How old is too old to be at babysitter?

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 12:08 am

Debating if I can send my daughter to babysitter next year or if she needs to go to playgroup. She will be turning 2 towards the end of this year. Most people I know send their kids to a 2 year old playgroup, but she is happy at her babysitter, and there are a few other kids there.. Do u think she will be too old to be at a babysitter next year? It's ded more convenient for me, but want to do what's best for her..

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 12:18 am

Can you try playgroup for a week or two, and see which one she's more comfortable with? Really, it depends on the kid's personality, if they are shy or outgoing, if they're OK with change, with lots of loud kids, structure, etc. If you really trust your babysitter, it's a tough choice to switch to an unknown group.

pizza4

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 12:34 am

It really depends on the child. If he's happy at the babysitter and it works better for you, maybe wait a bit. I regret sending my very sensitive child to playgroup too early, (after 2)but my independent child went even faster to playgroup and loved the stimulation.(before 2)

salt

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 1:49 am

My DD went to a babysitter till she started gan at age 3. The last half a year, she was together with her younger sibling. The babysitter did take care of another couple of kids here and there, so she had other kids to play with too, but they were not her age, and the babysitter didn't have a structured routine like in a playgroup.
It was so convenient for me, especially when my 2 kids were together.
And she was fine when she went to gan at age 3.

So I say, yes, she's fine at a babysitter.

imasinger

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 8:38 am

It depends.

On the babysitter, on the age and number of other kids she has, on your DD. On what the other families with kids her age and stage are doing.

On the reasons you have for wanting to keep her there.

My rule in life is that the single most important thing I do is raise my children. Their health and well being comes first.

So, if putting a child with a 2 year old group would somehow affect the family, I might hesitate. Say, if I'd risk my job somehow, or it would be a greater stress on another kid in the family for some reason. But if it's merely a matter of my convenience, I'd do what's best for the child. Which might be to put her with peers. A sitter who generally has infants is probably not going to be the best environment for a toddler. Or for the other infants there.

Last edited by imasinger on Tue, Nov 15 2016, 9:20 am; edited 1 time in total

Chayalle

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 8:43 am

It depends on the child's personality. One of my DD's was the type that enjoyed playing with various toys, self-leading, not needing structure...another DD was getting restless, and getting into mischief more, and I saw a difference when she started playgroup - she thrived from the activities offered, like playdough and gluing and finger-painting....also the exposure to learning colors, number concepts, and even introductory reading is important for some kids. One of my kids was reading by the time she was 4 - she picked up aleph bais and ABC in playgroup of 2 and 3 year olds, and then connected the dots and started reading in kindergarten.

5*Mom

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 8:47 am

imasinger wrote:

I'd do what's best for the child. Which would be to put her with peers. A sitter who generally has infants is probably not going to be the best environment for a toddler. Or for the other infants there.

I disagree. It is far better for children's development to be in mixed age groups where they can be nurtured by adults (and older children, if there are any) and in turn learn how to nurture the younger children. Yes, even at 2. If the babysitter is nurturing and pays attention to your child as well as the other children, and she is happy and not bored, I wouldn't even think of moving her to a playgroup. We do not learn social skills from equally unskilled peers. Especially at 2.

lfab

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 8:55 am

Depends on the babysitter and the ages of the other children in the group that year. My first 3 kids I sent to a 2 year old playgroup. My DD who turned 2 this summer is still at her babysitter (used the same babysitter for all of them). With my other kids the group that she was going to have the year they were 2 was comprised mostly of infants and my kids were on the older end as their birthdays were early in the year (February, etc.). With my current toddler there were 3 other kids who were turning 2 who were also staying (as well as a few infants) so I was ok with her staying there as she's have other kids her age to interact with. The other aspect is the babysitter herself and how she runs the group. She does stuff with the group of toddlers the same as they would do in a playgroup. She does circle time and davening with them every morning. She makes projects with them for the yomim tovim (they made a shofar and honey dish for rosh hashana etc.). She does shabbos party on Fridays, etc. So even though it's somewhat less structured than an actual playgroup would be she's getting enough from it that it was worth keeping her there. However, if the babysitter you're using is strictly babysitting than I would send a 2 year old to a real playgroup.

imasinger

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 8:58 am

5*Mom wrote:

I agree with you in theory, but am seeing a cultural element at play that you might not be aware of. I'm picturing the OP as being in a setting like Lakewood, where such groups are common, and divided by age. (Hence her mentioning a 2 year old group).

A sitter who worked primarily with infants would not be providing a mixed age group you are describing, but rather, a carefully organized and somewhat rigid setup geared for younger infants. It would be less common to find a family home daycare setup such as you describe.

Certain hours for naptime that might not mesh with a toddler's schedule, possibly little space for moving around or fewer toys for toddler style exploration, maybe less patience or comfort on the caregiver's part with handling toddler tantrums or issues.

5*Mom

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 9:19 am

imasinger wrote:

Sure, there might be specific factors at the babysitter that wold impact on whether *this* specific setting is the right thing for this child at this time. OP didn't give enough information to know any of those things. In your pp you made a very general statement that what's best for the child is to put her with her peers. I very much disagree that it is best for 2 yr olds to be with their peers. If OP's dd is happy and nurtured where she is then continuity of loving care would undoubtedly be best for both her short- and long-term development.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 12:47 pm

Op here.
So as of now there wud be two other children around her age (give or take a few months). Babysitter is very nurturing and loving, but not doing structured activities. It's more like a home setting. Napping they do at same time, and maybe eating too but the rest of day is playing with toys, sweeping w a mini broom while the babysitter sweeps, she will put in music and they dance around the kitchen, they ask for food, she gives them as needed, so not like structures scheduled, more like she talks to them a lot, will sit on floor with them, give them hugs, wipe their noses etc.

gibberish

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 1:28 pm

I didn't read all the replies, but it really depends on the child.

My first child started getting bored and outgrew babysitting around 2 years old. He was miserable so we moved him over to a playgroup.

My second THRIVED at the babysitter. He did better with a small group, less structure, and lots of individual attention. He remained there until about 2.5. It was a really good fit for him

Just keep in mind that your child will probably do better at the babysitter if there is someone close enough in age for her to interact with.

I would suggest to keep her at the babysitter until you feel that she is outgrowing it and needs something more. You can usually find a preschool/playgroup that will take a child mid-year.

Good luck!

amother

cornflower

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 2:14 pm

amother wrote:

I think it is totally fine, I would make sure that those other 2 children will be there next year for sure (talk to the mothers?)).

sky

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 2:18 pm

3 or 4. - depends on the kid really. How old is too old for a kid to be home with their mother?

one my children I left by the babysitter until she was 3. She was a laid back kid and would not have done well with the structure of a group. Kids at that age just need free play and an adjustable schedule, they don't need to eat, sleep, and sit when the rest are.
She was the oldest by the babysitter, there was another kid around her age and the rest were babies.
The babysitter was really warm and a second mother to her and let her make the schedule. Looking back it was really the best place for her. When she went to 3 year old playgroup she did just fine.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Nov 15 2016, 2:21 pm

amother wrote:

I think it is totally fine, I would make sure that those other 2 children will be there next year for sure (talk to the mothers?)).

They will be there. It's possible another baby will join, but as of now this is the plan.