Too much therapy? | Imamother

amother

Salmon

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 12:37 pm

My 5 year old has what used to be called Aspergers and also ADD (no H, he's not hyperactive). He is doing well academically but needs a lot of support for his social skills and general classroom demeanor. The school works with him and his therapists and it's been working pretty well. Some further therapy was recommended for social stuff. A para now comes to school with him for 3 hours a day. Ever since that started, his behavior has gotten worse, both at school and home. At home, He tantrums when he never used to tantrum and bothers siblings when he didn't used to, and is defiant to us when he didn't used to be; at school, after the para leaves, he acts silly and disruptive when before he usually just didn't pay attention. This was supposed to make things easier, not harder! The para has only been there about 3 weeks, so it's still new. Is this a case of things get worse before they get better or is it possible that we tinkered too much with the therapy?

octopus

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 2:25 pm

He probably works really hard during those three hours! It's probably exhausting him. I wouldn't get rid of para so fast. I would definitely give it more time.

imasinger

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 3:31 pm

Do you think the para is good?

Who supervises?

Maybe that person needs to lighten up a little.

Sit in on the session, and see if you can pinpoint the problems.

amother

Amber

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 3:45 pm

It could be many different things. Maybe the para is a little abusive. Check into it , if theres a problem you can always find other paras. It doesnt mean that the para IS abusive. Its a maybe. Good luck!

amother

Salmon

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 4:11 pm

The para comes to my home too. She seems perfectly nice, and my son loves her, though she's very young, so maybe a bit inexperienced. I could see if maybe I sit in on class one day. I brought up the issue with the paras supervisor. She's going to see if any adjustments need to be made or maybe it's just not a shidduch. I spoke to his other therapists and the morahs and everyone has a different idea why- one says sometimes in the beginning things get worse before they get better, another says he's having trouble transitioning from the special attention to not getting the special attention, another says he's just worn out from a long day that's taxing for even neurotypical kids, al achas kama vkama for kids who are not. All seem very plausible, but it still worries me. I just want him to get all the things he needs to succeed.

sourstix

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 4:15 pm

can you ask your child what he likes about this para? and see if he answers in a exciting type of way or just see his reaction? you might be suprized to see what young children come up with. im not saying you should go for his word. but maybe listen to him. and sit in maybe you can see what is bothering him.

being young doesnt always mean inexperienced. maybe she is. there is a difference. I dont have experience with this but just giving you my opinion.

im also going to disagree here on whoever said things get worse before they get better. if its a good shidduch then it should work and it should be posiitvie. if its not a good shiduch then it will not get better. just my experience.

octopus

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 4:37 pm

You mentioned your child is on spectrum.The paras that work with those kinds of children are usually aba trained? If so, maybe the whole aba thing is intense for him. If you met the para, she is coming to your home, and you see she is okay, most likely she is okay. Your child is not misbehaving WITH the para. He is misbehaving after the para. I will reiterate again, he is probably managing his behaviors for three hours straight, it's HARD to manage behavior if you never really did it before, and this is the offshoot of that. Hopefully there will be a carryover in the near future.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 4:50 pm

Octopus, can you explain a little more? The vast majority of the time she's there is in the classroom (he gets pulled out for 30 minutes). So I get he's working hard, but what is he doing beyond whatever is being done in class? Also he's supposed to be learning skills that he can use when she's not there. So it does make sense that right now these skills are new so he can't use them on his own yet, but I would have thought he would have just gone back to having his head in the clouds, not acting out.

octopus

Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:12 pm

If he is paying attention, following directives because the para is there, and he is being part of the class, he is mentally doing way more work than he is used to! That's pretty draining work for someone who was spaced out previously!