How do you know that sheitals are really mutter?

pond user

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 3:38 am

I don't know if this explanation would help anyone here, but all the others didn't work for me and I wasn't planning to cover my hair when I got married, but I had a chat with my Rabbi and he explained the following:

We don't cover our hair for reasons of tznius, or else alk single women would be considered not tznius. We cover our hair because kabbalisticaly Hashem encompasses the woman on her wedding day, and after the wedding night dies not leave her but remains on top of her head. Whenever there is something so holy on this world it attracts klippa and therefore to avoid attracting klippa etc we cover our hair to protect the holiness. This is also why some hold by only covering the top of the hair and allow some hair to show at the front and to stick out of a hat.

That's the only explanation I've ever been satisfied with.

Scrabble123

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 7:39 am

Hair becomes erva after someone is married because of what I stated above.... If a whole community is makpid to cover something it becomes erva... After the gezeira for married women to cover their hair the hair of married women became erva because it was covered most of the time (the gezeira does not apply to your home or front or backyard even if someone sees but obviously people have different chumros in the area)...

Chayalle

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 10:20 am

tryinghard wrote:

Interestingly, the way I was taught this in HS, with that loss of innocence, or more specifically, with the new awareness she has of herself/femininity/s-xuality, she needs it as a reminder to HERSELF that she is off-limits to any other man. According to this shita, as long as SHE knows she is covering, nobody else needs to know, because it is a sign for HER. Therefore, the most natural-looking sheitel in the world is perfectly fine - at least with regards to hair-covering. In terms of being too alluring or attractive, that's a whole 'nother can of worms...

I learned this as well. And I remember the teacher bringing in the pasuk about Adam and Chava, that after consuming the eitz hadas they became aware of their nakedness and covered themselves....and that a married woman is more aware of her femininity, etc.....and covers her hair.

happysmile1

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 3:42 pm

Ok- there is much about this subject that is so misunderstood.

I have really studied it for many years, but instead of writing a whole essay on this website I just want to let you all know that there is an amazing new book that completely explains the mitzvah of kisui rosh, why we cover, the benefits and rewards of covering, the history of head coverings etc.. - it's called Adorned with Dignity. It's by Mrs. Chana Toby Friedman, author of many popular books including Purity of Speech and Daughters of Dignity.

It was just released this summer- it has a beautiful purple cover with a crown on it, you may have seen it advertised in different Jewish publications. There's a whole learning program going on with this book right now. Women are learning it in groups around the world. You could order it online or find it in all the Jewish book stores.

It is an absolutely revolutionary fantastic book on connecting to Hashem through emuna and the mitzvah of covering our hair! All your questions will be answered in this book!

I actually know the author and she is just an amazing person!

happysmile1

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 3:59 pm

Sheitels are muttar in the Ashkenazic world but it was a dispute among the Poskim. The chasam Sofer, the Gra and many others actually forbade wigs. Most Ashekenazic Rabbanim today allow wigs but it's based on a heter that was really meant for very wiggy wigs. Rav Elyashiv only allowed a wiggy wig and stated that it's preferable to wear a scarf rather than a wig. His wife only wore scarves with no wig underneath. Some of his daughters do wear wigs but they are extremely unnatural looking. He said that because the wigs were a controversy among the Poskim, the tichel is "Glatt" (best)

Jewish women always wore scarves outside (the hebrew word for wig is peah nachris, nachris means foreign, wigs were actually from the non jews) and about 200 years ago the Czar in Russia declared Jewish women couldn't cover their hair with a kerchief anymore, to prevent Jewish women from walking around bare headed the Rabbis at the time allowed them to wear wigs. Wigs then were very ugly, extremely unnatural looking. When Jews came to America after the Holocaust, it was very difficult to keep many mitzvos, wigs were allowed to make it easier for them to cover their hair. The wigs then also looked very different than the ones today. We really don't know if the Rabbanim then would have allowed the wigs from today which are very undetectable as wigs.

We cover our hair because when a woman get married her hair becomes ervah- it can be a source of attraction to men. She is also an aishes ish and she needs to now elevate her tznius level as a married woman. It is a grave sin for a man to gaze at a married woman. Of course, men should be guarding their eyes, but we are supposed to not be a stumbling block for them either. So the head covering is supposed to create a barrier between a married woman and other men besides her husband. that is why a beautiful natural wig defeats the purpose of the mitzvah. That is why a tichel is the most mehudar way to cover the hair. it lessens the attraction of a woman to other men. Hair is beautifying. There are many sources in the Torah for this but I don't have time to write it.

The Chazon Ish said that the higher the level of the head covering the higher the level of the woman's yiras hashem.

miami85

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 5:59 pm

farm wrote:

Please explain why '26" long hair just isn't tzanua--whether real or fake'

Its just TOO long and naturally eye catching--whether real or fake. Again I thought 16" in is too long--and you're talking another 10 inches!
Having a sheitel that long is also naturally extremely expensive and it might be a way of "flaunting" how much you spent. Thus, its just not appropriate.

