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Bergenfield/ Teaneck/ YNJ/ Noam questions



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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 10:41 am
Hi - Really appreciate any help. We live in an OOT community and are in a very MO part of it (its very bifurcated- yeshivish vs MO) and are looking to move because its not a good fit for us which is affecting us more as our kids are getting older. We are right wing YU MO, I think- - my husband goes to minyan every day and tries to learn every day, I cover my hair but show a little bit, wear jean skirts, see movies. We think Bergenfield would be a great fit but have several questions. I don't mean to offend anyone with any of these even if it sounds like I'm doing a lot of stereotyping. I really just want to get some info and really appreciate the help.
1. does almost everyone have family in town and we would feel left out on shabbos and/ or chagim if we didnt have plans with family? Is it the type of community where everyone has a sister down the block? Or is it the type of community where everyone goes to their mom in queens/ long island for RH? Or are people making their own lives for themselves and having shabbos and yuntif plans with friends?
2. im 29 and my husband is 32. do people our age live in bergenfield or more places like fair lawn?
3. were thinking RYNJ would be the right school but aren't sure, maybe its too yeshivish. I want our kids to have friends where most of the mothers cover their hair but I also dont want most of their friends to be wearing elbow sleeves (girls) and knee socks at young ages (or knee socks maybe ever Smile ) Is the school very yeshivish mentality or a mix of right wing MO and yeshivish people? where do RYNJ kids go for sleepaway camp? any to mesorah or mostly places like dora golding/ dina?
4. whats the composition of Noam in terms of religious levels of the families? were looking to get away from people who eat out, swim on shabbos, hang out in bars, husbands watch inappropriate tv shows or movies
5. Are people welcoming to new families or is it hard to break in socially?
6. How do you figure out where specifically to live? Are there homes available on "good" streets with families with kids?
7. Are there stay at home moms or does everyone work?
Thanks a ton!
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 12:57 pm
amother wrote:
Hi - Really appreciate any help. We live in an OOT community and are in a very MO part of it (its very bifurcated- yeshivish vs MO) and are looking to move because its not a good fit for us which is affecting us more as our kids are getting older. We are right wing YU MO, I think- - my husband goes to minyan every day and tries to learn every day, I cover my hair but show a little bit, wear jean skirts, see movies. We think Bergenfield would be a great fit but have several questions. I don't mean to offend anyone with any of these even if it sounds like I'm doing a lot of stereotyping. I really just want to get some info and really appreciate the help.
1. does almost everyone have family in town and we would feel left out on shabbos and/ or chagim if we didnt have plans with family? Is it the type of community where everyone has a sister down the block? Or is it the type of community where everyone goes to their mom in queens/ long island for RH? Or are people making their own lives for themselves and having shabbos and yuntif plans with friends?

* We live in Bergenfield and yes, most people have relatives that live here. We don't. Also, a lot of people do go away to parents for the chagim - we don't. But we're not alone in that.

2. im 29 and my husband is 32. do people our age live in bergenfield or more places like fair lawn?
* Plenty of people your age live here. Most people here is your age, actually

3. were thinking RYNJ would be the right school but aren't sure, maybe its too yeshivish. I want our kids to have friends where most of the mothers cover their hair but I also dont want most of their friends to be wearing elbow sleeves (girls) and knee socks at young ages (or knee socks maybe ever Smile ) Is the school very yeshivish mentality or a mix of right wing MO and yeshivish people? where do RYNJ kids go for sleepaway camp? any to mesorah or mostly places like dora golding/ dina?

*YNJ mostly sends to Dora GOlding for boys but there is a mix. There also is a mix with the girls' dress code. No one here wear knee socks at all. YNJ is not yeshivish. It's RW MO - like a RW YU. Most people cover their hair - a lot with hair out in front, so if you do that, you're not at all alone.

4. whats the composition of Noam in terms of religious levels of the families? were looking to get away from people who eat out, swim on shabbos, hang out in bars, husbands watch inappropriate tv shows or movies

*Noam is a mix. I don't know much about it, but I don't think it's as modern as you think.

5. Are people welcoming to new families or is it hard to break in socially?
* Unfortunately, it's hard to break in, unless of course you went to the right schools or camps or Stern, then, you'll have tons of friends.

6. How do you figure out where specifically to live? Are there homes available on "good" streets with families with kids?
*Right now, a lot of the available homes are new constructions, but there are smaller ones available too. You can get a realtor that knows the area. There are A LOT of the local moms that do that.

7. Are there stay at home moms or does everyone work?
*most work, but there are stay-at-home moms.
I hope that helps.

Thanks a ton!
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Mom23gs




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 1:35 pm
Hi - Really appreciate any help. We live in an OOT community and are in a very MO part of it (its very bifurcated- yeshivish vs MO) and are looking to move because its not a good fit for us which is affecting us more as our kids are getting older. We are right wing YU MO, I think- - my husband goes to minyan every day and tries to learn every day, I cover my hair but show a little bit, wear jean skirts, see movies. We think Bergenfield would be a great fit but have several questions. I don't mean to offend anyone with any of these even if it sounds like I'm doing a lot of stereotyping. I really just want to get some info and really appreciate the help.
1. does almost everyone have family in town and we would feel left out on shabbos and/ or chagim if we didnt have plans with family? Is it the type of community where everyone has a sister down the block? Or is it the type of community where everyone goes to their mom in queens/ long island for RH? Or are people making their own lives for themselves and having shabbos and yuntif plans with friends?

** A lot of people have family in town, but I would not say it's almost everyone. We don't and often make plans with friends or do meals on our own.

2. im 29 and my husband is 32. do people our age live in bergenfield or more places like fair lawn?


**Most people here are your age.

3. were thinking RYNJ would be the right school but aren't sure, maybe its too yeshivish. I want our kids to have friends where most of the mothers cover their hair but I also dont want most of their friends to be wearing elbow sleeves (girls) and knee socks at young ages (or knee socks maybe ever Smile ) Is the school very yeshivish mentality or a mix of right wing MO and yeshivish people? where do RYNJ kids go for sleepaway camp? any to mesorah or mostly places like dora golding/ dina?

**My kids go to YNJ. The school would best be classified as right wing YU, but the Head of school and many Rebbes's and a few Morot are Yeshivish. Some of the students come from Yeshivish families in Passaic and Monsey. In school there is a strict color based dress code which starts in first grade, which is when classes are separated as well. Girls are required to wear elbow sleeves from fourth grade. The sock requirement is that they cover the ankle. No one wears knee socks, Out of school, I
would say most of the girls are wearing to the elbow by the time they hit bat mitzva, but not all. Many wear short sleeves. The majority wear skirts out of school, but there are some who don't. The majority of kids go to Mesorah, Shoshanim, Dora golding, Dina, Kaylee, and there a even few at Moshava, Morasha and Nesher. Most mothers cover there hair in some way, ranging to baseball cap and hair showing to tichel or sheital covering everything.

4. whats the composition of Noam in terms of religious levels of the families? were looking to get away from people who eat out, swim on shabbos, hang out in bars, husbands watch inappropriate tv shows or movies

**Noam has a more mixed parent body. There are many YNJ type families, but also some who don't cover hair and wear pants, but are still involved in torah learning and pretty frum. More Noam kids are in Moshava or Mesorah, a few in dina, shoshanim and dora golding. One difference is that Most YNJ girls go to Bruriah for High school, almost no Noam girls do.

**in both schools, no one is really swimming on shabbos, hanging in bars, or watching inappropriate TV. But even in YNJ, kids do watch TV, go on the computer, have cell phones, post on instagram, and are listening to secular music. I find that everyone is respectful of the kids who don't.

5. Are people welcoming to new families or is it hard to break in socially?
**Depends on where you move to and where you choose to daven. It can be, but I find that there are many friendly and welcoming people.


6. How do you figure out where specifically to live? Are there homes available on "good" streets with families with kids?

**Find a good realtor and check out the different areas. North of Newbridge road there are many great new home going up right now, on very nice blocks.

7. Are there stay at home moms or does everyone work?

**Many work, some stay home. Mix of both.
Thanks a ton!
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 3:05 pm
Thank you both very much!
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My4Jewels




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 3:30 pm
I am a noam mom. There is definitely a mix of families. I don't cover my hair and wear pants but among my kids friends and I have 5 of them I am the minority. I'd say if you were looking for a warm part of town try near arzei darom in teaneck although I think people there are somewhat more modern then say Bergenfield. But I have 2 friends in Bergenfield who say it's very hard to break in and find friends.

I think overall Fairlawn may be more of the place you might be interested in. It's smaller warmer and has a mix of people.

As far as summer camps.. my kids friends from noam mostly go to Moshava and nesher. My understanding that ynj most kids go to Dina, shoshanim, and Dora Golding.

I think it's best if you try out a shabbos in each shul that you may be interested in. If you contact the shul's I'm sure they'd put u guys up somewhere.

Good luck!

Let me know if you have any other questions.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 8:08 pm
we just moved to fair lawn, and send to ynj. I'm finding shabbos by ourselves to be very rare. people are super-friendly, wide range of hashkafos, no need for family nearby. age range seems right, and there are houses available on good blocks right now. many people move to apartments first while house hunting. it sounds like you would fit in ynj, and I'm a SAHM, so that's at least one. no clue about summer camps, I keep my kids home with me every summer.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 10:09 pm
Thank you all so much!
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Dec 05 2016, 11:51 pm
Another question - are there people in Bergenfield who have housekeepers/ nannies (even sahm)?
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Mom23gs




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 06 2016, 12:04 am
I would say that many/most people have cleaning ladies and the ones who work may nannies, although there are many great day cares here that are popular as well. Many Sahms may have cleaning help, hard to know how many also have nannies. The ones I know always seem to have their kids with them.
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