You really think your baking challah means somethings!

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:25 am

Here is my vent I live a nice "frum" community where I was never once invited out . Even though I was new and shy, I put myself out there inviting people ,over trying to make play dates have over shabbos etc I was politely declined ppl had other plans.

I considered myself frum sweet and nice I tried not to take offence .
but the people are mean and snobby!
I needed a babysiter I called a lady on my block who has teenage girl hoping I could use her she said no (which is totally fine)
but what got to me waz when I said so nice to meet you I just moved here .she said I know, and hanged up the phone. Seriously, this community its so disgusting thank gd I have a good family and great job so I have lots of friends but I cant stand my community .
Then a neighbor calls me who has in the past totally ignored me asking if want to buy these challah baking tickets. seriously . You think baking bread is going to do help you when you have been so cruel to my family! You think hashem will listen to you?
I remember last year there was huge event where people invited non frum people for shabbos. my family was ignored. My husband ingnored in shul .
I guess what made me write this vent is because I tried again making a playdate for my son because I want him to have friends to play with when the neighbor (very rich by the way) said something to the words you are a renter so people dont want to invest in a relationship with some who might move away. I feel like I am living in Sodom.
Guess what I am trying to say is be nice to your neighbors you never know the hell they are going through and what a difference you could have made if you just would have been nice to to them. Because in my humble opion how you act to your fellow jew is a 100 times more important then baking challah.
end of vent

107

gibberish

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:28 am

Hugs. It sounds like you need to find a new neighborhood.

staten islander

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:34 am

I live in SI,Willowbrook.Its a very nice,warm area and people are very friendly. A lot of people here have dual income families and very busy lives, so when Shabbos comes,they just want to see their children or close friends. I have so many families on my "to invite" list,but life just gets in the way. I would go to the challah bake as a way to meet people,btw. Whatever happens, you sound very sweet and I hope you and your family feel included and make friends in the near future.

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:58 am

Sounds like you live in my area, I feel like I could have written it. If so, I will be your friend and will commiserate with you till we can get the hell outta dodge :-)

naomi2

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 4:53 pm

Gosh this sounds so terrible!
Maybe the renters don't stick around or buy in the neighborhood because ppl are so cold. I wonder if your neighbor thought of that possibility....

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 4:59 pm

Wow, the only place I've heard of people putting renters down is in Lakewood.

UnFarvosNischt

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 5:02 pm

I'm so sorry for you, those neighbors sounds totally awful to live with!
I hope you'll find soon good neighbors to give you hope back into humanity Smile

amother

Mint

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 5:11 pm

You're probably in northern NJ. It can be tough to break in here socially. Hugs.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 5:23 pm

If OP doesnt live in a specific part of Brooklyn, Ill eat my hat!

This is a specific part of Brooklyn to the "T"!

Their Challah Bake this week was amazing, where there was NO snobbishness at all. But, that lasted as long as the event did.

Yes there are some really nice people in this specific part of Brooklyn, you can always find some, but theyre a tiny minority!

No, for the most part, Lakewood does NOT look down at renters, anywhere near as much as in this specific part of Brooklyn.

cozyblanket

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 5:33 pm

I am such an out of towner. Looking down at renters? That's the weirdest thing.

amother

Blue

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 5:53 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, the only place I've heard of people putting renters down is in Lakewood.

Also Staten Island. Interesting how different people have different impressions.

ETA: I lived there some time ago. Maybe the community is different now. I hope so, but the OP's story touched a nerve.

amother

Silver

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 6:01 pm

cozy blanket- I don't think it's a matter of looking down. It could be in certain places that the renters often move and it's hard for some people to keep investing in new friendships so they rather put their "energy" who are staying put. Usually people who buy are planning on living there for more then a year or two. That's no reason to be rude and unwelcoming though. Major hugs op that sounds so hard Sad

amother

Amber

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 6:30 pm

So sorry, OP. I have been living in a new community for the last year and half and not received much warmth or welcome either. I thought it was because we're chasidim living in a largely modern community, but maybe it's because we are renters??? The thought never crossed my mind. This is crazy. I wish we could be neighbors, OP. I'd gladly have you over.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 6:41 pm

Excuse me for insulting Brooklyn ! I live in Flatbush for 5 years and most people have been nothing but nice. Not overly warm and welcoming like out of town but nice and friendly

Ashrei

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 10:29 pm

I had exactly the same experience and b'h, I did get the heck outta dodge. There is life out there, and OP I encourage you to move. Even if you think it's not possible, if you daven and work though it, you can make it happen. There's no reason to put yourself and your family through such nonsense.

tigerwife

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 11:14 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, the only place I've heard of people putting renters down is in Lakewood.

Never heard of or experienced this.

naturalmom5

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 11:37 pm

Can anyone spell chestnut
Just thinking out loud

seeker

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 11:54 pm

All this calling out specific places is such lashon hara. Come on you, that is not where this thread needs to go.

amother

Crimson

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 6:24 am

tigerwife wrote:

Never heard of or experienced this.

I agree. Its lots of people renting. Of course if theyre renting in an area of Mansions in Lakewood, I can see that theyd feel uncomfortable, but most Mansions and areas theyre in, dont have rental units.

Many young couples in Lakewood rent, because the rent is way lower than rentals in other areas, and if they cant afford a down payment, they end up renting a LONG time, and theres lots of people like that in Lakewood!

samantha87

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 7:34 am

What does it say about us that different amothers are each convinced OP is describing 4 separate communities. אוֹי מֶה הָיָה לָנוּ: