POLL: How long did you cosleep with your child?

Rappel

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 5:17 am

Before I had my baby, I was certain we left cosleeping behind with the era of Shlomo Hamelech.

After he was born though, I was miserable when I had to constantly get up to nurse. When I shared my woes, almost all my neighbors came out of the closet and admitted that they cosleep, each to her own extent.

Following up a recent post about cosleeping methods, did you/how long did you cosleep with your children?

Rappel

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 5:33 am

Mmmmmm...I guess a follow-up question would be why, but there doesn't seem to be room for that in the poll.

Do most women stop cosleeping when they stop nursing, or do other factors play into it?

chocolatecake

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 8:50 am

I nursed all my kids over a yr and am currently nursing a newborn. I keep the crib arms reach from my bed. When baby cries in mid of night I sit up get baby from crib nurse and put back incrib. I nurse lying down so yes there have been times that I fell asleep nursing. I sleep better knowing baby in crib.

lfab

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:04 am

I always have baby start off the night in a pack n play right next to my bed. When they wake up in middle of the night I bring them into bed and usually fall back asleep with them still in my bed. I usually continue with this until I stop nursing baby in middle of the night (between 6-8 months, varied based on each child). With my first I thought I would never be willing to co-sleep, but it sort of just happened. The first few weeks I would get up and sit up to feed her in middle of the night. But I was so tired and would fall asleep sitting up and didn't think that was safe either. I started to nurse lying down and would just fall asleep nursing. It just worked so much better for all of us and we all got more sleep so I continued to do it with my other kids.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 9:48 am

First I planned on sleeping with for a month or two, but he couldn't sleep alone so I let him sleep with me til 8 months. my husband then said "choose the baby or me in bed. I am literally going to sleep in our son's room if you don't get rid of him" so we got rid of him. he screamed and screamed and never slept through the night until he was literally four years old! After that trauma, we did not let any other child sleep with us for one day. literally the day they come home from the hospital they sleep in a separate room in a crib. both of our next two kids were sleeping 6 hours stretches at 6 weeks and 12 hour stretches at 3 months.

Chayalle

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 10:21 am

My oldest DD was in my bed like, forever. I think it started off being nursing-related....but she got used to sleeping with me and didn't want to sleep elsewhere. I'd put her to sleep in her crib, but at some point in the night she'd wake up crying and I ended up going with the path of least resistance by letting her sleep with me.

Don't ask how long that went on.....and with my next, I nursed in the rocking chair and never brought her to my bed, so that I wouldn't have to deal with resettling her.

My 3rd child ended up being more like my oldest...leads me to believe there's a personality type at play here - some kids like/push to cosleep with their mothers more than others.....

Just last night I got a certain 8-year-old visitor at 4 a.m. who supposedly couldn't sleep....she promptly took over most of my bed and fell asleep, leaving me with a backache as I tried to claim my corner for the rest of the night....

ETA: no hugs needed. I consider this par for the course, part of the joys of motherhood....

Last edited by Chayalle on Tue, Sep 20 2016, 2:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

LiLIsraeli

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 10:26 am

lfab wrote:

Are you me?

Exactly this.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 11:09 am

As soon as they were sleeping through the night without needed a nursing session they were out of my bed.... maybe around 8 months? 10 months? I can't remember anymore. Definitely before 1st birthday.

animeme

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 11:34 am

I'm also an "I fell asleep nursing sitting up" person who started nursing lying down. We like to start the baby in the crib in the baby's room for the initial sleep period to get some real rest, and then at the first wake up, I usually bring the baby in to me. That stays until no more night nursing.

I had one child who stayed with me almost all night until age 1. She just didn't sleep well I'm her crib. It took us awhile to realize that she's sensiry, and all the rules of "hard mattress, no pillow, no puffy blankets" didn't work for her. My bed was more comfy. At age 1 we put a pillow and mini quilt in her crib, and for the most part she stayed. Though she was used to me, so it also helped to add the pj shirt I had worn the night before.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 12:31 pm

DD had severe anxiety and OCD as a child. She slept with me until she was 12. (Yes, you read that right. TWELVE.)

B'H, she's happy with her own room now. I kinda miss her, because she always has the door closed and her music turned up full blast. My baby has turned into a teenager!

amother

Jade

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 12:48 pm

Rappel wrote:

I coslept for 8 months and my baby fell off the bed 3 times in that amt of time....I would never recommend it and never do it again. I never wanted to in the first place but my husband kept pushing me to do it...he would always say he needs comfort... Then of course my baby got used to it and refused to sleep in the crib so if I wanted to get any kind of sleep I had to bring him to sleep with me. It was a pretty miserable time...

amother

Jade

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 12:52 pm

amother wrote:

That's exactly what I hope to do with my second after having a similarly hard experience with my first. Babies sleep better in their own room. Did you put a monitor in the room?

imasinger

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 1:00 pm

I voted "one month" because that was the time frame where I would fall asleep while nursing, and I thought cosleeping meant sharing the same bed.

But usually they were in a bassinet next to my bed until they were old enough to switch to something with a lowered mattress. Then, depending on the kid, they either went into a crib in another room, or continued in the pack n play for a while.

I think 9 months was the longest there was a kid in the room.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 2:31 pm

Co-slept with oldest (now 38) for several years, ds21 for about 4 years, along with baby sister dd18 (who co-slept and nursed 5 years...nursing was every few weeks by then). They are all normal and very, very independent, B"H. Never ever had a child fall out of bed...used one of those mesh railings made for that. With the oldest, I had my bed against a wall. They also slept on a sheepskin for comfort. You would be surprised that I'm the farthest thing from a left-wing, hippy -type. Kind of the opposite, though I'm very into health/nutrition. Also, I was well into my 40s when I co-slept with the last two. I bought cribs that were never used with each one...haha. I can't imagine not sleeping with my children; it made for a good night's sleep and easy nursing. Never gave any of my children bottles...ever. Not judging at all; I felt strongly and intuitively it was right for us.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 3:16 pm

I get crazy if I don't sleep. I can't do baby noise or listening stressingly to the breathing.
It doesn't prevent from EBF on demand. I have nursed up to THREE, you read that right.

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 5:51 pm

Slept with ds1 until he was 14 months and he stopped sleeping nicely in my bed. He continued to nurse until 2 years old. Ds2 is 8 months and is still sleeping with me and nursing. Hopefully he will nurse until 2 as well. It's what works best for us.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 6:48 pm

Ds1- co slept 4 months, nursed 11 months

Ds2-co slept 4 months, nursed 18 months

Ds3- just turned 1, still nursing and still co sleeping most of the night. I sleep with my husband till about 1 in the morning and join my baby in my bed for the rest of the night.

ceebee

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 6:52 pm

Co sleeping with my 1 year old currently and no plans to stop.

Eta: I believe this is what made nursing so successful for me. Even when I went back to work, I didn't have to supplement with formula. Co sleeping/nursing at night definitely kept my supply plentiful.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 7:01 pm

amother wrote:

That's exactly what I hope to do with my second after having a similarly hard experience with my first. Babies sleep better in their own room. Did you put a monitor in the room?

No monitor. I leave my door and the baby's door open, it is across the hall from each other. Sometimes I walked in to check on him.