 3:00 am

Hi, I teach 2 year old as well. They are the cutest age and stage kah. I find that ALOT depends on the child's personality and circumstances at home. Some kids really need it and love school. All the kids adjust and have a nice time in school and since they are only 2 there is lots of flexibility. There are kids though that I feel are sometimes in school and are OK but would rather be with their mommies or need to nap when they are tired...

mommy3b2c

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 8:22 am

amother wrote:

I didn't judge your choices. Please point out where I did.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 8:32 am

MrsDash wrote:

There are always exceptions to the rule and your son sounds like one of them. But really, that's not the norm. I find that every other mom talks about her child is just so brilliant and must have the socialization and the stimulation, and it's just not true. I sent out one of mine at 19 months. He didn't need it. I needed to work.

Btw, I can totally relate to how you feel about your son. My baby also came after close to seven years. I also describe him as the light of my life and I hope that I can keep him home until he's three.

amother

Violet

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 11:32 am

A. Depends if you have another child by then. I couldn't cope with a nb abd a 2 yo.
B. Depends on the kid- one of my kids really needed to stay home with me and was overwhelmed with crowds. My other kid begged to go to playgroup when she was 1.5! I couldn't believe it but I ended up trying it out and sh loved it . I was amazed but realized it was the best for her
C. Depends on the mom. I'm not the social type and I literally do not know how to handle a kid and a nb at the park . Other women can take 5 kids shopping .... You gotta know yourself
D. Depends on the babysitter . I sent to the best most amazing lady, warm and bery educated with tons of experience . I know her personally so I trusted her with kids.

sky

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 11:46 am

I have to send my 2 year old when working (I work from home but can't give enough attention). I choose to send to a small babysitting group at that age instead of a 'school' setting. I'd rather the schedule be theirs - eating, sleeping, play time rather then scheduled. I feel they need more a 'mommy' setting at that age than a 'school'. I don't mind if its only babies.

I've also been very lucky to have excellent babysitters at that point so that very much affected my decision.

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 12:09 pm

I really think there are so many varying factors to take into account: the parents' needs, the child's needs, the types of daycare available, etc...

My own kids did better in a playgroup setting. I remember with my last DD, she was in a small babysitting group, and even though the sitter had a child her age for socialization - they are still good friends at age 8 - DD was getting restless. I enrolled her in a 2 year old playgroup with two experienced Morahs, and she just thrived! She's a very bright child and her mind needed occupation. She enjoyed all the cutting, pasting, songs, etc...and just the stimulation of being with a group of children her age, rather than in a "family" setting of one child her age, some newborns, some 1 year olds, etc....

Other children might find a playgroup overwhelming, and do better with a small babysitting group.

If I wouldn't work, I'm sure I would have sent this child out for a few hours at some point. I have other kids I would have kept home with me if I could....maybe. Who knows? Maybe they would've displayed the same restlessness.

I think Hashem gives us children, entrusting us to make the best decision for the specific child. A mother takes all her family's needs into consideration, and makes a choice. Saying that "as a rule, the right thing is ABC" is not taking lots of individual details into consideration. I don't really believe there is a rule.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 12:10 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

You made a sweeping generalization about every 2 year old child in the world, which is untrue. You are saying that any woman who claims her child needs to be out for his or her needs to be met is wrong and is doing it for herself. I call that judging.

greenfire

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 12:31 pm

stop listening to what other people do & base it on your own kid

my kids loved hands on learning every day stuff from mommy ~ we cooked, change diapers, do laundry, read books, sing, play, nap, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera ...

there is no end to the fun they can have and the security in knowing mommy/home is where they belong + plus they'll go to school soon enough

don't blink or they will be fully grown

amother

Blonde

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:36 pm

It is very dependent on the child. My daughter is extremely intelligent, extroverted and social, and at the time was an only child, and at age 2, she was going crazy at home with me all the time. And I'm fantastic with kids - I worked as a babysitter, ran backyard camps (mostly for 2-3 year olds), and worked as a private nanny since I was 11 years old. But she actually really needed to be with other children (keep in mind, I think the majority of children are not like this). She was so confident and happy even when I left her with a babysitter, that I knew it was worth trying. So I found her a small private 'gan' in someone's house with only 6 other kids and a fantastic warm and experienced ganenet with kids of her own. They had a general framework there. And my daughter loved it - she thrived and thrived and thrived and every day didn't want to come home at the end of the day. So I know that for her, we made the right decision.

As another example, I have a friend who said her daughter was like mine - very verbal and social, and at 2 sent her to preschool. When they walked in on the first day, her daughter turned to her she was going to stay there by herself. But this is unusual too.

My friend also had a daughter who was very advanced developmentally, but not quite as outgoing as my daughter. So she found a part-time preschool program through their shul - 2-3 days a week, for just 3-4 hours a day. She said her daughter did great with that, because she had the best of both worlds - friends to play with for a bit, but tons of mommy time too!

And some children just need to be at home with mommy at age 2 and that's great too if you can be home with them! Many children do better with mommy or a personal babysitter and that's how they thrive best.

So you just have to know your child, but if you think she would do well in a program, look for something that's part time (either in terms of days of the week or hours of the day or both) and see how she does. If it works well, great! If she asks to go more often, consider that too. And if it's a disaster, just stop. So I encourage you to try something out and see how it goes.