How do you know that sheitals are really mutter?

miami85

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 12:34 pm

I believe that shaitels are permitted according to the shulchan aruch. It is b'geder halacha of covering the hair. I think the real issue is tznius. 26" long hair just isn't tzanua--whether real or fake. I'm in my early 30s, growing up it was rather normal to have shoulder-length or just past, and was considered a "sign of maturity" to cut your hair short--it was like a "sign of shidduchim" when a "girl" cut her hair from shoulder length to chin-length. 25 years ago married women wore shoulder-length MAXIMUM shaitels. Now teenagers have mid-back length and don't cut it for shidduchim. They got used to long hair and it carries over to marriage. Personally I don't think it's appropriate to have anything longer than 16", maybe 18" if you are really tall. The last time I went shopping for a shaitel I tried 16"in on and it just felt so HEAVY and I took a 14" and I'm perfectly happy with that length--it's what I'm used to. While shaitels are mutar, the lengths have gotten out of control.

Scrabble123

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 12:50 pm

I know that shaitels are muttar because the concept of a shaitel has existed for a long time. The gemara refers to shaitels as "peah nochris," and while the shaitels of yesteryear are not the same as the shaitels of today, it shows that the concept of covering hair with hair is not new.

The entire idea of a married woman covering her hair was a gezeira started to prevent men from raping an eshes ish. The idea was that if her hair was covered, he'd identify her as married and know not to mess around with an eishis ish. It wasn't started as a tznius issue; however when individuals are machmir to cover something up (as a community) there is a concept of that area being covered becoming erva at which point it becomes a tznius issue.

There is also a concept of not forcing something upon klal yisroel which they cannot imaginably keep. For example, the gemara discussing banning jewelry on Shabbos for a woman may come to remove it (and carry in the street) to show it to her friends. The gemara concludes that "they would not listen anyways" and so it is muttar to wear watches and jewelry on shabbos (although there are people who will not, even with an eruv.). Pas Yisroel is a chumra and Pas Palter is allowed where it is difficult to access Pas Yisroel because it has been extremely difficult for people to come across Pas Yisroel under many circumstances. I know women who would not cover their hair at all if a shaitel was not an option.

Lastly, while there are gedolim who are against shaitels (both today and yesterday), we're not seeing the parents of children with shaitels not being allowed in schools. If it was outright assur, there would not be widespread acceptance of the practice within right wing communities. Yes, the divrei chaim believed that shaitels were assur, but his opinion was not representative of the majority.

Anyways, I'm in a rush, but I could go on and go. It's not to be machmir, but we are not REQUIRED to be machmir. If you appear normal and are keeping to accepted standards in your community you are fine. Of course you can choose to be more machmir and that is wonderful, but you cannot enforce that standard upon others.

rzab

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 1:13 pm

This is something I have thought about/researched a lot.
I stopped wearing sheitals 5 years ago, but I still consider starting again.
There are gedolim who are on both sides of this issue- as already mentioned the most famous being the lubavitcher rebbe who discouraged women from leaving the house in anything but a sheital and rav ovadya yosef who has some very harsh words for those who choose to wear a sheital.

I think the reason this issue is so confusing is because if you learn the sources, it is not clear what the exact purpose of the mitzvah is. If it's simply an issue of your hair being covered, then it might not matter how it is covered. If it is a tznius issue, then certain types of sheitals might be more of a problem then others. If it's a sign that you are married, then maybe sheitals that are so natural that people are guessing if its a sheital or not could be a problem, but sheitals that are obvious might be fine. If you read through the poskim there really is no consensus.
Since I've stopped wearing sheitals, I've summed it up in my head as Im not sure why they're mutar, but Im not sure why they're asur either.

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 1:36 pm

rimon613 wrote:

http://learnmitzvot.com/siteadmin/books/1281035663_wig.pdf
This is a link that shows all of the Gedolei HaDor who are against sheitals.

some of the Gedolim here seem to be more against a specific type of sheitel, rather than saying straight out that a sheitel is Assur.

And some are Sephardic. Sephardim pasken differently than Ashkenazim. I'm not washing laundry this week or going swimming, but I am wearing my wig.

tryinghard

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 1:49 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Furthermore, ALL of the Gedolim quoted (with the possible exception of the Chassidishe Rebes, please excuse my ignorance) are from Eretz Yisroel. As much as they were and are venerated in our communities in the United States, there are many many psakim that we do not follow as we have Gedolim here who say otherwise, sheitel being only one of them. Your link might be relevant for women in Israel, but for Americans, it is not fair to brandish a flyer of statements (sidepoint - these were not piskei halacha, but statement of personal opinion. Very manipulative on the part of those with an agenda who printed this) from Gedolim living in a completely different society, whose other psakim would not apply to the lives of many women living in America or elsewhere.

farm

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 3:05 pm

miami85 wrote:

Please explain why '26" long hair just isn't tzanua--whether real or fake'

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 3:48 pm

rimon613 wrote:

http://learnmitzvot.com/siteadmin/books/1281035663_wig.pdf
This is a link that shows all of the Gedolei HaDor who are against sheitals.

So, not every frum jew holds by those rabbanim. So thats why you have women who do wear wigs and those who dont.
Also, the first rav wrote about wigs that "women wear today". That is not saying wigs in general, just specific types of wigs.

tryinghard

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 9:16 pm

pointyshoes wrote:

Because a woman is no longer a virgin once she's married, she has lost a certain innocence and compensates by taking on extra tsnius: covering her hair.
In old Jerusalem, married women would wear longer skirts too.

Interestingly, the way I was taught this in HS, with that loss of innocence, or more specifically, with the new awareness she has of herself/femininity/s-xuality, she needs it as a reminder to HERSELF that she is off-limits to any other man. According to this shita, as long as SHE knows she is covering, nobody else needs to know, because it is a sign for HER. Therefore, the most natural-looking sheitel in the world is perfectly fine - at least with regards to hair-covering. In terms of being too alluring or attractive, that's a whole 'nother can of worms...

tichellady

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 9:17 pm

pointyshoes wrote:

Doesn't make sense to me but if it does for you, great. No one can tell if someone is a virgin or not by looking at her hair and ervah is nakedness. I also find the idea offensive that a woman loses innocence by not being a virgin. What does that even mean? Is the goal to remain a virgin? Don't see why this should be Different for a woman than a man.
I do cover my hair but the more I think about it, the more upset I get. It makes little sense to me.

tichellady

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 9:19 pm

tryinghard wrote:

Do you not find that offensive? I learned that in high school too.

suremom

Wed, Aug 10 2016, 9:40 pm

tichellady wrote:

if you want direct sources look up the story of amnon v'sumar (dunno how to spell it...) and the reason she covered her hair afterwards.

imasoftov

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 2:44 am

suremom wrote:

if you want direct sources look up the story of amnon v'sumar (dunno how to spell it...) and the reason she covered her hair afterwards.

I looked in Shmuel Bet 13 and I did not find that Tamar covered her hair. In Pasuk 19 she puts ashes on her head, but that doesn't sound like a hair-covering. There's no Rashi on this pasuk.

I have asked this question before http://www.imamother.com/forum.....32831