Why would u consider home births

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 3:43 am

I understand wanting to have a natural birth, I don't understand why someone would risk an at home birth, even if they had a low risk pregnancy. Things can go very wrong very fast at the last minute and the equipment needed to help is not in ur home.
I'm not bashing home births- I really don't understand why someone would do it and would like it explained as I personally have not done much research on it.

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 5:49 am

First of all the midwives come with a ton of equipment and are trained to deal with emergencies.
Second of all it is all in Hashem hand. I had a stillbirth in a hospital and Three successful homebirths.
A homebirth is an amazing experience and I feel I get WAY WAY better prenatal care than I got when I used a hospital midwife. I also like that by the birth they r there f or u and only u. Makes a huge difference to me.

Iymnok

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 6:03 am

With quick labored, I prefer it to risking delivering on the sidewalk.
After birth I can shower then sleep as long as I need in my own bed.
My midwife comes to my house for all the prenatal checkups except ultrasounds and blood tests. She also returns two days after to do the PKU and ch can both of us, and again a week later. I feel so pampered.
It is so relaxed.
I don't have to ride in a car in heavy labor.
I'm not strapped to monitors.
ALL the attention is on me.
I feel respected.
The look of my other kids faces in the morning was priceless!
It feels so normal and natural.

I have no idea what all the other stuff in her two duffel bags is. She also has two oxygen tanks and pitocin shots.

amother

Gold

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 6:24 am

Because I want strength to get through labor and recover from it, and my experience with hospitals is that they do not encourage sleep. Because I had a very fast first labor and I prefer a planned homebirth with an experienced midwife to an unplanned side-of-the-highway birth with who-knows-who delivering me with my next, and the midwife in the hospital last time even agreed I should consider homebirth in the future.

imasinger

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 6:38 am

My research showed that actually, things don't usually go wrong at the last minute with no warning. Someone with proper training will note warning signs and be able to take action quickly.

I had planned my second to be a home birth, but when the heart rate of the baby was dropping during contractions at early labor (and the baby was 2 weeks past his due date), they sent me to the hospital. After further checks there, he was born via c/s.

Afterwards, I was considered high risk, and though I had 2 more, both VBAC, they were born in a hospital.

There are more germs in a hospital than almost anywhere else. (My grown ODD was at severe risk of life and mobility from an infection she got during an epidural; it took her months and emergency surgery to recover, and she can never have an epidural again.)

Hospitals run according to their routine, not an individual's comfort. They wake people at random times for blood pressure checks, unless you know enough to tell them to wait until you are nursing. They limit interactions with other family to visiting hours. Unless you are well informed, they will make all kinds of decisions for you, like when your baby should be with you, what food is available for you to eat, etc. The default is to function according to worst case scenarios, and the convenience of an overworked nursing staff.

There are obviously lots of good reasons why this is the case, but in a low risk situation, it can be both happier and healthier for a baby to be born at home.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 8:30 am

I think all the previous posters covered it... You just can't compare the relaxation and comfort of a homebirth to birth in the hospital. Just being on your own turf, being able to move around as you please, take what you want from the refrigerator or the closet instead of having to think of everything you might need (which the hospital might not let you have anyway).

I had my first child in a big NYC hospital and I was treated so disrespectfully by the hospital staff, and then they acted like I was being a prima donna when I complained. I dont need to go through that while I'm giving birth. I was not even able to take a shower because I had no shower in my room and the nurses were all "too busy" to walk me down the hall. They wanted my husband to walk me, forget about hilchos niddah that he's not allowed to touch me. I tried walking myself and almost fainted, so I had to go back to bed and never did get a shower until I got home (if you think that's gross, yes it absolutely is. Not being able to shower after birth for TWO DAYS???)

I've read anti-homebirth rants that say a mother should sacrifice her own comfort for the sake of the baby. That is so misguided. A mother who is not in the best of health or spirits cannot give the best care to the baby. If having a hospital birth will leave you depressed and depleted, and having a homebirth will leave you bouyant, upbeat and energetic, which is preferable for the baby's sake?

