Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children
Do you ever hit your children?
1  2  3  4  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h



Do you ever hit your children?
No, never!  
 40%  [ 67 ]
On occasion, for discipline  
 55%  [ 91 ]
Yes, all the time  
 3%  [ 6 ]
Total Votes : 164



amother
Blue


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 4:30 pm
There was a lot of hitting in the home I grew up in. Today it seems that most people agree that it's unacceptable (although many still do it). What do others feel/do?
Back to top

amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 4:34 pm
Never - even though I have a bad temper thats one place I would never go. It will kill any emotional relationship u have. I talk to my kids and get to their level and that is so effective plus they have a great connection to me
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 4:35 pm
I did once when my preteen was a toddler. I don't even remember the circumstances anymore but I was very aggravated and I slapped him. Not hard, but hard enough that he cried either out of pain or shock. I felt terrible and resolved never to do so again. And I haven't.

How can we teach children not to hit each other or adults if we hit them as punishment? There are much better methods of discipline available that actually work instead of just scaring children into good behavior.
Back to top

Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 4:57 pm
I gave an occasional potch when my kids were little...and if I did it all over again I wouldn't. I've learned better, more effective skills since then.
Back to top

amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 5:51 pm
never.

and it's a terrible terrible thing to hit your kids out of anger. there is real strong things brought down in seforim about hitting your kids out of anger. So even those that do believe in potching, it's only an approach if you do it PURELY out of chinuch and NEVER when you are also angry about what they did. even if it's chinuch also, you can never hit when angry.

but as chayelle said, there are much better approaches and methods these days.
Back to top

Water Stones




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 6:28 pm
I got hit spanking from my father and dh got hit spanking from his father too. Not hard like abuse but I don't agree with that and our mothers don't too even that they let it. And I don't agree with it too. But dh says it's ok to do spanking. Our baby is only 9 months and of course he never hit her but I told him he can't ever hit our kids. He said ok and I hope he mean it ok because that will be big problem between us.

This is a good shidduch question when you dating serious for engagement.
Back to top

icebreaker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 7:08 pm
nope, not once.
Back to top

amother
Crimson


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 7:20 pm
No. I grew up in a home with a mother who was 100% opposed to hitting children. One time my father spanked me, I remember my mother coming home and finding out about it. She sent him packing and I honestly thought they might divorce (it seemed really dramatic to me at the time). So, no. Though I am very far from the perfect mother.
Back to top

amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 7:28 pm
I did not hit until my third was born. I lost it. Three was too much for me. I hit a number of times and quickly got myself into therapy. Once I was in therapy I had a place to vent and the hitting stopped.

I was hit as a child and it has impaired me in important ways. So I want to spare my children this experience.

I cry for all the children who are being hit by their parents. The pain goes very deep. It has lifelong impact in ways I am just beginning to know and be able to speak about.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 7:29 pm
Nope, never. And I don't have super easy kids either. But I simply don't believe it's right. Neither me nor my husband were ever hit either.
Back to top

amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:12 pm
Sometimes. I am not proud when I do. It usually doesn't hurt but it feels like a loss of control. If I ever really did lose it with a child I always apologize.
Back to top

amother
Slategray


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:12 pm
amother wrote:
I did not hit until my third was born. I lost it. Three was too much for me. I hit a number of times and quickly got myself into therapy. Once I was in therapy I had a place to vent and the hitting stopped.

I was hit as a child and it has impaired me in important ways. So I want to spare my children this experience.

I cry for all the children who are being hit by their parents. The pain goes very deep. It has lifelong impact in ways I am just beginning to know and be able to speak about.


Can you give some examples? Doesn't have to be your personal experience..... just to educate
Back to top

amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:27 pm
I used to hit my oldest once in a while, but then signed up to parenting classes and put a full stop to that.
My daughter probably doesn't remember but I do and I cry when I think if it. I can't forgive myself, especially that I can't say it sometimes wasn't out of anger and frustration. I haven't hit since.
Back to top

amother
Gold


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:28 pm
I know some people who say they wud never hit their child but they pinch their children instead. Is that better?
Back to top

amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:32 pm
Pinching because you love your kid and think they are cute is not the same as hitting out of anger. But yeah, if you know your kid doesn't like it don't do it.
Back to top

amother
Gold


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:38 pm
amother wrote:
Pinching because you love your kid and think they are cute is not the same as hitting out of anger. But yeah, if you know your kid doesn't like it don't do it.


I don't mean pinching cute cheeks. Rather pinching on the arm, legs, etc which basically functions the same as hitting but in a more discreet manner.
Back to top

pizza4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:39 pm
amother wrote:
I know some people who say they wud never hit their child but they pinch their children instead. Is that better?


That is much worse. I don't potch. But I wouldn't be as horrified seeing a parent giving a small potch for discipline as seeing a parent pinch! shock
I HAD a friend who would do to the child as the child did. Child hit? Mother gives small potch to the child. Child kicked? Mother gives small kick. I was shock it wasn't the only thing we didn't see eye to eye on.
To the parents like this- grow up....
Back to top

amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:44 pm
amother wrote:
I don't mean pinching cute cheeks. Rather pinching on the arm, legs, etc which basically functions the same as hitting but in a more discreet manner.


Oh my! So much worse. To me that appears like a whole other leval of anger.
Back to top

amother
Turquoise


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:50 pm
I used to give a potch sometimes. Then I had a small playgroup and one time a kid was misbehaving terribly and I was fed up and exhausted. I am embarrassed and never admitted this to anyone till now, anonymously. I gave her a potch. I was horrified at what I did and gave the child a big hug and that day I quit.
Back to top

amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Mon, Nov 14 2016, 8:50 pm
amother wrote:
Oh my! So much worse. To me that appears like a whole other leval of anger.


Ouch. Pinching hurts! I wish parents would find another way to vent.
Back to top
Page 1 of 4 1  2  3  4  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Questions for published children books authors
by amother
2 Today at 9:23 am View last post
How to teach children not to talk to strangers
by amother
4 Yesterday at 3:49 pm View last post
Please don't bring babies or young children to megillah
by dena613
166 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:43 pm View last post
Please hit me with your best DIET recipes
by amother
26 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 3:43 pm View last post
Any awesome instagram accts for moms of autistic children?
by amother
5 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 1:26 pm View last post