Please don't wear perfume to shul on R"H.

animeme

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 9:40 am

Reading the perfume thread has reminded me of this yearly issue, so I'm doing a PSA.

There are people who are allergic to scent or are very sensitive/sensory to it. Some of these people don't even go to shul during the year to avoid it, or choose their seats carefully and move as needed.

On Rosh Hashanah, many people go to shul who don't usually go, and many shuls have assigned seats. Shul is often more crowded, so there is less airing out. Your perfume, even in small amounts, can be a problem for the person davening next to you or even create a situation where she can't stay in her seat.

Thank you for your consideration!

amother

Bisque

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 10:59 am

THIS X100.
I hate being around perfume and RH/YK are the worst. Even the most "gentle, natural, sweet "how can anyone hate it" bother many.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 11:13 am

Nothing worse than being around a bunch of women who seem to have bathed in it. I spend my whole davening blowing my nose, itching my eyes, scratching my skin and gasping for air. Not fun.

water_bear88

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 11:23 am

This. Please, please, ask a shaila about bathing/washing your armpits if you're wearing the perfume to cover up the smell of not showering for two days. It never works, and then we get hit with a double-whammy of b.o. and perfume.

gp2.0

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 11:49 am

I hate the smell of perfume (and cologne) because the smell makes me feel dizzy/nauseous but it would never dawn on me to think I have the right to tell others whether or not to wear perfume... 😳

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 12:10 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

I hate the smell of perfume (and cologne) because the smell makes me feel dizzy/nauseous but it would never dawn on me to think I have the right to tell others whether or not to wear perfume... 😳

For places with no specific policy, I think a politely worded request is fine. If there is a policy of no strong scents (as in many workplaces), it should be appropriately enforced.

People who like to wear perfume may not realize:
1. How strong it is, even if the wearer feels it is "light"
2. How badly it affects other people

A discussion forum such as this one is a good place to try to raise awareness.

studying_torah

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 12:16 pm

I wanted to put a note perfume request on my wedding invitations (my mother said no). I was worried id be a Kallah with a sneeze or asthma attack cuz of ppl's perfume. Bh it wasn't too bad, but I totally get your concerns, op.
If your shul had a window or a/c, try to book a seat nearby for fresher air.

amother

Teal

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 12:21 pm

Another thing--I think perfume wearers don't realize quite how strong it smells. I used to have a coworker who you couldn't get within ten feet of if you wanted to be able to breathe. I don't have an official allergy. My airways don't close up but I do stop breathing around the scent so no, while I don't have a right to tell others what to do, I think it's wonderful that we can make people aware of this.

amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 12:40 pm

It never occurred to me to ask others to avoid wearing perfume.

I simply stay away from shul, haven't been to shul in about ten years :-(

Perhaps communities with plenty of shuls can disignate one shul as fragrance-free?

This may benefit many who otherwise don't go to shul because of this issue.

bluebird

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 3:49 pm

Keep it in check other days, too. Some perfume wearers just don't know howw strong it is. Art work I had to share an elevator with a woman who smelled like she'd bathed in it and so did I after having to share that space with her. It was so gross, and even my co-workers remarked on how I don't usually wear perfume and why did I start. So gross. I had to take a long walk outside over lunch to get some of it off and wash my clothes and shower as soon as I got home.

I'm sure she thought her perfume was so nice and subtle, but it as so not.

geulah papyrus

Sun, Sep 25 2016, 8:37 pm

I once heard that "if you can smell your own perfume, you're wearing too much." (I assume that this has to do more with being able to smell it without raising your wrist to your nose.)
I used to wear a drop of perfume but I had to stop due to my own allergies. Now that I have kids (one with asthma issues) I just don't even bother. I've certainly grown more sensitive over the years to other people's inability to tolerate what can often be excessive scent.

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 26 2016, 5:26 am

In my world there is perfume (though not overwhelming and not quite everyone) and bamba to shul. Plenty people have preferences, we don't really get to impose them. Health reasons, well... either a community as a whole decides to ban bamba, perfume... good luck in France LOL or not. I'm a migrainer, some smells are really horrible. But that's life.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Sep 26 2016, 5:37 am

I am terribly allergic to patchouli. For me, it's a migraine trigger as well as giving me sneezing fits. There was a woman at my shul who wore it because "it was an organic essential oil". Well, just because something is organic, doesn't mean it's not an allergen to some people.

She's the nicest lady ever, and I felt bad that I had to explain to her that I had to leave the women's section because there was nowhere in the room that I could get away from her scent. She had no idea that it carried so far, or that anyone could possibly have a problem with it.