Children fasting | Imamother

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Children fasting

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amother

Slategray

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:24 pm

At what age do you allow a child to fast?
If I feel a child is too young to fast but he insists on fasting and refuses to eat, do I force him to eat? Or do I just let him fast the whole thing?

amother

Azure

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:30 pm

depends on the age of the child and their overall health.
Some kids like to fast, it makes them feel big.
I think I fasted my first full fast at age 10. The novelty wears off quick...
Also I serve the exact same food to the kids as the adults will get later, so there's no incentive to fast to get extra goodies. When I was a kid there were extras "only for fasters" which made kids want to fast at an earlier age than they should...

flowerpower

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:31 pm

They fast when they turn 12/13. If they want to fast before that they can but only a half day. It's not healthy for a little kid to fast a whole day.

Rubber Ducky

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:36 pm

Our kids began to really try to fast 3 fasts before their Bar (or Bas) Mitzvah. At a younger age — like 10 — they could fast until Chatzos if they wanted to.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:43 pm

See this is the problem. I let him fast till chatzos and now he won't eat.
What do I do now?

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:44 pm

My 9 year old wanted to fast until "lunch".
I told him as long as he stayed indoors and felt ok that was fine. He made it until 11 when he wanted to play outside. At that point I told him he HAS to drink, and that segued into him eating as well.
AFAIK there is no chinuch in mourning, so tisha bav there is no need for children to fast. But yom kippur is different, as it is a mitzvah de'oraisa, and some people have the minhag that kids nearing bar mitzvah should fast.

imasinger

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:49 pm

amother wrote:

See this is the problem. I let him fast till chatzos and now he won't eat.
What do I do now?

How old is he?

I say, praise him for all he has done, tell him that as long as he is not dizzy or unwell, he can continue, but there is no shame in breaking his fast either. And that if he feels he wants to eat something, he should drink, too.

You may want to give him some options -- "if you need something to eat, you could choose something small, like a few grapes, and see how you feel."

Ema of 5

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:49 pm

I was taught growing up that children under bar/bas mitzva are not supposed to fast. End of story. If you want to fast you can fast until lunch time, but then you MUST eat. I don't know if there is any truth to this, but I got thei pressing that for children,the mitzva is to EAT. As someone else said, we were always given regular food to eat, except on Yom Kippur.

flowerpower

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 3:50 pm

amother wrote:

See this is the problem. I let him fast till chatzos and now he won't eat.
What do I do now?

Tell him that at this age it's a mitzvah if he eats. He made an effort to fast and thats amazing. But by chatzos the mitzvah is over. He should he proud of himself. Tell him kibbud eim is a bigger mitzvah

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 4:18 pm

In our family from 9 and up they fast until chatzos (unless it is too hard or school doesn't let).
But after chatzos they MUST eat. Obviously I can't force food, one year they refused to eat and we called rav and he said that they must eat meals, but can fast between meals (I.e. eat lunch supper but no snacking inbetween, accept to drink for safety).

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