Wearing pants at home

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Denim

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 9:51 pm

Hey everyone,
my daughter is 14 and she has no problem with tzinius...She doesn't wear tight or short things...No problem! She's well behaved BH and we aren't worried..However, she likes to sleep in pajama pants and a tshirt, which is fine..However, she often comes out of her room dressed like this, nothing too promiscuous, baggy pants and a tshirt...Thoughts? She has an older brother. She'd never go out like this.

MitzadSheini

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 9:53 pm

My thought is leave her be. Don't make a kasher where there isn't one.

But it is just my thought.

PS your colour is Denim. As in jeans as in pants as in don't worry about it.

Rutabaga

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:07 pm

I don't see the problem, but maybe I come from different circles than you. I still walk around like that in the privacy of my own home before I have time to get dressed in the morning or after my shower at night.

You can ask her to throw on a robe or a skirt and sweatshirt over her pajamas if it bothers you. Don't make it about her brother or she might resent him or men in general for the rules of tznius when that should not be the focus.

Figure out where you want to draw the line. Can she go to the bathroom in her pajamas but not walk around the house in them? Can she walk around in her pajamas upstairs where there is more privacy but not downstairs which is more public?

If she puts up a fuss, is it worth fighting about? If she has no problem dressing properly for your circles when outside your house maybe she just wants to be comfortable at home. If that's the case then maybe you can compromise on some clothing she can wear around the house that is more casual then she would normally wear in public. But if her issue is that she finds it annoying to have to change in order to go to the bathroom then maybe cut her some slack and leave it alone.

oliveoil

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:08 pm

so she's walking around her own house in pjs? what exactly is the issue?

dancingqueen

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:13 pm

What could be the problem with her brother seeing her like that?

deams

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:18 pm

Buy or go with her to buy some knee length comfy skirts to put on when she leaves the room. She may have never thought of putting a skirt on over her pjs. Once it's mentioned it will give her food for thought.

sequoia

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:19 pm

Baggy pants sound fine... better than pencil skirts, anyway.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 10:51 pm

I would feel really resentful if I was told that I can't walk around my home in pajamas. Halachic ally there is zero issue with her brother seeing her like that. Please leave her be. Be happy that you have such a wonderful daughter.

rachel6543

Mon, Nov 28 2016, 11:29 pm

I live in PJ pants and T-shirts at home. The moment I get home from work (if I'm not going out again), I immediately change into PJs. So, I personally don't see any issues with how your daughter is dressing in the privacy of her home.

essie14

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 1:11 am

rachel6543 wrote:

Our whole family dresses in PJs at home. That's what home is for, to be comfortable. If my parents would have made me wear skirts at home when I was a teenager I would have run away from home. I seriously have never heard of such a thing. No one wears anything inappropriate. We're all in baggy t's and pants.

MagentaYenta

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 1:31 am

Living in the PNW we were in sweats after coming home. But a skirt at home, I'd never be able to handle it.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:23 am

Sounds exactly like my DD. She likes to sit on the floor in her room, and the skirt gets tangled around her legs and annoys her. We have a strict rule that skirts and long sleeves MUST be worn outside of the house, and if someone comes to the door, she goes to her room. Otherwise, I leave her alone. G-d willing, this should be the worst of our problems.

I wear soft, stretchy skirts, which feel like PJs to me. If I'm cold, I'll wear PJ pants underneath my skirt. I feel like I set a good example, but at the same time, I'm finding a good balance with her.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:26 am

MagentaYenta wrote:

Living in the PNW we were in sweats after coming home. But a skirt at home, I'd never be able to handle it.

I cant for the life of me figure out what this stands for.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:34 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I cant for the life of me figure out what this stands for.

Pacific Northwest. Oregon and Washington State. Don't feel bad because you couldn't figure it out. I only know this because I used to live in Seattle, WA.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:50 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Pacific Northwest. Oregon and Washington State. Don't feel bad because you couldn't figure it out. I only know this because I used to live in Seattle, WA.

Thank you. Now her post makes even more sense Smile

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