Am I an (inadvertent) jerk?

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amother

Royalblue

Thu, Dec 08 2016, 5:24 pm

There have been times in life I've met people who acted in a not nice manner because they were clueless about their own behavior. Worse is I remember saying not nice things to people over the years because I didn't realize how offended they would be. Today many years later I cringe about what I said or did. Therefore the thought occurred to me "maybe I really still act not nicely to people because I lack the social skills to realize it" .How would I KNOW otherwise?

sourstix

Thu, Dec 08 2016, 5:42 pm

Tell us what you said and we might be able to help you.

mummiedearest

Thu, Dec 08 2016, 7:20 pm

I think everyone is at some point or another. no one can fully anticipate the other person's feelings. it's part of being human. you've obviously matured since a few years ago, and you will likely continue to do so.

zaq

Thu, Dec 08 2016, 7:41 pm

Before saying anything to anyone, consider honestly how you would feel if someone said the same thing to you. If you would feel awkward or hurt, chances are yhe other person would, too. If you know yourself to be especially insensitive to hurt, throw in an extra margin of safety when considering how someone else might respond.

But relax; everyone says stupid thoughtless things now and then, not out of malice but out of lack of forethought or even lack of knowledge about the other person. Just work on thinking ahead as much as possible and realize that nobody's perfect.

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