Explaining to 3.5 year old how babies are made and born

amother

Ecru

Sat, Oct 29 2016, 1:56 pm

My 3.5 year old daughter has taken a great interest in where babies come from and how they are born. She has not asked me directly how they are made, and has just told me that they get into your tummy by swallowing them. And she has asked me directly how they come out of the stomach, she asked if the stomach opens up, or if we press a button, etc.

How can I explain it to her on her level? I don't want to give her the facts of life at this age, for although she is a precocious child (in my opinion), I don't feel it's appropriate to explain anything having to do with people's 'private parts' at age 3.5.

Any suggestions or experience welcome. Thanks!

sweetpotato

Sat, Oct 29 2016, 8:33 pm

This made me chuckle because I'm currently pregnant and my 3 year old is aware to the extent a 3 year old can be. She was looking at my belly and said "Mommy, there's a baby in your tummy?" I said yes, and she said "oh no, the baby is stuck in there. I need to get it out. I'll get a screw driver." I responded "no! That's not how the baby gets out." And she replied "oh, ok, I'll get scissors instead." Eek!

I have told her that the baby has to stay in till it grows big enough and then hashem helps the baby come out. Even if I explained in more detail how it happens, I don't think she'd comprehend it. I don't feel the need to shield her from the biological facts but I just don't think it would make any sense to her at this age.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Oct 30 2016, 1:56 am

From when I was tiny I thought the mommy's stomach split open with the doctor's help... and was then sewn up again with stitches. I heard that having babies hurts like crazy probably in parsha, and didn't see how else it could happen.

When I was a kid I asked my mother why she only had a few and she told me that Hashem decide when and how many... totally true....I was satisfied.

SpringBlossom

Sun, Oct 30 2016, 4:36 am

I usually start the answer by telling the kids (I have a 7 year old girl and a 3.5 year boy I've discussed aspects of this with already) that there's a little hole in your body that you don't usually notice, and when it's time for the baby to come out, Hashem makes a neis and it gets much bigger, the baby comes out and then it gets smaller again. (Which is totally accurate - I mean, who among us who has experienced natural childbirth HASN'T marveled at the miracle - and it sets the stage for expansion later on, but it doesn't provide more information than necessary.)

When at some point they ask: "So where is the hole?" (which may happen immediately or only 2 years later - I've had both), I say matter of factly, "it's down close to the holes where your urine and BMs come out." They may think it's funny for a few seconds - and then they'll accept it and go back to whatever they were doing.

As adults who know more about how reproduction works, we're more uncomfortable about "discussing people's private parts." But if you think about it, we discuss "people's private parts and what comes out of them" with 3 year olds several times every day, when we toilet train them, and we ask them if they used the bathroom, and we change their little siblings' diapers, etc. A baby coming out of a mother's tummy is just another biological process that happens to take place in the same area. If we're comfortable with it, they will be too.

Just don't answer more than they asked. Answer the question, and if that's enough for them, great. When they want to know more, they'll ask.