Lakewood schools please don't humiliate your child

amother

Lime

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 2:49 pm

amother wrote:

http://www.thelakewoodscoop.com/news/2016/09/first-report-out-of-town-child-not-accepted-to-lakewood-school-brought-to-school-anyway-see-what-happens-next.html

Why would a parent do this? Don't you realize how humiliating it is for your child?

Are you sure the story isn't just a scare tactic? If your child doesn't get into school -- especially if you moved here recently -- don't even THINK about trying to strong-arm your way into giving your children an education. We'll humiliate them.

Would the principal really leave the school on the first day, when s/he is most needed? How did s/he know where the family lives, or whether there would be someone at home?

Not buying it.

amother

Olive

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 2:58 pm

Why would a parent do this? Probably out of desperation if they could not get into any school... On another note, I know of a girl who did not get accepted to any high school in lakewood as well. Her parents did not have the heart to tell her and they went out and bought the school uniform to one of the schools, along with all the school supplies and told her she was going to this specific school. On the first day of school, another parent heard what was happening and quickly called the school principal. She ran into the ninth grade classroom and pulled off the girls names from their cubbies, desks, etc- and shuffled up the desks to make it look disorganized so that this girl would not be embarassed. She then quickly added her onto school lists and made sure she did not feel in any way as if she did not belong there! There are wonderful people out there too...

Miri7

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 3:04 pm

amother wrote:

Wow. Amazing principal. This is how you teach kids good middot - by exemplifying them. Not only did they "let" her in, but they took extra steps to prevent embarrassment. Way to go.

amother

Wine

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 3:05 pm

amother wrote:

I'm sorry but what these parents did is inexcusable. Luckily another parent was there to salvage their huge gaffe- but imagine the utter humiliation and horror of this girl had that parent not been there? She probably would never have trusted her parents again, and the searing humiliation she would have endured is beyond belief.

amother

Lime

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 3:14 pm

Miri7 wrote:

Wow. Amazing principal. This is how you teach kids good middot - by exemplifying them. Not only did they "let" her in, but they took extra steps to prevent embarrassment. Way to go.

While its "amazing" in a way, I completely understand why a school wouldn't want to do that. Everyone would bypass the admissions process, and just show up where they wanted their kids to go.

I also have my doubts that any high-school aged child wasn't aware that she hadn't been accepted to any schools. Didn't she see the letters? After she wasn't admitted initially, didn't she and her parents make every effort to find a school for her? I understand how a 5 year-old would be clueless, but not a high schooler.

No, I don't have an answer to this problem. I wish I did.

BTW, this has happened at both Harvard Law School and Columbia Law School -- someone who was rejected in each instance represented himself as a student, hoping to dazzle the staff with his brilliance, and be admitted. Didn't work.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 7:42 pm

There are no men principals I think what tls meant was that the school owner drove the kid home. and on every application is a home address where do you think acceptance and rejection letters go to so of course a school knows where a child lives.

Also when borouch manis used to run the cheder years ago he said one year a family from deal who didn't get his son into the cheder sent their son to school on the first day of school and he left the boy in the office until the parents came to pick him up. He said two years later this child died and he still thinks he did the right thing.

This story is at least twelve years old.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 8:15 pm

About the high school girl not knowing I found that story totally not true and hard to believe.

Most girls wait for the mail and open the letters themselves so they would
Know if they were accepted or not. Same thing with school supplies list the irk never noticed that she didn't get all from the school throughout the summer? She Never saw her parents trying to get her into a school?

Also in high school there are no labeled cubbies or desks this is not primary.

And last her friends knew that she didn't get in but she didn't that her friends other was able to notify school before.

And if girl really didn't know what we're parents thinking just sending her they thought school would play along with her game if school didn't care until now sending child down wouldn't make them care.

But it's a nice story to tell over.

cnc

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 8:27 pm

amother wrote:

Not to nitpick but in the high school where I have taught there are.

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 8:30 pm

amother wrote:

I'd like to respectfully say I also find this story not believable. If it's true, it would be a tremendous kiddush hashem and with that in mind can you name the school?

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 8:57 pm

I'm very conflicted on this one. On the one hand, I can totally understand why the parents felt so desperate, but on the other hand, how do you do that to your child?! How can you take that chance on your kid's cheshbon?

I'm not sure what the right answer is, I don't think we should reasonably expect that the school has to accept the kid just because the parents decided that this was the school they were going to send her to. I also have a hard time with an administrator or principal who was able to humiliate the child like that.

Also, I thought there wasn't such a problem this year with kids not getting into elementary schools in Lakewood. Is that true? I know for sure the high school girls had it much easier this year.

Notsobusy

Fri, Sep 23 2016, 8:33 am

groisamomma wrote:

Lesson: Don't move here if you aren't guaranteed a spot for every one of your children. Personally, I think Lakewood kids come first when there is limited room.

Every time I see one of those "I want to move to Lakewood" posts, I think PLEASE DON'T! I know it's wrong, but there's just not enough space here for the people who are currently living here. There's not enough space in the schools, not enough space on the roads, and they're pricing us out of the real estate market.

octopus

Fri, Sep 23 2016, 9:06 am

groisamomma wrote:

Lesson: Don't move here if you aren't guaranteed a spot for every one of your children. Personally, I think Lakewood kids come first when there is limited room.

There is something very wrong with this whole picture. Every child is precious. Could you imagine the early bais yaakovs and yeshivas turning children away? Never! This whole business about certain schools being a "good fit" blah, blah, blah- we've created our own problems. This is why we are still in galus. Sorry, I'm making my general comment on your post, groisamomma. I'm not specifically picking on you. It just makes my blood boil when I see the turning away attitude. I was turned away from a certain bais yaakov (not in lakewood, in a different place) because my family did not belong to that town. Others were turned away for same reason and landed in public school and are not religious today.(my parents refused to put me in p.s.). There is an accounting to be had at the end of the day, and Hashem will exact punishment. I would not want to be the administrator that turned down children, and that kid had nowhere to go. And the administrator that says he still doesn't feel guilty after turning away kid that ended up dying? Um, even if a person didn't do something wrong, a good person will feel bad about that. Whats wrong with him??!!

mummiedearest

Fri, Sep 23 2016, 9:18 am

let's turn this around: what is so wonderful about lakewood schools that the parents MUST get the children into one? there are schools elsewhere. even if you live in lakewood, there are schools in other nj towns. it's not unheard of to bus your child to another town for school. this isn't a question of moving somewhere else for a child's education necessarily. why are people so adamant about sending their kids to a school system that has had so many issues in terms of admissions?

when I was in high school in brooklyn, we had a bus coming from nj every day. traveling really is possible.

Notsobusy

Fri, Sep 23 2016, 9:27 am

octopus wrote:

I agree with you completely, but I also agree with groisamamma. Every Jewish kids should be accepted to a Jewish school, but the reality is that there is no space in Lakewood. There are so many new schools, but a new school can only grow so quickly, and an old school can only grow so much. Lakewood is growing tremendously every year and the schools can't keep up.

Everyone has a right to move wherever they want to, and it's reasonable to expect to be able to get your kids into school in a frum town. Most people do a lot of research before movinb go a new city, anyone who asks about Lakewood will be told that Lakewood schools have a space issue. It's unreasonable to expect space to miraculously open for your kids when there isn't enough space for the kids who already live here.