Want guests.. | Imamother

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 12:11 am

We really would like guests for shabbat buy we cant afford to. Meaning we have a budget for the week and its just about enough. I always wanted to invite people over etc but that means im to go over budget and we cant. Any help?

Rutabaga

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 12:28 am

Start a tradition of potluck meals with friends, family, or neighbors. If everyone contributes food to the meal then it shouldn't cost any one family too much money.

tichellady

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 1:57 am

Adding one or two people shouldn't cost much more especially if you ask them to bring something for the meal. Can you make a simpler meal- like a vegetarian meal or chicken salad and vegetarian cholent?

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 8:33 am

tichellady wrote:

I dont want then to bring anything. Whats the point of me inviting them if they need to cook or make or even buy?

simcha2

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 8:45 am

amother wrote:

I dont want then to bring anything. Whats the point of me inviting them if they need to cook or make or even buy?

We frequently have guests, or go out for Shabbos, people always offer to bring something and I always make something. It I am out making one or two things is still much less work than making a whole meal, and someone bringing one or two things makes things much easier when I am hosting. With very close friends we pot luck. The point of inviting them is to spend time together, the meal is just an excuse.

groovy1224

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 8:58 am

amother wrote:

I dont want then to bring anything. Whats the point of me inviting them if they need to cook or make or even buy?

The 'point' of guests is not to give out free food. Inviting guests is about enjoying the company of friends and family. It's not ruined if they bring a dish with them..it's not like you're asking them to prepare the whole meal..

zaq

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 9:42 am

amother wrote:

I dont want then to bring anything. Whats the point of me inviting them if they need to cook or make or even buy?

Would you believe...socializing? Conversation, discussion, getting to know each other better, creating and strengthening social ties?
I also used to think that having guests for Shabbat meals was about feeding people (which may be true if you're deliberately seeking out needy people to invite). Then my dh had to travel out of town and I was home alone for a month . B"H I'm quite capable of preparing my own meals--I have, after all, been feeding a family for decades--and didn't need anyone to feed me. But people did invite me and what I was most grateful for was the human interaction. The food itself, while appreciated, was pretty much incidental. If not for the society, why bother having people over at all? You could just make food packages and deliver them to the door.

amother

Orange

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 9:53 am

amother wrote:

I dont want then to bring anything.

Some of us were brought up with the principle that you never go to anyone's house empty-handed. You always bring a gift of some sort, be it a bunch of flowers, a set of fancy handkerchiefs, or a cake.

Seas

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 8:46 pm

tichellady wrote:

This. Unless you're living hand to mouth and have budgeted to the cent (in which case you have my fullest sympathies), a couple of guests won't break the bank.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 10:38 pm

tichellady wrote:

I'm not the OP but we eat VERY simply on shabbat due to the fact that we don't have a lot of money. When we have guests I feel like I have to make more/fancier things then what we would normally have.

tichellady

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 11:18 pm

amother wrote:

I understand that you feel that way but you don't have to.

cozyblanket

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 11:21 pm

amother wrote:

I understand this feeling. However, being a OOTer with a very chilled out attitude, I have to say the pressure to be fancy shouldn't stop you from inviting. Yes, I do change my menu a bit for guests. But they really won't mind a simple meal. Like everyone said, they want your friendship.

Replace expensive gefilte fish with egg salad.
A chulent only needs a little more to serve more people.
Water to drink is fine.

For shabbos lunch with guests on a budget, I would make egg salad, chulent, a simple and cheap carb like kugel or quinoa, roasted vegis and lettuce salad. Cake and watermelon for dessert. This shouldn't cost that much more than you already spend. Maybe you can cut one expensive non shabbos food item off your shabbos list and that will pay for a few more vegis etc.

Keep it simple and pleasant and enjoy your guests.

cinnabuns

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 11:25 pm

Actually, if it's just two people, adding a third or fourth can actually break the budget... One pack of salmon , four pieces, is two suppers when it's just me and dh. Same with a pack of chicken, pack of schnitzel.. when my brothers come to town, I need a bit of a heads up so I can go buy more chicken/meat/fish or make a bigger pot of pasta or whatnot. Once it's more people in the family, and you're anyways making a pack of chicken, by then it no longer makes a difference.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 01 2016, 11:40 pm

amother wrote:

Food we buy for shabbos gets reimbursed - it says you should borrow and Hashem will repay

Op here. I know about this but could you find me where it says because people say it "says"

amother

Rose

Fri, Sep 02 2016, 1:35 am

I grew up since I was a kid knowing that shabbos yomtov expenses tuition is not counted in your earnings. I think it says in the Gemara - as soon as I find out which one will let you know

cozyblanket

Fri, Sep 02 2016, 1:41 am

Don't feel pressured to be fancy and make much more. Substitute egg salad for expensive gefilte fish. make chulent, kugel/quinoa, roasted vegis and salad. cake and/or watermelon for dessert. You won't spend too much more if you use a menu like this one. Can you cut a food item out of your weekday shopping to allow for the increase on shabbos?