Letting toddler watch videos

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Blush

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 10:32 am

Do you let your baby/toddler watch videos on the computer/tv? Why or why not?

pesek zman

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 10:55 am

Only when I'm desperate: 15 minutes before Shabbos, when she's home sick from school etc

amother

White

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 10:57 am

At some point around when she turned 1, yes- though I try to keep it to a minimum and only with me or dh. She loves watching orchestras play classical music on Youtube- I point out the conductor and the instruments I know. I try to stay away from anything with speaking. Recently we watched part of Swan Lake (the ballet, not the animated movie) and she got a real kick out of dancing "ballet" with mommy in the living room.

amother

Denim

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 11:01 am

In theory, I'm against it. In practice, I do it.

I don't think toddlers should be sitting in front of a screen, in general, and definitely not for extended periods of time. But if my older kids are watching a video, I'm not shooing them away. And I do give them short videos to watch. I prefer giving them home videos - or even putting home photos on a slideshow - as there's less stimulation and more familiarity.

I mostly do it Friday afternoons. And other occasions. LOL

gp2.0

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 11:11 am

No computer or TV for the most part* but I'm a big fan of getting little kids their own devices rather than letting them play with mommy or daddy's phone and watch YouTube.

On their own device I control all the content and even limit their screen time. They know they can play with their kindles and when times up, that's it. I don't have to be afraid that they'll mistakenly click on something inappropriate on YouTube or a whatsapp group, and they don't beg me for my phone all day long like they used to.

It also motivates them to get up early in the morning and get dressed and ready in five minutes instead of whining and wasting time.

My kids are not babies now but I let them watch as babies too and I don't think it's a big deal. As long as they still get plenty of interaction with other people and activities, TV time hasn't been proven to do any harm.

*I'm not a fan of TV for anyone, adults or kids, but that's a different topic. It's not that I'm against watching TV, I'm against mindlessly watching whatever is on just because it's on even though normally you wouldn't choose to watch it.

amother

Yellow

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 2:47 pm

I do when needed - Fridays or when the kid is sick or when I'm sick, or occasionally just when I'm super busy or when I need a break. But, I only allow educational shows that teach them something (mainly blue's clues and mr. rogers in our house). We don't have a television, they watch on the computer whlie they are strapped into a high chair or booster seat with a toy or meal - this way, I put on one show, they can't adjust it or anything else. I prefer to watch with her, but this realistically doesn't usually happen.

Queen6

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 7:39 pm

Children in front of a screen is SO unhealthy. It does not matter what they are watching it's the concept of watching and staring. It will turn their brains to mush. Find a project, give them crayons, buy new toys... do whatever it takes. Get them away from the screen!

gp2.0

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 7:50 pm

Queen6 wrote:

There is no proof of this whatsoever. Millions of people stare at screens all day and their brains don't turn to mush as a result.

ectomorph

Wed, Nov 23 2016, 8:49 pm

[quote="amother"]In theory, I'm against it. In practice, I do it.
That.

I'm a big believer in whatever gets me through the day.

My mom is always horrified that I let my toddler see videos. The difference is, she worked full time and had me in daycare,a any father stayed home. I don't have any help, live far away from family, am a sahm, and my husband works all the time.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 5:00 am

The cult ladies who say it turns the brain to mush probably watched too many videos LOL

shooting star

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 11:31 am

I'm not happy about it but I allow it for about 30 min before dinner and 30 min after dinner.

Hubby is usually too tired then to play with our 3 year old and 18 month old. I'm in the kitchen so not really able to occupy them much and if the TV is off they usually end up running around in the kitchen when I'm cooking or cleaning up after dinner.

I try to limit to more educational type shows but the do end up watching a lot of pixar movies. Like cars. Lots and lots of cars. Cars cars cars. lol

Sundays I think they watch too much TV/movies since its there and I'm typically cleaning in the morning. I accept it mostly because of SB. As the kids get older I will likely limit it more on Sundays.

I don't think its horrible but I also don't think it's ideal. Also some kids like to sit and play/colour/etc. while others will decorate your walls with crayons while running around and hiding toys in your shoes. shock

amother

Teal

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 2:50 pm

no I dont.

