Do you fast if you are not pregnant & not nursing?

amother

Smokey

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 10:23 am

Is there a heter for women not to fast even thought they are not pregnant & not nursing?

So many mothers who are not pregnant & not nursing tell me they just don't fast. Most of them never asked a Rav. They told me that once they became a mother, they never have to fast again besides Tisha B'av & Yom Kippur. Am I fasting for nothing? I don't either want to fast I just don't know where to get this heter from. Anyone?

SuperWify

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 10:34 am

Gemerah says it take 2 years for a woman to recuperate after birth. Even though it might not be true today- our bodies have changed- my husband's grandfather paskened like this and us woman don't fast for 2 years after birth. Please ask your rav.

cnc

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 10:36 am

amother wrote:

I only fast on Tisha Baav and Yom Kippur. I have asked a Rav.

yidisheh mama

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 10:38 am

I don't fast well at all. Since I was a young a teenager I only fasted until chatzos on minor fast days. My father had asked for me and was told I don't need to fast more than that.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:07 am

I don't fast. Women in my family don't, unless they want to. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. Different people have different minhagim.

amother

Wine

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:42 am

I fast when I don't go to work (sunday, work from home). I can't fast and drive; I get too anxious.

I had asked a rav previously; I didn't ask this time.

However, I do feel guilty.

I think that if you can't do your job as a mommy b/c of the fast, you should not fast, and I"m pretty sure most rabbonim would have no issue with it.

lfab

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:51 am

If I'm not pregnant or nursing than I fast (except once when I really really wasn't feeling well). But even when I am pregnant or nursing I feel somewhat guilty for not fasting, like I'm just taking the easy way out because I have an excuse. I know it's not logical and that between a full day of work, then going home to take care of the kids, plus being pregnant it would be too much and probably not good for me or the baby. But I still feel guilty, as though maybe I'm just trying to convince myself and it's probably really fine. B"H I usually fast well, if not maybe I would ask for a heter not too even if I wasn't pregnant/nursing. But I have heard women who say they just don't fast while their kids are little.

amother

Orange

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:54 am

when I was a teen I always fasted. since having my first, I find it extremely weakening to fast so for "minor" fast I try till chatzos.

gold21

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:56 am

SuperWify wrote:

Yup

This halachic status applies for 2 years post-birth, nursing or not.

(Obviously if someone is nursing they have more of a need to eat and drink than someone who is not nursing, but many hold the halachic status applies regardless)

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 11:57 am

I only fast yom kippur and 9 av. I get migraines and bad stomach aches when I cant drink at all. I havent fasted on any minor fasts since I was in my teens.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:03 pm

gold21 wrote:

As you qualified, "many hold." More likely "some hold.", It's not universal by a long shot. What's interesting is how a carve-out for some women carries over for unmarried women and those who haven't had children in years.

sky

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:04 pm

I try to fast if not nursing or pregnant. (I typically will try if nursing or pregnant, until chatzos if able).
If I'm not properly able to take care of my children because I'm fasting then I might break it.

(I'm now nursing and not fasting because I find that fasting 2 fasts so close together, especially while nursing makes the second much harder. Plus I"m sick Sad

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:16 pm

Yes, I'm fasting (not pregnant or nursing). I have no good reason not to fast and it never occurred to me to ask.

(Edited for clarity)

Last edited by cm on Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

allthingsblue

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:18 pm

I get headaches and get really tired when I fast. That makes me unable to care for my son properly, without getting easily upset at him for no good reason.
Therefore, if I'm not feeling well and I am not able to properly take care of my son, I will break my fast.

Raisin

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 12:34 pm

I never fast the minor fasts when pregnant or nursing. I never heard of the 2 year rule until recently and my baby is over 2. Otherwise I fast.

bh I fast pretty well.