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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

School wants contract

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lubmommy

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 11:08 pm

My 13 year old dd is about to begin 8th grade - last year was her first year in a new school. She did not do very well. I think her problem is more of a low self esteem/laziness/rebellious type. She really is a very talented, bright girl but had too many bad experiences in her previous school which lead to attitude issues.
The summer was so pleasant without all the attitude. Very Happy

She was in camp for 1/2 the summer and that was great. With the approach of school and talk of the new year some of the attitude is coming out again. Sad

She did have some private lessons in camp at the insistance of her principal. The learning director said her teacher wondered why the principal was so insistant since she was very knowledgable and smart.
Tomorrow we are having a meeting with the school counselor, assistant principal, my dd and myself. They want her to take more responsibility this year and mentioned having her sign a contract. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? My dh is very wary of this! My dd is upset too.

MrsLeo

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 11:46 pm

When I was in High School we all had to sign a "contract" that we will follow the rules of the school.

ILOVELIFE

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 11:57 pm

it's a common practice in many schools today

lubmommy

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 11:57 pm

It's not a contract about following the rules of the school. I think they want her to sign a contract about doing her homework and other things related to her taking responsibility for her progress this year.

chen

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:07 am

That's the latest shtick and I don't believe it has actual legal ramifications. However, you should check it out and make sure they don't say s/t like if she doesn't do her hw three times she'll be expelled. The theory is that if the chid signs a contract she will take things more seriously. Plus, if she claims "you never told me I have to ______ " "or I never said I wouldn't _________". it's right there in writing.

lubmommy

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:24 am

Thanks, Chen. I understand the theory I just hope it doesn't backfire.

southernbubby

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:51 am

It sounds like the school administration is being pro-active in trying to help her have a successful year. Rather than be suspicious of them, try to be on their side.

ChavieK

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 8:05 am

In addition to what Chen said, I think they also want her to feel that she is part of what is happening.Even though she has certain rules to follow, she has an opportunity to discuss with them any issues.If you talk about it in a positive way,she will hopefuly see it that way too.

Ruchel

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 9:18 am

MrsLeo wrote:

When I was in High School we all had to sign a "contract" that we will follow the rules of the school.

yeah, same

I never signed it, out of rebelliousness Rolling Eyes

But I followed the rules, and they never noticed

TammyTammy

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:11 pm

lubmommy8 wrote:

This is not a bad thing. It reinforces to the kid that they actually have to be responsible for the work they produce. Unless the contract is totally ridiculous (I.e. "If you miss a homework we will decapitate you"), I'm totally in favor of such things.

Tammy

chocolate moose

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:20 pm

oh, sure. it's common and has been for years already.

amother

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:29 pm

I had to sign a contract in 7th grade and everytime I didnt follow something it said. they would pull it out and say you signed you werent going to do xyz. It did not effect me though in any negative ways

rosehill

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:34 pm

Are you signatories on the contract, or just your daughter? If you are, feel free to add clauses about what the SCHOOL will do for YOU, and what your recourse is if they don't live up to their part of the bargain.
If only dd signs, she'll have to be more gentle in making demands, out of respect, but she can certainly offer suggestions of what she feels the school owes her in this deal.

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