Do you pay your daughter to babysit?

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 9:13 pm

My daughter is getting closer to being able to babysit for us... She is almost 12.

Even now I will sometimes leave her in charge for 20-30 minutes while I go somewhere in the neighborhood. I don't pay her for these kind of things.

But when she can do longer, traditional babysitting, I am thinking of paying her. Money is tight for us... maybe 1-2 dollars per hour? when you are in your own house, you def don't need to get paid as much as a reg babysitting job...

Do you pay your daughter to babysit? How much???

Thank you!!

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 4:59 am

I think my parents were counting down the days until I turned 12 to become their full time-all the time babysitter. I never got paid and actually never expected to get paid. My parents just made it clear this was how I contributed to the household. I didn't resent not getting paid but I did resent having to be a third parent. One time my grandmother bought me a Marshall's gift card to show appreciation for my helping out at home. That was sweet and I appreciated it. if you can afford to pay your daughter that's lovely but if you can't there are other ways to show your appreciation as well. Small gifts, thoughtful gestures and small kindnesses and just simply not using her as a third parent can go a long way. And always ask and check up on her if it's becoming to much for her.

amother

Linen

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 5:10 am

I don't think I'd pay all the time. I wouldn't want her to come to expect it every time you leave the house. There's nothing wrong with her contributing to the household this way. Just don't overdo it, and make sure to to appreciate it every time.

If though, you want a bunch of hours, or its on a Sunday where she'd likely be out with friends otherwise, or you have no choice and ask her to babysit more then what can be considered a normal chore/contribution to the household, then I'd pay her.

rachel6543

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 5:40 am

So, my mom would occasionally pay me to babysit. I had younger wild brothers who were quite annoying as kids (think that the type that always fight, break your stuff...etc). On a few occasions my mom forced me to babysit when I really didn't want to and when that happened I would get paid. It wasn't on a regular basis I babysat, but when my parents had a special event to go to.

tweety1

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 5:41 am

Absolutely not. But iy"h for y"t Im getting my daughter a gift to show appreciation. She doesnt expect to get paid; she doesnt even have that idea in her head yet so why introduce her to unnecessary new ideas? But I dont want her to resent her having to help so much at home so I decided on the gift to keep her motivated.

harriet

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 5:50 am

I definitely don't pay per hour (it's her contribution to the household, when I was her age I had no younger siblings but I helped out with laundry or straightening up, which she doesn't do...) but I do occasionally buy presents etc to show my appreciation.

My daughter also sometimes has to turn down other jobs to babysit her siblings in which case I DO pay her, the going rate (which is $10/hour, she's 15) even though she always protests that she doesn't need/want me to.

I ask her before and if she seems a little reluctant (she wouldn't say outright because she's a great kid who wants to help) then I don't let her do it ( babysit). She also has times she just can't (tests etc) and I obviously don't push her to at all then...

We occasionally have discussions about it (do you feel it's too much, your siblings are not your responsibility...)

She is definitely not the third parent (but is an awesome older sister...)

Last edited by harriet on Fri, Sep 16 2016, 7:24 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:21 am

I'm not into paying children to do anything. I personally don't go for that dynamic. Like others suggested, I'd much prefer showing appreciation in other ways. And not overdo what you ask. I would even prefer to buy something nice that would possibly be equivalent to what you would have paid, just dislike the idea of paying your children.

Ema of 5

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:30 am

I pay my child (younger than yours) 50 cents per kid that stays home if I have to go out for up to 10 minutes. It makes the child feel good, proud, and mature, plus the child gets to earn a little extra money. I don't do it very often, not because I don't trust the child, but because I really just don't have anywhere that I need to go.
When my children get older, I will probably occasionally pay them to baby sit. However, I will not expect that they always be available for me. Their job at that age will be to be kids/teens- homework, studying, socializing, and baby sitting (for me or for others) when they want to.

amother

Plum

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:54 am

My kids are still little so I can only speak from the child side, but my mom only paid me if I was giving up another paid gig in order to babysit at home, otherwise it was just a chore like any other. She was fair though. She always got them either sleeping or completely ready for sleeping before leaving, so I didn't have to do too much.

Blessing1

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 7:52 am

Why would you pay your daughter to babysit? After all we do for them they should do for us.
Does your daughter pay you for her food, clothing, clean laundry.....??????

mha3484

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 7:57 am

My father's reply was always room and board. But we had a small family my sister could mostly watch herself and my brother was easy going. The year that she was bas mitzvah they went to a lot of bar and bas mitzvahs with her so my father would bring me dessert from the sweet table. Sometimes they would leave money to order a pizza etc.

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 7:57 am

I've never paid my teens to babysit, though truth is they have only one little sister that ever needs babysitting....and most of the time I go out with all of them anyway.

When my mother A"h was really ill, I used to go visit her once a week - an almost 2 hour drive each way. My teens used to switch off coming with me. And I used to leave after my youngest had eaten supper, done h.w., and was in pj's...and DH would come home to help put her to bed, and once he left to learn, young DD would be sleeping and teen could be doing whatever she did every night anyway.....

I don't know what I would do if I had more kids needing alot of babysitting. I've never paid my girls for helping around the house, but whatever they do to help out, I express appreciation, and I try to balance their helping me with me helping them (like shopping for new clothes after cooking for Yom tov, or going out for icecream, etc....)

ectomorph

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 8:00 am

amother wrote:

agree. I would only pay for a major one time job I would otherwise be paying someone else to do, like wallpapering the bathroom.

Simple1

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 8:38 am

I never paid. But I only ask them to babysit if they are around and available anyway. I never let them miss out on things because of babysitting.

Also at $1-2 per hour, you're better off giving a little gift.

nursemomma

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 9:09 am

Why does a child need to get paid for helping out at home??
Obviously, parents should be responsible and not take advantage of older children, but occasional babysitting is expected from normal teenagers. It teaches them responsibility. Paid jobs should be coming from outside babysitting jobs.

As a girl, I babysat plenty at home, and never dreamt of getting paid- and did not resent it. I knew that was my way of contributing to the household...

Miri7

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 9:22 am

We expect all of our kids to help out a lot around the house. They are not paid for this. This includes watching the toddler when I am busy making Shabbat or something like that.

When we ask our eldest DD to go way above and beyond what is expected, we do compensate her. Usually not with cash, but she can work X number of hours and get the pair of earrings she really wants that I wouldn't get her otherwise. Same for our eldest DS - he gets to work toward a "prize" by doing chores or babysitting above and beyond what's expected. I think the prizes value works out to about $2-3 an hour.

Our kids are not yet old enough to really babysit on their own, so I hire a babysitter if we are leaving the toddler at home.

I think it's good to teach them the value of work and to honor when they do something that's above and beyond our already high expectations.

Raisin

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 9:43 am

not for running out to the grocery store type of thing but when I went out to a wedding leaving my oldest dd to feed the kids supper, put my toddler to bed etc I did give her some money. Not as much as I would have paid someone not related, but something substantial.