I dont think it turns brain into mush- or at least idont think everyone who watches screens has mushy brains Wink

but I do believe it becomes a habit VERY easily, and I dont want my toddlers to become schoolkids/teenagers/young adults who have the habit to relax/distract themselves from boredom or procrastinate by watching screens - instead I want my toddler to become accustomed to finding a different solution.

I dont mind my kids to do research or studying with a pc (if I know which programms/websites they use)- but that IMHO is NOT the same as watching videos stam.

maybe im wrong but I believe that I do see a difference in the abilitiy to maintain attention during class between children who regularily consume videos and videogames versus children that dont (I teach . thats my job).

again, thats just my opinion/ intuition - no statistics/scientific research...

amother

Lime

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 2:58 pm

amother wrote:

no I dont.

I dont think it turns brain into mush- or at least idont think everyone who watches screens has mushy brains Wink

How would you know which kids regularly watch videos or games and how long they spend watching? You can't possibly know what each kids does out of school. I've heard other educators make the same claim but I really don't understand how you could actually know what goes on outside if school.

yidisheh mama

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 3:12 pm

I don't like to, and I know it's not the greatest thing to do, but occasionally when I'm desperate I do. Like whet my toddler was home sick for a few days and I needed 20 minutes to do something, or early in my pregnancy when I was feeling so horrible from the nausea and migraine headaches, and sometimes just needed a half hour where I'm not gonna be bothered.

MrsDash

Thu, Nov 24 2016, 3:21 pm

Queen6 wrote:

Thanks for the laugh! Don't you think if the kids would be content with crayons and toys, parents would be needing the tv/computer? Many parents do it for THEM and THEIR sanity. Some of us don't have help. Some of us have very challenging children. Some need just a moment of quietness/peace for various reasons to prevent mom and dads brains from turning to "mush."

Then we get the response, "well then what did parents do BEFORE these devices?"

First of all, TVs have been of popular home use since the 1940s.

Second, you can say the same thing about, well, pretty much anything. Metal sharp toys, no car seats, the lack of yeshivas and other frum school choices, etc, etc.

While people made do with what they had, it doesn't mean it was ideal. Parents had to cope in other ways drinking, smoking, plopping their toddlers outside while mom or dad went inside, they screamed, they were medicated, had hired help, etc.

Are there Carol Bradys out there who keep their cool, and have easy going kids? Yes! But they are few and far apart.

amother

Teal

Fri, Nov 25 2016, 4:20 am

"How would you know which kids regularly watch videos or games and how long they spend watching? You can't possibly know what each kids does out of school. I've heard other educators make the same claim but I really don't understand how you could actually know what goes on outside if school."

Well in my class (28 children) I know EVERY parent, we talk A LOT on regular basis.
children with ADHS or other testings have even more detailled interviews wth the parents.
I am super transparent ie communication about what happens in school is in my eyes currcuial- hence I really have a good kesher and parents open up. Obviously I dont judge them so they are mostly very open- NO I HAVE NPO GUARANTEE THAT WHAT THEY SAY IS THE TRUTH; BUT I DONT ASSUME THAT THEY LIE.
Plus: We have media education- children keep a media diary (yes results may not represent reality 1:1- but we get a general picture- If had this class for 4 years now).

Why would you think a teacher can not have access to this info???

I known which child has his own tablet, internet access etc. I know which children watch approx.30 minutes at night supervised by their parents and which families dont own tvs...

IN GENERAL the families without TV offer other / more freetime occupations (toys, games, courses, more family time etc).

YES there are brilliant kids with excellent results who wtach videos- I dont argue about that. But I doubt that videos helped them to achieve their level. If anything for some easwy distractable kids it MAY harm them.
Look Im not judging, every parent should do what is good for them. If I had a super difficult child, zero help and keeping my sanity would depend on putting my toddler in front of a screen- if thats the lesser harm, id totally go for it.

But I dont think it is in any way educationally or developmentally beneficial. MHO

Coffee Addict

Fri, Nov 25 2016, 10:16 am

I hate it, but it's my lifesaver sometimes. That's life, just to bad.

I let watch Friday afternoon, lazy Sundays, and when a kid is sick home. Otherwise I try to avoid it.

Fri, Nov 25 2016, 10:38 am

No problem with videos here. It may be significant that I had a toddler before tablets existed, and it was easier to set normal limits on screen time (although some parents seemed to set no limits).

