2 year old crying to go home

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Purple

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 10:39 am

Hi has anyone dealt with this before? My two year old just started this where he cries whenever we go to a place to go home. I sat at my sisters house for 45 minutes and I always hang out there and he did not stop crying.
Any advice? I can't have this continue. I hope it's just a phase

HonesttoGod

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 10:46 am

Could he be tired? Or not feeling well and just wants to be in his own place?

eta: my 2yo does this when he is bored ie when I go shopping or am talking to a friend, he kvetches that he wants to go home.

SingALong

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 11:07 am

We went to Inlaws for pesach for 2 weeks when ds was 2. He repeatedly asked to go home. He often asks to go home when we're out doing errands, shopping, driving, even on a fun trip etc. he just likes to be home.

I think it's natural for kids this age to identify home as an anchor place, stable, consistent, reliable, familiar. Even if they're in a different place that's familiar and they're happy, they just like to know their main comfortable place is still there for them.

amother

Purple

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 12:24 pm

Thanks for your responses.
No he was feeling fine. And its not kvetchy, he was crying. He wouldn't calm down. We went to my parents for Shabbos. He was not himself. He was crying and cranky.

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 12:36 pm

Around age 2, transitions become traumatic - whether from room to room, activity to activity, or place to place, especially if the transition is totally out of the toddler's control.

It might help to use plenty of advance notice ("We're going to Aunt Sarah's house after lunch." "It's lunchtime. We're going to Aunt Sarah's house after we finish eating." etc etc etc). Give him as much control as possible over when and where to go, and have him participate in the process (getting his coat, choosing mittens to wear, and so on). Also allow plenty of cuddle-and-adjustment time once you get there.

Is it possible that something bad happened there and he does not have the words to tell you? It could be something as simple as having the wrong brand of macaroni and cheese, or playing with a toy that made a weird noise last time.

amother

Peach

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 5:57 pm

When my 1.5 year old started at a new daycare, she did this. The change in her regular surroundings during the day made her totally intolerant to being anywhere but home, including her grandparents house which we went to every week, the gymboree she loved, etc.

I recommend asking your son (when he's calm) why - if he's not old enough or articulate enough to explain, then just drop it without pressuring him.

I also suggest that you offer him an incentive for being elsewhere - like "when we get to Savta's house, you can get 2 chocolate chips". See if it helps.

observer

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 6:03 pm

Has he recently started at a new playgroup? Have there been changes in his environment recently? Has he been with a new babysitter? Otherwise, could just be a phase.

amother

Purple

Mon, Nov 14 2016, 6:04 pm

No. nothing has changed. Same sitter and same everything. I haven't started playgroup yet. He turned 2 end of August

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