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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Registered a year ago whats their responsibility?



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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 5:53 pm
So I registered my child for daycare close to a year ago. They had a summer program that I sent to so said child would be comfortable by the time the school year starts. Now I'm not sure the motivation but two weeks before school year starts the teacher is insinuating I should find somewhere else to send. She keeps changing the reason. From what I can tell my child is really happy there. I pay on time and I'm not sure why she wouldn't want me or my child. She said my child is delayed but then changed the story. My child does get services which would continue. She is recommending sending my child to a special ed center which the therapists don't think we need yet.

So heres the problem. I had to register my child chanuka time to get a spot. I paid a registration fee to hold the spot so she doesn't lose out if I choose to go elsewhere. I took the chance so I'm covered. What's her responsibiity to me now? Doesn't the registration fee mean she needs to keep my child? Her returning the registration fee doesn't help me. I paid it for the commitment which I need because it's too late to find somewhere else now.

I want to do what's best for my child but all involved in the services received agree the center is not necessary and this particular daycare which is very structured is the best fit for development.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:01 pm
stand your ground, op. tell the teacher that you have paid in advance, your child is doing well there, the therapists feel this is a good place for her, and you are not changing your plans. if there was a legitimate reason to move her, the teacher would have told you. it sounds like she doesn't have a real reason.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:06 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
stand your ground, op. tell the teacher that you have paid in advance, your child is doing well there, the therapists feel this is a good place for her, and you are not changing your plans. if there was a legitimate reason to move her, the teacher would have told you. it sounds like she doesn't have a real reason.

That's what I'm not understanding. First she told my husband maybe he should consider it just because it's available and free. Then she suggested it somewhat more forcefully to me. Then she told me my kid is lost at circle time. This is really young age to make anything of it anyway but it doesn't make sense my child is lost because the teacher sent home a circle time cd that my kid loves and follows and does ALL the motions. What more is there too it?

So I asked her about it today and she said there is problems with feeding. My child eats on their own. Doesn't eat when not hungry and I'm sometimes worried I'm not feeding enough but eventually eats. The teacher for this age group told me about a month ago there was big improvement in eating and she told me eating today was great, so what's the problem?

It seems clear to me she doesn't want to tell me the real reason. She knew there were delays because my kid gets therapy (for issues that have significantly improved since starting camp which the therapists had recommended). So is it something personal? Is someone else pressuring her for a spot and she'd prefer to help them and use the dalays to her advantage? She told me if I send my kid to special program she is happy to have my kid for the rest of the day. That's pretty convenient because she would get full pay and only have my kid half the day. I don't think she'd do that though so I'm really confused.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:32 pm
Is your child still in the summer program? Can you send a therapist there to observe? Sometimes kids act very differently in group settings. My ds would sit and do nothing at circle tome, often leaving the circle and playing on the side, all year. At home, he knew every word. This teacher may know something you don't.

Also possible: that the playgroup is best for your child, but your child isn't best for the playgroup. Your child may benefit from the structure, and not be so out of it that a special program is necessary, but different enough that the teacher needs to give a lot of extra attention.

I would tell the teacher that you want to get a handle on the situation and whether special ed placement is appropriate/necessary, but that this will take time, and you will keep you child with her in her program until the process concludes. This will tell you if this is about your child's interests or her needs. Then, follow through. Get a new set of evals, with clear recommendations. The teacher will likely be a lot more open to having your child if they are very positive toward your child being appropriate there. OTOH, if they recommend lots of extra interventions in preschool, you might see why it's hard for the teacher.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:43 pm
amother wrote:
She told me if I send my kid to special program she is happy to have my kid for the rest of the day. That's pretty convenient because she would get full pay and only have my kid half the day. I don't think she'd do that though so I'm really confused.


Just seeing this part. This makes me take her very seriously. Check with her if you can do half pay for that half a day. My instinct is she will say yes if you put your child in the special ed program. Experienced preschool teachers often see things very early that others don't. This proposal sounds like a nice arrangement if your child needs a little extra help.

Check out her concerns and your child. Extra interventions now can help so much later, and she is giving you a way to keep your child mainstream at the same time. If your child would benefit from the special ed program, it may even be worth it to pay in full for that half day (if necessary) so you can have both environments for your child (since you wouldn't have to pay for the other one.)
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:53 pm
animeme wrote:
Just seeing this part. This makes me take her very seriously. Check with her if you can do half pay for that half a day. My instinct is she will say yes if you put your child in the special ed program. Experienced preschool teachers often see things very early that others don't. This proposal sounds like a nice arrangement if your child needs a little extra help.

