What does sunday cost you.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Dec 11 2016, 9:19 pm

My kids are between 11 and 1 and we do nothing major usually. Sometimes a trip to the library, the ~~zoo~~ park. Usually hanging around the house, some playdates, yard work, whatever.

Today, for example, boys had shacharis and learning. When that was over, I brought 2 of my girls to an hour activity at the shul ($5 for the family). We came home, had lunch. My second and third kids had a playdate at friends. My oldest made energy bytes for a school project due tomorrow. My sixth watched him. My fourth was under the weather, and my fifth worked on her VIP of the Week poster with me. My baby napped or hung out with us. Very low key.

EDITED: No idea why I wrote the zoo. We have gone once on chol hamoed with the extended family since we moved 2.5 years ago. I meant the park.

Last edited by Hashem_Yaazor on Mon, Dec 12 2016, 8:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

gold21

Sun, Dec 11 2016, 9:23 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

What does her location have to do with imaginative play?

Developmental psychologists acknowledge the value of imaginative play for kids. It means that you don't have to hand a child an electronic device to keep them occupied, they can use their imaginations for a variety of play scenarios.

Yeah, ok, sounds good on paper..... Except that im sure that most of the developmental psychologists you speak of have electronic devices for their kids.

Her location= if she doesn't live with you, then you can't know exactly what's going on- if the kids are whiny , argumentative, bored, etc. It's just not the same when you're not the one entertaining kids on a Sunday.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Dec 11 2016, 9:38 pm

gold21 wrote:

Have it your way Gold, but take a minute to think about what you wrote.I typically spend weekends at one of my DDs. We really don't see the kids unless they are hungry on Sundays. They go off and play in the play room. Yea kids get argumentative, so what? That's how they learn to solve problems between themselves. Whiny, so what, put the head phones on. They make a mess and take books off the shelves, checkers and chess pieces are found in dollhouses. They know the ground rules, no hitting, no throwing stuff indoors, no destruction of property. This is all rather small beans when you look at the big picture. The children are playing, sometimes loud, sometimes quietly. And everyone gets a break from their weekly routines and it doesn't cost a dime.

None of this may conform to your life or lifestyle. But it doesn't have to.

gold21

Sun, Dec 11 2016, 9:46 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

OK. Fair enough. It just doesnt work that way for me. I would have to know your DD to know why our experiences are so different. Maybe your DD has a big place with a big yard, suburbia with a picket fence, and I live in a city-type environment in tighter quarters. Maybe your DD's oldest, who sets the tone for the rest of the kids, is a creative artistic girl, and my oldest is a sporty energetic boy. Maybe your DD produces mellow easygoing kids and my kids are more outgoing. Whatever. Who knows. Point is, what you describe sounds like what I myself did growing up. Let me tell you, it was amazing fun, amazing memories, B"H. But it does NOT work with my kids. My kids need more structure. I take what I'm B"H blessed with and run with it. No matter what the psychologists claim- I'll do what works, not what they tell me should work.

It's not like I do a lot on Sunday anyway. I do a lot of playdates and trips to the park. Oh, and iPad as well. If it works, it works.

I chose to reply to your initial post on this thread because you suggested that ALL kids should be okay with little to no structure on Sundays, regardless of circumstances. That's not real life. Real life is a lot more complicated than that.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 12:14 am

amother wrote:

Why have kids if you hate having them around?

I seriously hate judgmental posts like this.
You have no idea of what goes in another person's house. The challenges and struggles they have with their kids.

I myself have a child with adhd. I love her to bits but, yes, Sundays are a struggle as she does much better with structure..

I'm happy for you that you are the perfect mom all the time, but don't judge.

And if you are going to, at least do it under your screen name

MagentaYenta

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 12:24 am

gold21 wrote:

...
I chose to reply to your initial post on this thread because you suggested that ALL kids should be okay with little to no structure on Sundays, regardless of circumstances. That's not real life. Real life is a lot more complicated than that.

