I feel like crying

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

I feel like crying

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

mommy3b2c

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 11:48 pm

My son went to a water park with his day camp today. He told me he stayed in the wave pool the whole time. When I asked him why, he said he didn't have a partner so he wasn't sure where to go. I asked him why he didn't have a partner and he said he asked a bunch of kids and nobody wanted to be his partner. He choked up for a minute and blinked back tears. My heart is breaking for him. He felt so humiliated and rejected. He is such a sweet child. I don't know why he this happens to him. It's not the first time. He told me the same thing happened on the last trip. Why can't the counselors partner up the kids so no one is humiliated? Thanks for listening to my vent. I guess I'll go cry myself to sleep now.

momofqts

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 11:55 pm

Thats awful! How old is he? Perhaps a call to the counselor can avoid future scenarios

mommy3b2c

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 11:57 pm

He's 9. And I already called the head counselor. It's his last week of day camp. I know they want me to tip the counselors. I can't think of one good reason that I should.

seeker

Tue, Aug 16 2016, 11:59 pm

That's horrible. The camp really needs to get it together. We did a waterpark trip and every few kids had a counselor with them taking them to rides.

mommyfirst

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:00 am

Oh that's heartbreaking ! How old is he? At a certain age counselors assume kids figure it on their own, but that's probly 7/8 at least . Definitely send a note in to have the counselor call you. He needs to know this is an issue !

mommyfirst

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:01 am

Sorry lots of double posting there

mommyfirst

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:04 am

Next time he has a trip coming up in
School or whatever maybe plan out in advance who he should ask to be partners with . U can also try sending along really good Nosh. Everyone wants to be partners with those kids !! 😉

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:04 am

mommyfirst wrote:

Well not every kid is assertive enough. Goodness knows he tried his best. He told me he asked about 15 kids and even went to the head counselor who brushed him off. There really is just no excuse. If he was able to take care of himself, then what would he need a counselor for?

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:07 am

mommyfirst wrote:

Don't worry. I sent him with mounds of nosh. (Which I normally don't let him eat.) I also sent him with $20 spending money.

This particular issue is not really relevant in school because he has a best friend who is his partner by default, and he has 3 or 4 other really good friends, in case that kid is absent.

trixx

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:11 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

He's 9. And I already called the head counselor. It's his last week of day camp. I know they want me to tip the counselors. I can't think of one good reason that I should.

I don't usually believe in taking it straight to the top when usually a conversation with the teacher suffices.. but in this case, speak to the director. Unless it's a school camp that has permanent staff, the head counselor will be out of there by next summer. Head counselors and counselors are so transient but the director needs to know that the staff was improperly trained (assuming they are at all Rolling Eyes

) and that ALL staff needs to be made aware of this. And tell him that you don't want to tip the staff, for this reason. Otherwise not tipping doesn't really serve any purpose or communicate any message.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:18 am

trixx wrote:

Don't worry. They will know good and well why I am not tipping!

And I will tip my other sons counselors.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:34 am

Poor boy

I remember in camp I was the partnerless girl plenty of times. It hurts. Hugs Hug

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:37 am

amother wrote:

Poor boy

I remember in camp I was the partnerless girl plenty of times. It hurts. Hugs Hug

Me too. Im crying for your son too.

EBY

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 1:25 am

This is totally unacceptable! It is absolutely the counselors' responsibility to make sure every kid has a partner on every trip no matter how old they are. If there is an odd number they should make a group of three. You shouldn't tip and you should write a letter to the counselors, head counselor and camp director. Every kid deserves to feel loved and accepted. The camp should be teaching that to all of the children.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 1:49 am

Kids can be petty and mean- there is no reason that he couldn't be tripled up and gone around with 2 other boys or been the lucky kid who got to be the counselors partner. You should speak to the couselors directly to let them know how this sort of thing can really hurt a young boy (though I'm assuming the couselors are pretty young too. U don't want them making the same mistake next summer) I can't even imagine the hurt ur son is feelings. It's very important to talk it out with him and let him know how great he is, because he probably felt like 2 cents Sad

ra_mom

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 2:02 am

I think we all know what this feels like and it's just awful

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 2:22 am

Hugs to your son. I hope he never has to go through that again.
I'll never forget, summer of seventh grade, my friends had suddenly dropped me - I don't know what gossip they had on me. We arrived at the amusement park and I suddenly realized that I had nobody to go with and I couldn't hold back my tears. My counselor noticed me crying and she paired me up with 2 really nice girls.

At the age of 8 I would expect the counselors to be on top of the campers and notice what was happening. The counselor should have been looking out for the campers through out the trip and should have noticed your son in the wave pool the whole time. The problem is that the counselors come to the trips and forget that they have a job to do and run off to have their own fun.

Talya

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 7:34 am

Am I the only one that is horrified that the counselors didn't know where all their campers were at all times? A 9 year old shouldn't be running around a water park alone.

And I'm so sad for your son. That is beyond awful. I'm glad he at least has friends in school. It's so hard to be stuck without any.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 8:21 am

Agreed that in the future, you should check in before the trip to make sure the counselors make sure he's hooked onto people. At this age, kids make their own groups.

Some perspectives, from experience:
A) Nosh helps on the bus and during sleepovers, but not in a park like this.
B) Even being hooked on to a group at the beginning may not help this. DS at this age would tell me he started with a group and then "lost them" along the way. At water parks, he always ended up in the wave pool.
C) Many camps station counselors at places like the wave pool and have them just watch their camp's kids. So they know he's safe, even if they're not ensuring optimal experience. Fyi, some kids stay there on purpose all day, because they don't like the slides, particularly in Mountain Creek.
D) If your child doesn't like the faster more adventurous rides and slides, it will be harder for him to find a group. Ds would lose his group when they went on something that scared him. Ask the counselors/director to make sure a group is put together of kids like this. It may not be his friends, but they'll have preferences in common. IME, this happens a lot in girls camps but often gets neglected in boys camps.
E) You may need to teach him how to hook into a group. Not everyone figures that out on their own. Alternatively, next year you may need to send him where one of his school friends goes, even if it's not your first choice.

I have a couple of kids like this. It's not simple. Most camps are built for the outgoing thrill seekers who love when new, crazy, loud things happen every day and go with the flow.

groovy1224

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:22 am

This story is NOT okay on so many levels!! Is it not the 9 year olds' responsibility to find a buddy for camp trips! They should have been paired up before they got on the bus, and there should be one counselor assigned to a few groups of pairs as they move throughout the park. Usually groups are sorted based on the kids' preferences- ie who likes tamer vs more adventurous rides, etc. And then the fact that he went to counselors and they didn't help him?? What in the world were they thinking?

My son also tends to be the one who has a hard time finding a buddy, and I know how heartbreaking it is. Especially in a situation like this where it was so avoidable- he should never have been in that position in the first place!!

I agree with everyone else- you should go straight to the top with this. Besides being just an awful experience social and emotionally, it is a HUGE potential safety issue, and a liability for them.

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