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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
DD 8yo asked how the babies come out
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myym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 4:32 pm
It was interesting to read everyone's replies. I am totally open with my kids in general, and yet when they ask that I say, Hashem takes it out of the tummy. And that's it. My 11 yr old dd already figured it out by now, between friends and science class. But my 9 yr old son doesn't know more than that, and why should he? and again we are open minded and exposed type of ppl..
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 4:33 pm
amother wrote:
I really don't understand the need to explain how it gets in.
What's wrong with "Hashem makes a baby start growing inside the mother when He sees fit."
Why is that so different than Hashem making a seed grow or making the rain come down??


was just asking what people answer there children. I come from a very sheltered home and never asked my parents these questions ( ye they were very private to) wtvr I wanted to know I figured out some other way.....
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 4:48 pm
I told my 5 year old, "usually Hashem makes a nais that a mommy's body gets a hole that the baby can come through and then afterwards it closes back up. Sometimes the dr has to help a mommy out and cut a little hole."
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 4:57 pm
At seven years old my DD asked how the baby comes outs aging, "but don't scare me". I don't remember what I told her, but likely in line with the suggestions here. I strongly believe in answering the question asked and no more. They will follow up if they have more questions and feel safe. Too much information can be overwhelming and they might not want more now.
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RachaelLeah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 10:34 pm
DrMom wrote:
Just to clarify:

They were trying to be intimate via her bellybutton???

(Or did you mean that they thought the baby -- once conceived -- emerges from the bellybutton?)


DrMom, it was said in passing in discussion of the larger topic of proper education for married couples but, yes, I believe she was saying they were trying to be intimate through the bellybutton. I thought it was complete nonsense at the time, but now, after reading at least two mothers who hint to their children that the baby comes through the bellybutton, I can see why a kid with such mis-education, whose Chasan/Kallah teacher says "in the hole," could have no other idea where that hole is.

Really, is it so terrible to teach a girl about her own body?! Women who tell their kids make believe stories about birth are depriving their daughters of a) A mature and respectful outlook on the specialness of her own body and the Chochmas HaBoreh, passed down from mother to daughter. Because if she doesn't get the full picture from you, she's going to get it from her friends. And do you really want her first hearing it from her friends? That should be her first impression of what it's really like? An educated girl will know when her friends are saying nonsense. An uneducated girl won't know what to believe. And, b) Trust that her mother tells her the truth, respects her enough to tell her the truth and educate her about her own body, and will be open to further communication when the more advanced questions come. We want our daughters to turn to us when they have more mature questions, not to friends.


Last edited by RachaelLeah on Thu, Sep 15 2016, 10:49 pm; edited 2 times in total
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RachaelLeah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 10:47 pm
amother wrote:
Excuse my ignorance - I have nine kids and a happy marriage.

Why did I understand more like there are two holes - front and back and the baby comes out the front one - why do you say three? (I think in the front one, there's a small tube for urinating - I'm wrong??)


Amother Aqua, there are three holes. Anatomy lesson: Starting from the front of the body, going down... First comes the urethra, which brings urine from the bladder. It is its own, tiny hole. Next hole is the va*ina, which leads to the cervix and uterus. Last hole is the rectum/backside, which brings #2 out of the body.

Here's some illustrations of female anatomy, so, WARNING - they are (obviously) graphic.

http://www.waybuilder.net/swee.....5.jpg
https://www.fresh4manchester.n.....0.jpg
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wife2




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 12:46 am
Please do not be vague. I clearly remember asking my mom this in 4th grade. she kept saying it comes out of a hole between the legs since I kept pushing her. I kept looking at the side of my thigh imagining a hole opening up. I didnt get where it was exactly and thought it was so unclear and weird. I didn't understand and she wouldn't clarify. kids will be confused unless they get it. if she had explained it, I would have taken it better
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 11:26 am
myym wrote:
It was interesting to read everyone's replies. I am totally open with my kids in general, and yet when they ask that I say, Hashem takes it out of the tummy. And that's it. My 11 yr old dd already figured it out by now, between friends and science class. But my 9 yr old son doesn't know more than that, and why should he? and again we are open minded and exposed type of ppl..



if your open with your children, why do u want them to "figure it out" when they can get the correct information and a proper outlook from you from an adult with a correct and (hopefully) healthy point of view?

- someone who "figured it out"
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