"not bad" as a response to "how are you"

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Lechatchila Ariber

Sat, Aug 25 2007, 8:04 pm

I've always wondered about this expression.
what is meant to be implied by its usage?
why focus on the negative, why not rather say "b"h good", rather then focus on what you are not, that is, bad.

is it mean to imply that you expected to be worse? but often its said with an upbeat tone of voice, so ..why?

mimivan

Sat, Aug 25 2007, 8:25 pm

I think baruch hashem is good because it forces me to change my perspective if I'm in a rotten mood. For instance, I was feeling extremely irritated about something, and someone came up to me, said "How are you" and I said "Well, baruch hashem, its not worse!"

Lechatchila Ariber

Sat, Aug 25 2007, 9:25 pm

well then even more, "not bad" is an odd way of saying "I'm fine thank G-d" when one is really feeling fine

greenfire

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 6:32 am

how about the fact that it is all too often that people ask "how are you" but they couldn't really care less how the person is doing ... do we answer the truth ... a falicy ... or be thankful to Hashem when we aren't really up to that ... most often the person asking continues on their merry way before the asked even begins to answer ... so "not bad" just means no time to tell you the horrid truth ...

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 7:14 am

A. depends on whom I am talking too...

Some peopel if you say Baruch hashem, they give u a weird look. So I say Thank g-d or something similar... But I get the whole.. "not bad" response, esp if I am exhausted and not thinking straight.

I have been known to say Baruch Hashem I am here...

Yakira

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 8:16 am

EstiS wrote:

I don't usually hear people answer like this. Usually it's the standard B"H and thats what I answer as well. But as greenfire pointed out, most of the time the asker doesnt really care how the person is doing and just says it because its a normal thing that follows 'hi'. If a close friend were to ask me that or I'd ask them and things werent going great, the answer would probably be 'I've been better' or 'I'm not doing that great to be honest...'

smiley:)

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 8:20 am

greenfire wrote:

I was thinking the exact same thing when I read the original post. When ppl ask how are you, its often just something to fill in the silence - not asked as a real question.

amother

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 9:09 am

what do you think of the Expression Thank G-d
made by jews and non jews?

Lechatchila Ariber

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 11:45 am

what do you mean amother?

Motek

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 5:52 pm

EstiS wrote:

why focus on the negative ...
is it mean to imply that you expected to be worse? but often its said with an upbeat tone of voice, so ..why?

ditto for the annoying (to me) expression "no problem" which is OVERUSED constantly in situations in which there was NO potential problem to be concerned about Rolling Eyes

Lechatchila Ariber

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 6:01 pm

I use that expression...

chen

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 6:25 pm

"Not bad" is a way of minimizing the good to avoid an ayin horo, same way someone might say soandso's daughter is not a bad-looking girl rather than saying she's goodlooking. It is NOT focusing on the negative. You have to take into consideration the tone of voice and other nonverbal cues such as facial expression.

Motek

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 6:40 pm

EstiS wrote:

I use that expression...

nu, so answer your own question - why focus on the negative? Smile

Lechatchila Ariber

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 6:46 pm

because its usually in response to someone asking me to do something and needing reassurance that they aren't being a nuiscance/burden/pain/nudnick etc

chen

Mon, Aug 27 2007, 4:57 am

Please don't start overanalyzing social formulas. That's all it is, a social formula, a greeting. Very few people are really asking for a medical report when they say "how are you?". The people who say "not bad" have heard it somewhere else and are merely repeating a formula that differs from the thank G-d or Boruch Hashem or whatever is usually said in your community. If you want to get silly analyzing social formulas, try these on for size:

How are you?
Boruch hashem.
Boruch Hashem what? Boruch Hashem I won the megamillions lottery?Boruch Hashem I have at least 6 months to live?

Mrs. Nordosfeltmir, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Gamzuletovoh.
How do you do?
How do I do what?

Thank you so much for all your help.
Don't mention it.
Why shouldn't I mention it, did you do something illegal?

For that matter, when you tell someone in aveilus that they should have no more sorrow, what sort of blessing is that? The only way they can really have no more sorrow, short of the arrival of Moshiach, is if they die! Obviously, that's not what you're wishing on them.

Moral of the story: accept inane social formulas for what they are and stop being so literal.

Lechatchila Ariber

Mon, Aug 27 2007, 5:03 am

Quote:

How are you?
Boruch hashem.
Boruch Hashem what? Boruch Hashem I won the megamillions lottery?Boruch Hashem I have at least 6 months to live?

I have an issue with that too... Twisted Evil

Quote:

Moral of the story: accept inane social formulas for what they are and stop being so literal.

is my literalness and analyzing bothering you by any chance? Wink

grin

Sat, Oct 13 2007, 11:49 am

Once when I answered B"H, the response (correctly) was - I know about Hashem - but how are you? Actually, saying "B"H" (or its cousin - B"H each day") is a non-answer, one I now knowingly use when I feel the other person isn't really looking for an answer, just part of the standard conversation routine.

Marion

Sat, Oct 13 2007, 1:15 pm

Because it's better than "not good". Who wants to hear someone complain? So "not bad" means it could be worse, or it's not great but I'm OK with it. B"H doesn't really mean anything and is not really an appropriate response to "How are you?".

(Right now, my favourite response to that question is "pregnant". It encompasses all the good and all the bad.)

Ribbie Danzinger

Sat, Oct 13 2007, 1:52 pm

I learnt that it was the Ba'al Shem Tov, who initiated the Baruch Hashem reply in order to arouse people to remember Hashem in their day-to-day lives.

gryp

Sat, Oct 13 2007, 5:02 pm

That's right.

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