Help! Can't take my son driving

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 12:42 am

My son is learning to drive. He's had a few sessions of drivers Ed but still needs lots of practice. Problem is my nerves can't handle it. I end up yelling, panicking or in tears. I'm pregnant and I just can't deal with short stops, turns that are too narrow or too wide, etc. I know we all need to learn sometimes but what can I do if I don't have the nerves for it? He's going overseas after Tishrei and wants his license before that. There is no one else available to take him driving and I can't afford endless drivers Ed sessions.

chani8

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 2:53 am

If you cannot do it, understandably so, then you'll have to pay someone, or put it off until his return.

Just because he wants his driver's license right now, doesn't mean he gets it. But be nice and sympathetic about it.

animeme

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 7:41 am

It's a rough situation. Talk to the driving school about how much it is to buy a package of lessons- they will usually reduce the price that way. Explain that you want maybe six or eight over the next month.

Drivers ed cars have brakes for the passenger. Ours do not. It can be very scary, especially if the learner has a steeper learning curve. Yes, the lessons cost money, but it's an investment for the future.

Adding that if he is going away and will not drive at all for a long time, and has not gained a real competency yet, it may not be worth doing now. I had to reteach dd almost from scratch when she took a five month break.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:09 am

I feel bad. I want him to learn to drive and trying to convince myself I can do it, but when he actually gets behind the wheel panic takes over. It's embarrassing. I tell him it's not his fault, just my nerves.

He wants a license before he goes bc he'll be working as a dorm counselor and they want him to have a license. In any case probably not so safe to have an inexperienced driver driving younger boys around....

Notsobusy

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:21 am

amother wrote:

My dd has her license for six months and I still haven't gone in the car with her driving. She was positive she was the only one with a crazy mother, until I spoke to other mothers in her class, and most of them said the same thing!

You're right, a new driver shouldn't be driving around a bunch of younger boys, especially in a different country where there are different rules and driving expectations.

Chayalle

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:22 am

Is there somewhere you can take him to drive, at least till he gets more comfortable behind the wheel, that would be easier on your nerves?

My oldest DD recently got her license....last year, after a lesson or two, I used to take her on Motzoei Shabbos to a huge empty parking lot (at the blue claws stadium, for those of you who live in Lakewood) to practice. It was less nerve wracking but still instructive - she was able to practice turning and driving in a quiet, barely contested area before we moved on.

Next step, when he's comfortable and you are calmer, is to find a small quiet neighborhood where there are lots of streets for practicing turns, occasional cars coming but not lots of traffic....

ETA: whether he should be getting a job that involves driving others soon after getting his license (NO IMVHO), he still needs to learn to drive, for his future - so it's a hurdle that needs to be crossed.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:24 am

amother wrote:

My son is learning to drive. He's had a few sessions of drivers Ed but still needs lots of practice. Problem is my nerves can't handle it. I end up yelling, panicking or in tears. I'm pregnant and I just can't deal with short stops, turns that are tnioo narrow or too wide, etc. I know we all need to learn sometimes but what can I do if I don't have the nerves for it? He's going overseas after Tishrei and wants his license before that. There is no one else available to take him driving and I can't afford endless drivers Ed sessions.

Are you trying to imply that you're teaching him to drive?? If you're pregnant and can't handle the nerves of it, then of course he needs professional lessons. Why don't you send him to driving school and you stay safe at home?

Notsobusy

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:26 am

amother wrote:

Because she can't afford it.

Op, is he going to be making money as a dorm counselor? If yes, can you borrow or get the money from somewhere, with the condition that he has to pay it back from his salary?

SixOfWands

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:38 am

My nerves couldn't handle it, and I wasn't even pregnant! If you can't afford Driving School (and some of them are more affordable than you think), is there something you could barter with someone in your community? Eg, if you make amazing challah, maybe someone would be willing to take him out in return for challah, or babysitting, or something of that sort.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:45 am

amother wrote:

I've already paid for a series of lessons. But if you need, say, minimum of 50 hours of practice that would be $5000. Obviously someone other than a driving instructor has to take him driving.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:47 am

glutenless wrote:

No pay, but at least it's one year of tuition (and flights, etc) that I don't have to pay!

doctorima

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

I've already paid for a series of lessons. But if you need, say, minimum of 50 hours of practice that would be $5000. Obviously someone other than a driving instructor has to take him driving.

I don't know anybody that needs 50 hours of driving lessons, that sounds quite excessive. And the idea that you're paying $100 per lesson is quite expensive, even more so if you're buying a package of classes. I don't know where you're located, but definitely shop around, and you should be able to get lessons for far cheaper than that.

SixOfWands

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 10:48 am

doctorima wrote:

You don't need 50 hours of lessons, but in NY State, in order for anyone under 18 to get a drivers license, a parent or guardian has to certify that the driver has had at least 50 hours of supervised practice driving with at least 15 hours at night (after sunset) and at least 10 hours in moderate to heavy traffic. If the only two possibilities are mom or driving instructor, and mom can't do it, that's 50 hours of lessons.