I chose a highly experienced and skilled midwife and trust her to pick up signs that the birth is not going smoothly and initiate a timely transfer. B"H I had 5 healthy homebirths with no need to transfer.

amother

Jade

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 9:33 am

Op says things can go very wrong very fast etc.
Who said?
Why is the burden on the woman who said it is safer to birth at home to provide the stats?
People who birth at home are not "compromising their baby's safety in order to be more comfortable" necessarily. They are making informed decisions about the well being of their child. Home birth is not like deciding not to vaccinate. There are plenty of preventable horror stories on both sides of the aisle and research solidly supports both opinions.

chica

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 9:37 am

imasinger wrote:

My research showed that actually, things don't usually go wrong at the last minute with no warning. Someone with proper training will note warning signs and be able to take action quickly.

Exactly this. There are "pink flags" before red ones. If the labour is going too slow, too fast. If labour is progressing abnormally. Meconium. Etc. The midwives are trained to see these things.

I've had 1 hospital birth and 2 home births. The hospital birth was your standard - they tell you that you need an epidural. Everyone has one. Doesn't affect your labour. Then labour slows/stalls, they tell you that you need pitocin. I refused pitocin, and every hour a nurse would come in and tell me that I needed it. That my contractions weren't consistent and look! Here are the contractions of your neighbour who IS on pitocin - don't you want to be out of here faster, they asked? Then, when pushing took too long the DR said he would cut me which I said no to. BH for a good doula and good nurses who didn't call the DR in until I was crowning. Then baby came out with fetal distress - since with an epidural it took to long to push, and yay for modern medicine that took my baby away from me for the first 4 hours. Had I not had the epidural my labour would not have taken 24+ hours. I would not have taken 3 hours to push and I would not have had someone pressuring me to be on their timeline.

At home you are surrounded by your bacteria, your "germs". I have a friend who's infant contracted a bacteria in the hospital and couldn't understand why. Hospitals are full of sick people. Full of other people's bacteria and germs. Who wore that nursing gown before you?

The midwives are not glorified doulas or women who love birth. They are trained medical professionals. They understand that birth is a NORMAL NATURAL bodily function, not a medical illness that needs to be treated.

I truly believe that home birthing is better for the child as well as for the mother. Where I live home births are only something you can do if you meet all the criteria for a safe home birth. In the case that you do they are just as safe, if not safer, than hospital births

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 10:47 am

amother wrote:

I wouldn't consider it. The distractions of my kids and my fear of something going wrong.
That said I have Bh had straightforward births and go to great hospitals with good policies where natural birthing is encouraged (at least if that's what you're interested in, and you've chosen the right doctors).
I think it also depends on what you're comparing home birthing to.

My kids were not home during my last birth. They were on day camp and went to my parents before that cuz they wanted to.
My last one. Ds slept Thru the whole thing. But there is no pressure with the kids either. I took it as when the time comes I will figure it out buto had back up ideas in case.

imasinger

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 10:55 am

amother wrote:

That's great; you made an informed choice that is right for you.

OP asked for information about why people might choose otherwise. She was curious about the reasoning.

Hopefully, now asked and answered.

Jeanette

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 10:55 am

amother wrote:

Everyone should be free to choose the birth setting they are most comfortable in. Nobody is attacking those who choose hospital births. But for some reason people feel compelled to condemn home births despite having no knowledge of the pros and cons of each option.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 11:04 am

flowerpower wrote:

Who cleans the mess on your bed? All the blood and what not?

Dh told me that just yesterday two men in shul told him that their wives had homebirths recently. They loved it and would definitely do it again. I can't see myself doing it anytime soon though.

From what I've heard from others there's a lot of planning that goes into this and part of that is proper disposable linings of the bed. Then after birth the midwife rolls everything up and disposes it and then helps dh do the laundry and put everything back in place. Postpartum is relaxing with the new mom quickly tucked in to a fresh bed.

amother

Sienna

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 11:11 am

flowerpower wrote:

One of the big plusses of home birth is that you're not confined to lying flat on your back or on the bed at all. Most people are moving around a lot and give birth in a crouched position, not on the bed.

In my experience the midwives tell you what to buy in advance (like chux) and they clean everything up before they leave. They also stay a while post birth to make sure mother and baby are ok.