We found there were shows available on TV and video (on VHS!) that were age appropriate and wholesome. Some were truly educational, especially foreign language videos. We avoided all shows depicting unacceptable (to us) behavior, even if they were intended for children.

No, we did not have the screen on all day. No, she did not become addicted. She learned to read early and actually preferred reading to TV. She did lots of crafts and other activities...and enjoyed Clifford and Teletubbies. No guilt!

All this pretty much describes my own and my husband's upbringing in the 1970's as well. Everyone had TV. There were fewer viewing choices, but parents still had to decide what was best for their children. We saw some suitable shows, enjoyed them, sometimes learned from them, and let mom rest for a bit. We turned out literate and well-educated. Really, it's ok.

Volunteer

Fri, Nov 25 2016, 10:50 am

Here is what I have learned about toddlers and screen media:

The AAP recommends no screen time at all for children 2 and under. Yeah. They realize that it may not be realistic, but they are making a statement that it should be limited.

Educational TV for young children (such as Sesame Street) was developed to close the preparedness gap between high and low socio-economic strata children. As good as Sesame Street was, it did not achieve that goal overall. Watching TV had some benefit for some children. Specifically, those children who otherwise would be lacking stimulation or exposed to negative home situations/ family dynamics. Children 5 and older seem to get the most out of Sesame Street.

Language is a social construct, and as such, children learn language skills best in direct interaction with a live person. Even though young children believe that what is on the TV is real, since it's so passive, they don't really pick up the skills from it that they would pick up from a live interaction. Same with math, spacial, and other skills.

Very young children seem not to understand stories presented in videos as well as from real life or print media. When the scene changes, or even the camera angle changes, toddlers don't automatically assume continuity in the sequence of events, and instead consider the new scene as a completely separate story. This is unlike a book, where there is a physical beginning, middle, and end, and the act of turning the pages is a sensori-motor cue for sequencing the events. The scenes in a short story book are all physically connected by the binding. So although they are entertained by these childrens ' videos, they don't necessarily understand them to the extent we might assume.

There is also some speculation that continuously exposing your child to fast-paced changing action on video shortens their attention span and trains them to expect fast-paced, constantly changing activity in life.

The main issue with screen time is that it displaces creative and interactive play. There are some parents and caretakers that park their kids in front of a screen for long periods so they don't have to deal with them. They sit there like lobotomized lab monkeys watching the images flash accross the screen. I doubt anybody reading this thread is one of those people. Anything taken to extremes is bad.

The way we use videos can be a determine the effect it has. For example, there is a world of difference between using the TV as an electronic babysitter, and using it as an activity you do with your children. I love the idea that amother had about watching ballet with her daughter, then dancing around the room. She watched a simple "kosher" show with a life-like pace, and few camera angles, watched it together, talked about it, and used it as a basis for play.

It's also different when TV is on in the background while the child plays. The effects of TV are attenuated by the fact that they are not really watching it much. It still goes without saying that shows with violence (fighting, shouting, crying) and degrading s-xual imagery are detrimental. I have read that the best shows to have on are low-action life-like shows such as cooking shows, talk shows, wildlife docs (though some kids may be afraid of the predation scenes), science docs, and so on.

Look, virtually all children see some video media. The big question is, at what point does screen time become excessive? I think that as long as you use some common sense, your kids will be ok.

Wow, that was a long post.

tigerwife

Fri, Nov 25 2016, 11:21 am

Fascinating post, Volunteer.

I think the posters who will yell 'Don't do it!! It's terrible!!' probably have not grown up watching any TV. Those who have grown up with screen time will not appreciate the reference to their 'mushy brains'.

I think the majority of us would love to give our children 100% full attention and play wonderful games and wholesome activities during every every waking hour, but sadly, it isn't feasible. Look at how many posters wrote 'I do it, but I don't like it- I need my sanity, too.' I think everything has its time and place. I really dislike when my toddler asks to watch, but on the other hand I don't think it's totally passive- she has learned plenty of new songs and ideas from it. There are also so many Jewish DVDs out there today (Mitzvah Boulevard was great).

I don't believe screen time negates creativity at all unless the child only watched and doesn't have time for anything else. Of course, I know kids who are addicted to watching and it is terrible. However, I wonder if it is a learned behavior or comes from some aspect of personality.

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