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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Lakewood high school please list
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amother
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Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 3:41 am
Chayelle you did not make up that rule but Bais Tova chilled out a little bit and became more realistic. Bais Tova 15 years ago did not allow mothers to come to school with a snood or sneakers. It was in their handbook but now it's known they don't let but they took it out of the handbook. They also used to not let mothers bring little babies to their child's school play but now they became more realistic and realized that mothers can't just drop their six month old baby over at people at 11 am just because their child has a school play.

Still a mother would never go out of the car in a snood but maybe they would pick up their child in a snood but they would stay in the car.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:24 am
amother wrote:
Chayelle you did not make up that rule but Bais Tova chilled out a little bit and became more realistic. Bais Tova 15 years ago did not allow mothers to come to school with a snood or sneakers. It was in their handbook but now it's known they don't let but they took it out of the handbook. They also used to not let mothers bring little babies to their child's school play but now they became more realistic and realized that mothers can't just drop their six month old baby over at people at 11 am just because their child has a school play.

Still a mother would never go out of the car in a snood but maybe they would pick up their child in a snood but they would stay in the car.


I'm glad to hear this. I think it's great for a school to realize when a one-size-fits-all doesn't fit all.

To be honest, I respect my kids school and would never walk into Bais Faiga or Bais Kaila with a snood. But I would pick up child in one if I was staying in the car, and say, it was raining, or I was rushing that morning.....

Thank you for the update.
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amother
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Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:30 am
Bais Tova never officially changed the rules but so many mothers didn't listen that it wasn't worth it to fight the system. And most mothers know the rule so generally do wear a Shaitel the only time I pick up in a snood is if I'm home and I get a phone call ma I'm sick can you pick me up.

The same thing with bringing siblings to a performance years ago it was looked down upon the mother that brought a child but soon
More and more mothers started doing it that it became accepted to bring a younger child along. Not everyone has full time housekeeping help to watch their babies.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:36 am
amother wrote:
Bais Tova never officially changed the rules but so many mothers didn't listen that it wasn't worth it to fight the system. And most mothers know the rule so generally do wear a Shaitel the only time I pick up in a snood is if I'm home and I get a phone call ma I'm sick can you pick me up.

The same thing with bringing siblings to a performance years ago it was looked down upon the mother that brought a child but soon
More and more mothers started doing it that it became accepted to bring a younger child along. Not everyone has full time housekeeping help to watch their babies.


It's funny - I always felt so bad for my DD's when they did not have a baby that I could bring along to their performances. The kids so delight in seeing "their" baby at school. One DD is 7 years older than the next, so she was in 2nd grade by the time she had a baby sister at her performance. When she was in Primary, she complained to me that the only other kid in her class that is the youngest, is an aunt!

And my next DD has so far remained the youngest.....she has expressed many times how much she wished we had a baby to show off.....

I should've sent to Bais Tova, huh.

Truth is I would think alot of mothers in Lakewood work, and the baby is anyway at the sitter. Guess Bais Tova must have alot of SAHM's.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:07 am
amother wrote:
Chayelle you did not make up that rule but Bais Tova chilled out a little bit and became more realistic. Bais Tova 15 years ago did not allow mothers to come to school with a snood or sneakers. It was in their handbook but now it's known they don't let but they took it out of the handbook. They also used to not let mothers bring little babies to their child's school play but now they became more realistic and realized that mothers can't just drop their six month old baby over at people at 11 am just because their child has a school play.

Still a mother would never go out of the car in a snood but maybe they would pick up their child in a snood but they would stay in the car.


Bais Tovah is targeting a very specific demographic. 15 years ago, they wanted to clearly establish exactly the kind of school they are and what demographic they target. They definitely have an upscale, heimish, frequently Hungarian, roots in Boro Park crowd. That crowd as a whole can drift down a path that the Sanders don't want. So they made a lot of policies that were strictly enforced, thereby cementing the overall "avirah" of the school. 15 years later, it's pretty well cemented in place so they can afford to calm down a bit about all the policies.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:12 am
I'm embarrassed about it now...
I never gave a second though of going into any of my kid's school in a tichel.

Once we were at the start of a 9 hour drive and my kids weren't waiting outside so I went in to get them, spoke to the principal.
And other times as well.

I really never thought of it as disrespectful...
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:15 am
sky wrote:
I'm embarrassed about it now...
I never gave a second though of going into any of my kid's school in a tichel.

Once we were at the start of a 9 hour drive and my kids weren't waiting outside so I went in to get them, spoke to the principal.
And other times as well.

I really never thought of it as disrespectful...


It's not disrespectful, unless you send to a school that specifically prohibits it. I promise you there will be "old guard" lakewood mothers who come to Bais Shaindel or Bais Rivka Rochel PTA in a snood because it's "luxus" to wear a sheitel to anything other than a chassunah.

They're not talking about the standard mommy who is coming in a snood because she's in a rush - they're talking about that super-casual but expensive look - 650.00 Prada sneakers, designer sportswear, and a tichel to top it off.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:19 am
sky wrote:
I'm embarrassed about it now...
I never gave a second though of going into any of my kid's school in a tichel.

Once we were at the start of a 9 hour drive and my kids weren't waiting outside so I went in to get them, spoke to the principal.
And other times as well.

I really never thought of it as disrespectful...


Please! Meant no offense. It's my own personal feeling, not one I project to anyone else. You do however you feel comfortable.

I'm sure if my child wasn't waiting as expected and I was in a snood, I wouldn't go home for a wig and come back.....
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amother
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Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 12:38 pm
What Bais Tova actually wrote in the handbook and I am quoting because I don't have it in front of me is that we want our daughters to be bas Melech and if the mother is going around looking like a shmatte (and they didn't use the word I am paraphrasing but that's how I took the word to mean) then that's where the daughter is looking up to. Bais Tova doesn't want the harried kind of mom that's not the kind of mothers for the school that they are looking for.

And if I go to school in a snood and my kid doesn't come out then I will call the school and ask them to send my child out.

Once I picked my son up from yeshiva because he was sick and nurse called me when I was outside that he was throwing up so I should come in and I said I'm not really dressed I'll wait until he comes out. Now it was erev shabbos on a short Friday and I really wasn't dressed accordingly to see a menahel and rabbeim. And I think it's worse to come in and explain to everyone why you look the way yay so and my child was ten so really it wasn't like it was a three year old.
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