Actually I suggested imaginative play. And yea, I'm lucky to have kids and grand kids who are comfortable with some basic rules and being left to their own devices. That's my real life, it doesn't have to be the same as yours and visa versa.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 12:44 am

amother wrote:

Am I the only one cramming a week's worth of errands into a Sunday afternoon?
I can spend more on Sunday than I do the rest of the week, often close to $300.
There's groceries and target and the tights store and the cleaners and and and....
And then we come home to a wreaked house, piles of laundry waiting to be ironed, folded and put away, loads of bags to unpack, and tired, hungry, cranky kids to deal with. At wits end

Sundays make Mondays look positively fun!

No, you are not the only one cramming your errands into Sunday Very Happy

I do the same thing. Because of that, I do spend a lot of money on Sundays, but on things I would be buying anyway (like groceries, tights, shoes, etc.) not on activities. Sometimes we get pizza or ice cream on Sundays and occasionally maybe another activity. Otherwise, we are basically home trying to catch up on the things we don't have time for during the week. I try to keep the kids busy with games, sometimes play dates, arts and crafts, etc., while I try to get other things done in between. I am usually knocked out by the end of Sunday, but it definitely beats going to work.

seeker

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 12:46 am

I need Sundays or I wouldn't get anything done. I don't know how people in Israel cope and it was seriously one of the big deterrents when I was thinking of aliyah.

It happens to be that my kids are extraordinarily easy to occupy B"H. They love imaginative play and can be busy for hours playing school or house or whatever with each other. They also love arts n crafts and can be busy for hours coloring or doing something or other that I'll never be allowed to dispose of. Sure a little sibling rivalry and stuff like that but basically I have it pretty good. Yet even with all of that Sundays get loopy if we don't do anything special! Sometimes I'm sitting around at 1pm thinking "This is going fine, why rock the boat, we can just stay here and chill" and then I remember all those other times I said that and then by evening everyone was at least a little crazy. So I'm with Gold21 - if this is what it's like with really good, tame kids, I can only assume most people have it worse.

But I don't think it needs to cost money. A change of scenery and a face that's not from your immediate family can help. Some Sundays we do shopping, then it costs a little extra for a treat for the good helpers, not big money and if I did end up needing to drag them along on a weekday shopping it would probably be the same. Some days we go visit a friend, just a couple of weeks ago I had this great brainstorm that I'M the adult, THEY'RE the kids, and I have all the power - so we went to visit one of MY friends who *I* wanted to see, and just left it up to the kids to get along with each other. Best idea ever. Sundays are also good for visiting grandparents and relatives, which on its own may not be the greatest but if you can take a train to get there that adds points, if they live next to a park and it's either warm or snowing that's good, if they have toys so much the better. Sometimes I'll google free activities or things to see in our area - confession, this is easier to do if you live in a happening type of city (though that means the venues can get crowded, too)

Sometimes a structured activity at home like a baking project can do, but for myself I think it all goes better when we go out a little. It doesn't need to be every Sunday, I'm ok with having the little bit of crazy some weeks, just not too many in a row.

And add me to the list of those curious what kind of job amother has that keeps BOTH parents out of the house from 9 to midnight Sad

Is it only Sundays, do you have downtime in middle of the week? I can't even imagine how that's compatible with family life. Wow.

amother

Yellow

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 2:49 am

in the mornings my kids play- either at home or at friends houses (or we have other kids over). it costs nothing.

during that time I do household (ironing, washing the floors, several loads of laundry, precook suppers...)

the afternoon is family time-. we go for walks, take the bikes, visit familymembers, check out parks and playgrounds in other districts, picnick... when the wether is bad or one of the kids is not feeling well we have reading times, we play together, do arts/crafts..., also we like to visit elder people in the old age house. we visit one lady in particular, there is a garden, so the kids can play outside there (we dont have a garden so for them its special). they also have a beautiful cafe and in the winter months we order hot chocolate for the little ones and cake - it soudns funny but the kids really enjoy it, when do they get to go to a real cafe - for them it is a special treat.

whenever it is possible we try to leave the house. there are free museums and sometimes we spend a little bit for some activity.

we sometimes cook dinner together (pizza or something fun little kids can help with like decorating a cake...)

