I feel like crying

asmileaday

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:39 am

My kids went on a few water trips this summer.
Everyone had to have a buddy to look out for each other. This is a WATER park.
A child on the same trip but from a different day camp nearly drowned in the wave pool when they were there.
This is so not ok. Wow.
I feel for you and your son.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:46 am

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. It feels better to know that at least people care.
Some responses to what people wrote:

He does have a friend from school in this day camp. That's why I chose this particular camp. But this kid goes to the camps bungalow colony, so he has his own "chèvra" since he's a little kid.

I would have spoken to the counselor to make sure he has a partner, but at the beginning of the season the counselor told me that he has a small group of friends. They are the quieter kids, but he does have his "group".

I would try to teach him how to break into a group or get a partner, since obviously it's not that easy for him, I'm just not sure how to begin. As far as I can tell, he isn't lacking basic social skills. I'm not sure exactly what it is that he's missing.

He is not a "macher" kid, but he does love rides and he really would have liked to go on them, but he's not outgoing enough to attempt them on his own.

amother

Violet

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 12:06 pm

Please tell him "I love you just the way you are."

With my kids, I tell them the story how I was alone at the amusement park when I was 15/16 ... it was truly horrible but it was a big kapara and I was able to be successful later on in life B"H.

You can't protect your kids all the time or come with them on their trips. Just validate their feeling ("I'm sorry you had to go through that") and then plan for the future.

My son went to an amusement park yesterday and had a terrible time. He was hot and afraid to go on the rides and got left for hours while the counselors went on the rides. (?!?) I'm thinking in the future if there is another amusement park trip maybe I will keep him home.

However I know that my son is smart and attractive and I have told him many times how much I believe in him, no matter how non-athletic etc he may be. During the course of a person's lifetime, the needed skills change a lot and I wonder what happens to the good ball players when it's time to hold down a job, etc. Think long term!

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 1:24 pm

amother wrote:

I absolutely tell him that I love him and that he's perfect. I tell him that he's an amazing person with great middos. He's smart and kind and very talented. I tell him that sports are not the main thing, but we practice a lot and he keeps getting better. He has plans to be an architect when he grows up, and I bet he will be!

Believe it or not, he is pretty confident even though he has these painful experiences sometimes.

octopus

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 1:28 pm

My son who is the same age went around a water park by himself. I was also really upset. Then I asked him if anyone in his group went around together and he said, "no!" So then I felt better. So my question is, was your child excluded while everyone else went around in a group? Or did everyone just do their own thing? While I don't condone the second option, but it makes the scenario VERY different than the first.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 1:44 pm

octopus wrote:

Everyone chose a partner, and nobody wanted to be his, so he was left on his own. I agree, the other way would be different.

thunderstorm

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 5:13 pm

asmileaday wrote:

My son had the same buddy system when he went to the water park. I remember myself being in camp and having to pair up. I always ended up with the girl that nobody wanted to be with. It was in my nature never to leave anyone out. It pains me immensely that the counselors did not make sure that he had a buddy or partner. The counselor should have been his buddy then. OP, I would be very sad too if I were you. But be proactive next time a situation like this may arise and let whomever is taking the kids on the trip know, that your son has a hard time socially getting people on his team and that their assistance is needed.

newmom1987

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 8:07 pm

amother wrote:

Most camps are built for the outgoing thrill seekers who love when new, crazy, loud things happen every day and go with the flow.

Sometimes it feels like the whole world is built for people like that.
No advice, just sorry for your son, OP. A lot of us can relate.

amother

Teal

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 8:38 pm

This is such a crazy story and the camp is so negligent. Blow can they leave a boy alone with no supervision I would give it to the camp. My son went to the water park twice and there was no partner there were groups with one counselor per group. Why is it even okay for two nine year olds to walk around alone?

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 8:54 pm

Poor Poor kid, my son (same age) has also had experiences like this. This is extremely irresponsible of the camp, someone should have been keeping an eye on your son, for safety reasons!!! And totally not acceptable socially. I would definitely speak to the camp director, (politely) tell her how heartbroken your son was, and def mention the tipping part. My kids had some counselors who walked them to the car and said goodbye every day, and others who I never saw their face the whole summer, but they all want tips . . .

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:21 pm

An update:

I ended up speaking to the head counselor for a while. To his credit, I agreed with me that what happened was awful and that he felt the whole situation was out of control yesterday. He said he would never do this trip again and he feels terrible about what happened to my son. He said he is going to do something special for my son to make it up to him. He might make him camper of the summer or something like that.

Tonight, the kids has a concert as night activity and I stayed with them. Towards the end of the concert, the head counselor spotted my son and grabbed his hand. He pulled him to the front and put him on a counselors shoulders and he was dancing with him. My son was beaming from ear to ear. So At least he is trying to make amends.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:28 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

That is so sweet...atleast he was willing to admit and learn from his mistakes. I actually teared up while reading your post.