Schools and Siblings

TammyTammy

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 12:49 pm

I heard two stories about schools that I thought I would share. I found these stories troubling and am wondering if this is a trend or something new. I heard both stories directly from the people involved.

The first story involves an seventh grader I know. Last year, she attended a regular girl's yeshiva in Brooklyn. One day, the principal calls her into the office.

"Esti," he began " I have a question for you. Why isn't your sister attending this yeshiva?"

Now, this might have been a question that Esti could answer, except for one small detail... while she had several brothers, Esti is the only girl in her family. She tried explaining this to the principal, but to no avail. He was certain that there was another girl in the family and that she was attending some other school. For a while he kept pressuring her about the matter until she was finally able to get her parents to call the principal and inform him that he must be confusing their family with a different one.

End of story 1.

Story 2 is similar. It involves parents who actually *do* have two daughters. The elder daughter was attending a school (not the same school as above) and it came time to enroll the younger daughter. For whatever reason, the parents felt that the younger daughter would be better served in a different school and enrolled her there. When the administration of the first school found out that the younger daughter wouldn't be attending, they tried to pressure the parents into enrolling her in their school. In the end, they told the parents "We accept families at this school, not individuals from families." The matter, as far as I know, is still unresolved.

I have several problems here. In the first story, I don't know why the principal is putting pressure on Esti. Even if her sister did exist, she would have no control over where she was enrolled - that's strictly a parental decision. But that's peripheral to the issue I really wanted to bring up.

The real issue is this -- does a school have a right to expect that the entire family (or all the kids of that gender, obviously) will attend that school? If I enroll my older son in a school, does that mean that they have the right to expect my younger son? Or the next one (which I don't have yet, but just to make the point)? Sure, there is something to be said for having all the kids go to the same place. But as parents, we have to make sure to send our kids to schools that will best serve them. Just because school X might be a fantastic school for one kid, it doesn't necessarily follow that it will be similarly fantastic for the next one. Every kid, even kids within the same family, are different, and it's our responsibility as parents to find the right school for him or her. Putting a kid in the wrong school simply because another family member attends is just plain wrong and destructive.

Where do schools get the hubris to think that they are entitled to all the kids of a family?

Tammy

Last edited by TammyTammy on Sun, Sep 02 2007, 9:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

Sue DaNym

Fri, Aug 31 2007, 3:51 pm

the school is a privt institution and can make any rules they want. if they want to make it that all your kids go there, they can. if you dont like it, take it your kids out.

Sue DaNym

Mon, Sep 03 2007, 8:30 pm

ok I was giving this some thought. I think that the school does have the right to expect all thekids from the family will attend. if not it looks like a slap to the face for the school.

would you use two different doctors for your kids? no... you use the same one for the whole family. so I think the school was right to ask you to send your kids to the smae school

(and I suspect that you are your "friends" dont think I didnt notice that you changed the name in the post to hide your identity. it wasnt esti when you first posted it)

cindy324

Mon, Nov 19 2007, 10:46 pm

Tammy , meet Sue...Sue, meet Tammy...

What? You already know each other? You ARE each other??

Hope you had a great discussion with yourself!

What a hoot LOL

mali

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 4:20 am

OMG, lololol LOL

Someone must've been very bored Rolling Eyes

TzenaRena

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 4:27 am

Anyone feel like Sue ing both of them? LOL

technic

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 5:05 am

maidale

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 5:08 am

Oh yeah, how AMUSING!!! Rolling Eyes

suomynona

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 5:25 am

What a riot.
She/he must have been disappointed that no one else took the bait.

Ima'la

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:44 am

and I suspect that you are your "friends" dont think I didnt notice that you changed the name in the post to hide your identity. it wasnt esti when you first posted it)

this is the part I find most amusing! was tammynym trying to drop us a hint?

happy2beme

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 11:09 am

oh my- I think their posts are going to be the most searched ones on this site for days.
I know I'm gonna be searching for awhile just to see what happened! I never even saw sue's posts b4!!! why does everything always happen on the busiest work weeks?!?!

miriam

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 1:45 pm

cindy324 wrote:

Tammy , meet Sue...Sue, meet Tammy...

What? You already know each other? You ARE each other??

Hope you had a great discussion with yourself!

What a hoot LOL

I didn't see the date on this post right away. I thought, wow, cindy cracked the case before it even happened!!!

cindy324

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 2:38 pm

Riiigght...thanks for the vote of confidence miriam, but my last name is NOT Holmes LOL

gryp

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 2:39 pm

cindy, I made the same mistake as Miriam. Smile