I wonder how families in israel manage... it is definitely our familyday and I would really miss it.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 3:15 am

So interesting to read this thread. Im in Israel so there are no sundays and we yearn for a sunday here and there.
A few questions, does nobodies kids have home work?
Also, and this is not meant in judgement at all, just a question, but if all week everyone is busy doign doing doing, why is sunday so fraught with anxiety and nothing to do? With little kids, go to parks, have play dates, bake things, do art projects, all things that can be done very cheaply.
Its a full day, if you dont work, to be able to do family things (and homework - can you tell I had a lot as a high schooler ?) to me that sounds great. But again, thats my opinion.

Raisin

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 5:14 am

We don't usually spend money. Sometimes if its bad weather we might go bowling or ice skating. (I try and save the big expensive trips for chol hamoed etc.) Otherwise we go to a park, hike, etc. Or a kid has a birthday party or playdate. Or we go shopping for needed clothing, shoes, etc. If we are really stuck we might go to the dollar store and buy a craft or toy. Yesterday 2 kids had playdates, and last week we went on a hike. Alas its not that often that I can get the whole family out, often me and dh are busy with work related stuff. Growing up every sunday we went somewhere. Not necessarily places that cost money. My mother had a subscription to the national trust so we visited a lot of big and old houses, castles, etc.

I wish our libraries opened on sunday. Sad

That would be ideal. I definitely need to get the kids out of the house for a bit and we never have time for the library during the week.

Shabbat, my little kids don't get homework over the weekend.

I love sundays. Just the fact that I don't have to get up at a specific time is very freeing. Although I am happy to get back to routine and a quiet house on monday.

gold21

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 5:38 am

MagentaYenta wrote:

Right. Like I said, I think its great that your grandkids enjoy imaginative play.... as long as you're not suggesting that everyone has to be that way. Cuz many kids that I know- not only my own- I refer to the many neighbors and friends in the same boat (yes we totally discuss this!)- who have normal well-behaved well-adjusted kids, who do not do well with lazy Sundays.

Glad we agree then.

A good friend of mine in Monsey has kids who do very well with imaginative play. She has a big basement of toys, a huge backyard and front yard, it's very conducive to imaginative play. I'm happy for her, and she doesn't judge me for the fact that my kids needs structure, so we're good.

Again, you did imply that all kids should be a certain way. They're not. And, kids that thrive on structure are normal and well-adjusted, same as the kids who do well with unstructured play. Both ways are normal. It just depends on the personalities and interests (and often, genders/ages) of the kids, and the layout of the home.

On that note, enjoy your grandkids.

Last edited by gold21 on Mon, Dec 12 2016, 10:12 am; edited 1 time in total

saw50st8

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 7:29 am

My older two have cub scouts on Sunday and half the year we have sports (soccer or baseball). We do errands and clean and do laundry. Other times we go out. There are so many fun places to go. In the better weather we go hiking or to parks. We had a museum membership to the local science museum so we go there quite a bit (it ended, I'm not sure where we will get a membership to next). I like to get out of the house so we don't go stir crazy unless the weather is terrible.

I love Sundays. I wish we could have 7 of them.

lucky14

Mon, Dec 12 2016, 9:16 am

amother wrote:

wow! I have 3 and the oldest is also 3.5. On sundays we have lots of fun cleaning and doing laundry together. They LOVE it! We sort laundry, dust furniture, etc. We also ride bikes, listen to music, and dance together. Once in a while we will go to a park or the library. Sunday is our favorite day!

I only have one and he's still a baby, but that's what I'm hoping our Sundays will be like Smile

(we already do some of that stuff like the Sunday Morning dance parties, but it'll be cute when he can do "chores" with me. Though I guess taking dishes out of the dishwasher as I put them in prob. counts as helping out for him.)