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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Olive
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 10:50 pm
If you are hosting guests and you or your family gets sick, please notify guests as soon as you know so they can decide if they want to come. same goes for guests. If you or dh or kids are sick, please do not go to your hosts for meal or sleeping it isn't mentshlech or fair to the hosts. Also, use serving utensils if they are there and not your own fork or spoon, even if you're just sticking your fork into one piece of kugel, chicken whatever, even if you're healthy.
And please, cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze.
Even if you're not sick, if you're cutting or arranging food for people onto platter, please don't lick your fingers in between, even if you're not directly touching food and youre using a knife or serving spoon- it still isn't nice, yes I've seen it and was grossed out. For people who blow their nose, please don't leave that dirty tissue on the table, and please wash your hands before you touch anything, and don't change diapers on someone's couch or table. Of course you should wash your hands after changing diapers. I've seen people change diapers and not wash their hands afterward and then they go to serve food.
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zaq
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 10:57 pm
You are 100% right on all counts of course, but do you honestly think posting on Imamother is going to help? People ignorant or boorish enough to do the things you describe seldom read posts on etiquette, and if they do read them, are hardly likely to think they are the ones being addressed.
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amother
Beige
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 11:06 pm
amother wrote: | If you are hosting guests and you or your family gets sick, please notify guests as soon as you know so they can decide if they want to come. same goes for guests. If you or dh or kids are sick, please do not go to your hosts for meal or sleeping it isn't mentshlech or fair to the hosts. Also, use serving utensils if they are there and not your own fork or spoon, even if you're just sticking your fork into one piece of kugel, chicken whatever, even if you're healthy.
And please, cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze.
Even if you're not sick, if you're cutting or arranging food for people onto platter, please don't lick your fingers in between, even if you're not directly touching food and youre using a knife or serving spoon- it still isn't nice, yes I've seen it and was grossed out. For people who blow their nose, please don't leave that dirty tissue on the table, and please wash your hands before you touch anything, and don't change diapers on someone's couch or table. Of course you should wash your hands after changing diapers. I've seen people change diapers and not wash their hands afterward and then they go to serve food. |
Pretty much agree with you across the board, but question on this one....
I no longer have babies, so no changing table around. Don't love babies being changed on my expensive sofa, but where SHOULD I tell someone to change their baby? Is a bed any better? I keep a small towel around just in case parents don't have the sense to lay something under their baby. But if you have a better place/ idea..... I'd love to hear it.
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amother
Aubergine
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 11:14 pm
zaq wrote: | You are 100% right on all counts of course, but do you honestly think posting on Imamother is going to help? People ignorant or boorish enough to do the things you describe seldom read posts on etiquette, and if they do read them, are hardly likely to think they are the ones being addressed. |
Yes. I am one of those clueless people. I always read these threads, and make mental notes.
(In case you were judging, I was terribly abused by my parents and grew up in dysfunctional home, and I am only now, for the past 5 years, starting to pick up on social cues.)
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amother
Smokey
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 11:46 pm
have to chime in on the diaper changing comment too. if no changing table then where oh where?? and if it is just a wet diaper and you put the clean one underneath before u take off the wet one, what is the big deal? the couch won't get soiled. and its SO awkward to crouch on the floor in someone's house. guess I have young ones so I'm not getting it, idk. I totally understand all your other comments tho.
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trixx
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Sat, Oct 29 2016, 11:52 pm
amother wrote: | If you are hosting guests and you or your family gets sick, please notify guests as soon as you know so they can decide if they want to come. same goes for guests. If you or dh or kids are sick, please do not go to your hosts for meal or sleeping it isn't mentshlech or fair to the hosts. Also, use serving utensils if they are there and not your own fork or spoon, even if you're just sticking your fork into one piece of kugel, chicken whatever, even if you're healthy.
And please, cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze.
Even if you're not sick, if you're cutting or arranging food for people onto platter, please don't lick your fingers in between, even if you're not directly touching food and youre using a knife or serving spoon- it still isn't nice, yes I've seen it and was grossed out. For people who blow their nose, please don't leave that dirty tissue on the table, and please wash your hands before you touch anything, and don't change diapers on someone's couch or table. Of course you should wash your hands after changing diapers. I've seen people change diapers and not wash their hands afterward and then they go to serve food. |
This is a huuuuge pet peeve of mine. When I was in Israel many hosts didn't even put serving spoons in dishes! Gross gross
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groisamomma
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 12:02 am
Agree with amother above me, zaq. I know what's blatantly disgusting just from seeing my mother do it but there are little nuances I wouldn't necessarily know on my own so I'm glad when people post these things.
(For example, I usually use my own fork when I'm taking my piece off the platter, and I'm careful not to touch the remaining pieces, but now I know that it grosses people out.)
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 3:25 am
I always change my baby in the host's bathroom. Even if they say the couch is fine.
