People claiming to understand hashems ways

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amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Aug 18 2016, 8:33 am

I was at a shloshim recently and one of the nifters grandchildren got up to speak. He said that the reason why his grandfather lived to be 99 years old, and in very good health almost until the very end, was because he never missed a minyan for shachris, mincha or maariv. Even when he was sick near the end of his life he organized minyanim in his house or hospital room. Of course I didn't say anything but I was thinking, how could someone really claim to know how hashem works and runs the world? Are there not people who daven with a minyan shachris mincha and maariv that are suffering? Is there really a direct correlation between how well we serve hashem and what hashem gives us in THIS WORLD? It would be hard to prove there is a connection. There are to many good jews suffering to substantiate that claim.

amother

Orange

Thu, Aug 18 2016, 8:42 am

I agree with you BUT- please cut this poor person some slack. They are grieving the loss of their grandfather. They are trying to make sense of it.

Try to hear the message behind the words:- I miss my grandfather but I am so proud to be the grandson of a person who made a point never to miss minyan and who was blessed to. Live to 99 years old.

chani8

Thu, Aug 18 2016, 11:19 am

I dont see how never missing a minyan could guarantee someone long life since it's not even a d'rabbonon (?).

Also, there is a flip side to that kind of talk. Why do bad things happen to good people? I covered my hair every.single.day and only the bathroom saw my uncovered hair and that was supposed to guarantee good new for my sons, and instead bad things happened to them.

So I totally agree with you, OP, that they way the community has habituated to making those kinds of compliments are problematic.

The way Amother Orange rephrased it was perfect.

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