How should I have responded to this comment?

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 3:37 pm

I told my friend we are looking to move house and mentioned that we noticed there was one for sale in their block.

My friend responded "Ummm...yeah but...houses in our block are like... really expensive. Maybe you could see if there are any houses for sale in [a different block]" as if she believes we are unable to afford it.

How should I have responded? I though that comment was quite rude. She does not know how much we have to spend on the new house.

greenfire

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 3:45 pm

who knows what she was thinking IF she was thinking ... not really any of her business how much you can pay ... so just do what ya gotta do & fuhgeddaboudit

now if you weren't friends she might have meant "don't move next to me"

Amarante

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 3:48 pm

Extremely rude and this is a friend. 😱😱

I never know how to respond until hours later lying in bed when I come up with a good response.

As the saying goes, living well is the best revenge. When you have bought the house she thinks you can't afford, invite her for a beautiful Shabbos. I remember my mother doing this to a woman who was constantly making subtle put downs of my mother because she thought she was poor. My mother didn't spend money on fancy jewelry or overtly designer clothing etc so I imagine the woman was shocked when she saw the stuff my mother thought was important to spend money on. 😀😀😀. The poor woman never recovered after she could no longer feel superior.

amother

Peach

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 3:52 pm

Better for people to think that you have less money than more. It means you're living within or beneath your means.

Ignore her comment, buy the right house for your family, and enjoy.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 4:01 pm

ROFL wrote:

Wow rude of her ! But no need for a comment just look at the house and if you like it buy it !

LOL yes, obviously we will look at it anyway but I was kind of shocked when she said that and didn't know how to respond.

It seems that she thinks we are either poor and/ or stupid enough to think we can buy that house.

Sun, Sep 04 2016, 4:09 pm

If you don't mind addressing personal finances in conversation: "Actually, we are looking in that price range."

If you prefer to be more circumspect: "We are looking at houses at a variety of price points. We may choose to look at the neighborhood you mentioned, and perhaps [mention more-expensive neighborhood] as well."

chani8

Mon, Sep 05 2016, 2:28 pm

What I got from her comment was, the houses on our block are seriously over-priced. Perhaps check with your friend to see what she meant. OTOH, she may not want to admit outright to over-paying... but she may want to spare you the huge mortgage stress, so her comment was code for, don't make the same mistake we did by buying here. Her comment may mean even worse, that she's struggling financially due to her high mortgage and wouldn't wish her troubles on you, her friend. So, dont right away think she was insulting you. Remember she is your friend. Do friends really mean to hurt friends?

OOTforlife

Mon, Sep 05 2016, 2:38 pm

Are the homes on the block you're looking at a lot more expensive than your current home? If so, I can understand what she was thinking, although she shouldn't have actually said it.

I don't think you need to respond any special way. If she's a nice person and this was an outlier faux pas, no need to rub it in. If she's not a nice person, just drift away from the friendship.

Seas

Mon, Sep 05 2016, 3:12 pm

I don't think she was being rude at all. Unless there's a huge difference in quality of life on the other block, what she was most likely saying was, "Don't pay over the odds for something you can get for much cheaper."

This is what a friend does.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 2:46 pm

chani8 wrote:

I agree with this.

maybe she meant u can get same type of house for a better price on nearby streets.

I actually think I hear this comment all the time when ppl are discussing real estate in diff neighborhoods..

if ur starting to look, how should u know its an expensive block if ppl dont tell u?

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 10:13 am

Thanks for all the replies. I wasn't asking what she meant by the comment as it was clear from the way she said it that she doesn't think we can afford the house, I was just asking what would have been a good reply as her comment caught me by surprise a bit.

It is not the first time that this friend has made an inappropriate comment so I was wishing I had a good come back this time.