Last edited by amother on Fri, Aug 21 2020, 2:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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LisaS
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 3:55 am
zaq wrote: | You are 100% right on all counts of course, but do you honestly think posting on Imamother is going to help? People ignorant or boorish enough to do the things you describe seldom read posts on etiquette, and if they do read them, are hardly likely to think they are the ones being addressed. |
Actually I always appreciate these types of PSAs, especially when worded respectfully. I am always careful to let people know when we are sick, and wouldn't lick my fingers,etc, but even so it is good to have these type of reminders. For example, someone once posted a PSA on keeping your front yard neat and I took that memo to heart.
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tryinghard
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 10:58 am
crush wrote: | I always change my baby in the host's bathroom. Even if they say the couch is fine. |
Nice for you that your friends all have big bathrooms. TBH, most of my friends have teeny bathrooms that you have to awkwardly turn around in to even shut the door. MAYBE I could change a newborn - but an 18 month old? Would never work.
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Simple1
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 11:11 am
The baby can be changed on the bed.
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gp2.0
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 11:23 am
groisamomma wrote: |
(For example, I usually use my own fork when I'm taking my piece off the platter, and I'm careful not to touch the remaining pieces, but now I know that it grosses people out.) |
I don't get this one. If someone serves a plate of food with a serving spoon or fork in it, obviously I'll use the serving utensil. But if someone puts a plate of sliced kugel down without a serving fork, clearly they don't mind if everyone uses their own fork...and to be honest, I don't mind eating food from a communal plate. To each their own. Not to mention if a guest canceled and didn't show up last minute because they had a minor cold, I'd think they were majorly overreacting.
(Is this just an ew factor situation, or is there genuine concern about germs? Cuz op if you're worried about germs you should be far more worried about your doorknobs...your faucet handles...the cup all your guests use to wash netilas yadayim...)
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asmileaday
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 11:29 am
groisamomma wrote: | Agree with amother above me, zaq. I know what's blatantly disgusting just from seeing my mother do it but there are little nuances I wouldn't necessarily know on my own so I'm glad when people post these things.
(For example, I usually use my own fork when I'm taking my piece off the platter, and I'm careful not to touch the remaining pieces, but now I know that it grosses people out.) |
What is gross about taking just your own piece of food from a platter using your fork? You're not touching anything else. Are people seeing imaginary germs fly off the user's fork and onto all the surrounding pieces?
Changing a diaper on the couch, that annoys me! It's true, probably because I haven't been in the baby stage a couple of years. Our couch is not expensive but it is fabric. Even if you're changing a wet diaper, if your baby is a boy it takes a split second for urine to be sprayed all over!
I've even had my guests change poopy diapers on my couch, and it's in my dining room. We all get a whiff of that wonderful perfume. I'm sorry that is truly gross. But I never say anything because it's family and I don't want to offend.
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Ema of 5
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 11:48 am
crush wrote: | I always change my baby in the host's bathroom. Even if they say the couch is fine. |
The main bathroom in my house is not big enough to change a baby. I absolutely don't mind if someone changes their baby on my couch, I do it all the time.
I also don't mind if someone wants to nurse on my cough or rocking chair, covered or not.
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Ema of 5
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 11:49 am
Simple1 wrote: | The baby can be changed on the bed. |
I'd much rather you change a baby on my couch than on one of my beds.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 5:22 pm
And please tell your kids not to dig up the plants.
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Raisin
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 5:27 pm
gp2.0 wrote: | I don't get this one. If someone serves a plate of food with a serving spoon or fork in it, obviously I'll use the serving utensil. But if someone puts a plate of sliced kugel down without a serving fork, clearly they don't mind if everyone uses their own fork...and to be honest, I don't mind eating food from a communal plate. To each their own. Not to mention if a guest canceled and didn't show up last minute because they had a minor cold, I'd think they were majorly overreacting.
(Is this just an ew factor situation, or is there genuine concern about germs? Cuz op if you're worried about germs you should be far more worried about your doorknobs...your faucet handles...the cup all your guests use to wash netilas yadayim...) |
I make sure to put serving spoons in all dishes. If for some reason a bowl of hummus does not have a spoon in, guests will take a dirty fork from their plate, and use it to serve it.
Obviously solid food like chicken its not such an issue. But I am concerned about allergens, I wouldn't want to serve allergic guests food that I can not guarantee is free of gluten or nuts or whatever because someone used the same utensil to cut challa and take chummus.
For changing babies a kids bed is ideal with a towel underneath.
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gp2.0
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 7:39 pm
Apparently the best way to change a baby's pamper is to ask the host where they prefer the baby be changed...seems like everyone has different preferences.
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MagentaYenta
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 7:45 pm
I keep a package of Chux pads around for folks who may need to change a baby. It's an easy way to protect any furniture when changing a baby.
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amother
Olive
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Sun, Oct 30 2016, 7:46 pm
gp2.0 wrote: | Apparently the best way to change a baby's pamper is to ask the host where they prefer the baby be changed...seems like everyone has different preferences. |
Was going to say ask your host. They sell disposable diaper changing pads that you can bring with you when you go somewhere.
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