I can't say that this is a "proof" but a strong reason to support sheital wearing. I had a teacher in seminary--who was a chashuv person in her own right-- during the whole "indian hair shaitels are avodah zara" crisis and when she found out thought that this was Hashem's way of saying that shaitels are assur and was considering never wearing a shaitel again.

Several years later after the whole crisis subsided, she came to the states and was wearing--a yerushalmi-length, but no different than before, shaitel. I presume she asked the necessary shailos and was told that it was mutar.

treestump

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 6:05 pm

miami85 wrote:

These are personal, subjective opinions. It may be too long for you, but not for someone else. It may be inappropriate for you, but not for someone else.

There are many different standards. There are many different paths. In fact, even what every community views as the reason for hair covering is different, and thus leads to different ways of applying it.

happysmile1

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 6:28 pm

That's why the wigs are really tricky. While there is heter (but if you study Rav Ovadia Yosef's teshuvah on sheitels you will see how rov poskim, both ashkenazic and sephardic, assured the wigs. That's why he said they were forbidden. And he was brilliant so he was able to be lenient with halachic matters, yet he screamed about the wigs. He said that he tried to find a heter, especially as it is so hard for women, but he could not find any heter for a wig. And he did not allow wigs for women in America, I have a personal letter from his son saying that rav Ovadia Yosef did not allow wigs for women in America) the heter was only given for certain types of wigs. The wig has to look like a wig and can't really resemble hair. It's supposed to be short and stiff- like Rebbetzin Kanievsky wore under her tichel.

And who wants to wear a very wiggy wig? That's why there are so many women now opting to wear pretty tichels- it is the most mehudar head covering and there are so many beautiful options now. And wearing a tichel fulfills the opinion of all poskim!

As a matter of fact, Rav Ovadia Yosef wrote in his teshuva, that any woman who wears a tichel will have all the giant poskim escort her to her final court case in shamayim! Pretty amazing! And Rav Elyashiv promised Gan Eden to a woman who came to him once to ask about wearing a tichel!

happysmile1

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 6:29 pm

Here's an amazing letter from Gedolim about the bracha of wearing a tichel:

“We support and bless those women who have returned to the age-old custom of covering their head with a kerchief instead of a wig in order to fulfill the opinion of all poskim… and especially in today’s times when many of the contemporary wigs are not in line with the guidelines of tznius.”
- letter signed by Harav Shmuel Halevi Wosner zt”l; Harav Lipkowitz; Harav R’ Hager, Rebbe of Visnitz; Harav Karelitz; Harav Shmuel Auerbach (in name of his father, Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l), Harav Gestetner, yb”l; Harav Elyashiv zt”l.

“It gladdens our hearts upon hearing that women have taken upon themselves to be scrupulous in the mitzvah of tznius and have returned to the accepted custom of Yisrael to cover their heads with a kerchief, as opposed to a wig, in order to fulfill the opinion of all poskim. How proper and beautiful is this practice, and how much it increases purity and kedushah. Surely, their zechus is very great.
And certainly these women are careful to cover all their hair well in a way that their hair is not visible at all both in public and at home.
We would like to encourage these women of valor and bless them from the depths of our hearts with children, life, and abundant sustenance and all goodness. And as the Yalkut teaches, “The generations will not be redeemed only in the merit of the modest women in the generation.”
Although we do not have the capabilities of enforcing this on all women …surely it is our obligation to give chizuk to these righteous women who are able to return and wear a kerchief as a head-covering, just like the Chasam Sofer wrote in Shulchan Aruch and in his holy will.”
- letter signed by Harav Shmuel Halevi Wosner zt”l, Harav Michal Yehuda Lipkowitz zt”l, and y”l Harav Nissim Karelitz shlit”a on 15 Teves 5756

Maya

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 6:35 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

Is that Harav Nosson Gestetner? And what are those letters after his name?

tryinghard

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 8:30 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

Here's an amazing letter from Gedolim about the bracha of wearing a tichel:

...

Through all you have quoted, you have still not addressed the crucial point that for American women, these were not our Poskim. They were our Gedolim, but not our Poskim - and our Poskim held and continue to hold that we can wear sheitels, and you will not hear of a single major American Posek (maybe maybe some Sefardi Rabbanim?) calling for women to wear tichels instead.

happysmile1

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 8:32 pm

I don't think calling a letter from a recent Gadol who passed away outdated is a proper thing to do. Do we not learn sefarim from the Chofetz Chaim who lived decades ago? Would we call them outdated?
The Gedolim who signed these letters (and some are still alive) were Gedolim who lived in more recent times. They saw what was going on with the wigs. And the wigs that were around when they were alive (just a few years ago) weren't even as nice as todays wigs. So how much more so would they scream about the most recent wigs (lace fronts, highlights etc...)

Maya

Thu, Aug 11 2016, 8:36 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

I didn't mean outdated as not relevant, just not recent or current.
Can you clarify if that is indeed Rav Nosson on the list?