Check out her concerns and your child. Extra interventions now can help so much later, and she is giving you a way to keep your child mainstream at the same time. If your child would benefit from the special ed program, it may even be worth it to pay in full for that half day (if necessary) so you can have both environments for your child (since you wouldn't have to pay for the other one.)

I don't think she'd say I can pay half--she'd still be keeping the whole slot for my child. She goes until 330. My kid would get there are 12 (it's half day program at this age) which is nap time for 2-3 hours so would be a super easy gig. Then I'd have to pay extra for extended hours (which is why I chose this playgroup in the first place).
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 6:55 pm
how old is the child? but this child is so young. having to be split in two different places is hard on a child this age. they need stability. not being put in so many places. some kids this age even need a nap and if they skip it too early they get cranky. you cant get much from a cranky kid. this is just mvho.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 7:16 pm
sourstix wrote:
how old is the child? but this child is so young. having to be split in two different places is hard on a child this age. they need stability. not being put in so many places. some kids this age even need a nap and if they skip it too early they get cranky. you cant get much from a cranky kid. this is just mvho.

My kid is 2. I was so looking forward to this arrangement for their extended hours. Would limit my kid to two babysitters a day instead of sometimes 4. The teacher told me she gives the kids naps buy my kid comes home so exhausted I'm not sure I believe it. And my biggest concern with this special ed program is that my 2 year old would need to go on the bus. There are car seats but still. And kids are left behind by parents too frequently I'm scared no one would notice if my child was missing.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 8:17 pm
Does your child see a therapist?

If so, perhaps you could get the therapist to intervene or at least find out what is going on because it's not right to be given the run around especially since the weifare of a child is at stake.

At any rate, given that school starts in two weeks, I would tell the teacher you are not prepared to make changes that quickly and that you insist your child attend so that things can be studied with more attention. You Are not prepared to act so quickly on insufficient and contradictory information.

How could anyone be expected to find a new school in two weeks let alone a new school where the teacher is claiming the child needs unspecified special help.

When you pre registered, what did your contract say about the ability of the school to drop a child. Heck, I am involved in hiring gardeners for my condo and those contracts require more than 14 days to terminate. A school situation should not be allowed to breach or terminate the agreement and leave a child in the lurch at the last minute.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 8:57 pm
If she's willing to take your kid for the afternoon, she can take your kid in the morning for now and you can start looking into things. She may be more open to your child if she sees you are taking her concerns seriously. Plus, if she knows enough to recommend this achool, she knows you can't get into it in two weeks.

I would sit down with her and ask her to lay out all her concerns, all at once. Then together you guys can come up with anything that might help while the kid is in preschool, whether it's something she does or something you do or send from home. And you can take the concerns to the therapists and get someone to come in to observe.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Aug 25 2016, 10:05 pm
I didn't have a contract this is a playgroup in someones home. Not a terribly official thing. But official enough that I paid to register and she's pretty popular and fills up fast.

I spoke to her tonight. She says she can't put her finger on why she thinks child needs the help it's just that my child "does their own thing". I asked what the other two years olds do and she said "they do their own thing". I asked how it's different for my child and she said she can't explain exactly how.

Tomorrow is the last day of her extended camp session. I asked if therapist can come to evaluate and she said it's not a good day because entire camp is together on Fridays and she has to see her in the regular setting. She said she won't leave me high and dry and will keep her there but wanted to tell me as a friend so I can get her the best help available for her. I guess I'll know more in a few weeks after therapists can evaluate her in that setting.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Aug 26 2016, 12:39 am
Please do not ignore what this teacher is telling you. She sees a red flag from his behavior relative to all the other kids and is notifying you. At two years old there is a big grey area You don't always see right away what's for example an immaturity vs a behavioral issue. But she sees something different with your child and maybe she feels like she is not qualified or not well staffed enough to deal with it. I once had a similar situation in the class that I couldn't pinpoint and the parents just brushed it off as him being the youngest in the family... It is three years later and he is still struggling in school...doesn't mean you need to change his school right away. But she is trying to tell you something. Don't ignore it
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 26 2016, 10:11 am
Tell your friend the honest truth: that it is impossible to get into s special ed center that quickly. And that you will look into it, but meantime she should please keep your child there.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 26 2016, 11:09 am
if she can't put her finger on it but your child is just different, I wouldn't go nuts over it. some kids really just have their own minds, and that's ok. tell her that you'll take her feeling into account, and that she should let you know when she has some concrete examples. meanwhile, she is getting the support she needs and can stay where she is. unless the child is noticeably disruptive, I really wouldn't worry about it. she's 2.
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