How do you explain Trumps language to your teens.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:03 pm

Election season was always a lively time for political debate at our dinner table. Our teens and preteens were avid participants. How do parents address the crude language of Donald Trump? Since human nature is pretty consistent how will you address his language as a president? Will you seize the moment and use his divisive language as a teachable moment?

imasinger

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:22 pm

I'm not sure that we will need to discuss the specific incident of the "locker room talk".

This, from September of last year:

My (then) 13 year old's comment after reading about the (first primary) debate, and seeing that Trump said, "I say, not in a braggadocious way, I've made billions and billions of dollars":

Quote:

"Braggadocios. That's a big word. If he can handle big words like 'braggadocious', how about learning a word that presidents REALLY need to know -- 'diplomacy'?"

His braggadocio about women -- yeah right, nobody respects them more than he does -- is just more of the same.

I don't believe that we benefit our children and teens by going into the details of what someone did wrong, as long as they know which behavior is not allowed. To someone who is clear on shomer negia, that may suffice, and more is TMI.

But I'm open to being convinced otherwise. What does everyone else think?

Miri7

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:33 pm

We have been able, thus far, to avoid having our older children know the exact words that Trump said. (The little ones don't know anything about it, of course.) We told them that he bragged about s-xually assaulting women (by kissing and touching them without their consent.) I'm hoping that their access to screens and media is limited enough that they won't have the opportunity to hear the actual words used.

They know that this kind of behavior is the behavior we have warned them about when warning them about s-xual predators. When one asked, "But isn't it illegal to assault someone like that?" I said "Yes."

I then had to try to explain why this didn't disqualify him as a candidate for president, and why some people would choose to continue to support him. Yes, even frum Jews who keep shomer negiah. That was hard and I pretty much just threw up my hands at that one. I tried to turn the discussion into "What would you do if you heard someone talking in this way?" so it could be a learning moment, but they didn't think that they knew anyone who would talk this way. So I reinforced the idea of speaking up when people say bad things and not condoning such behavior.

Seriously, we have a presidential candidate whose words can't be played on TV without the "WARNING: GRAPHIC s-xual CONTENT" banner played on the TV screen?

MagentaYenta

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:43 pm

Miri7 wrote:

It sounds as if you did a good job of using a teachable moment. I noticed that unlike the last debate Yeshiva World News wasn't going to stream this one. They danced about the reasons, but it was apparent the language played a part of their decision making.

Miri7

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:47 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Thanks - I'm hoping that we can at least get them out of their teens before they know that the p-word refers to anything other than cute little kitty-cats. But I may be delusional on that one....

Chayalle

Mon, Oct 10 2016, 3:27 pm

I have no need to explain Trump's language to my teens. They both B"H have heads on their shoulders. They can recognize bad language by themselves, and they know exactly what it says about the person, and what not to emulate.

We have taught them from an early age who their true leaders are, and who to emulate. It has never been the man in the white house.