Upper middle class yet somehow tight, ideas to cut expenses

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 8:09 pm

I bh have never really had to worry about money, DH and I both work, I part time and flexible and him full time. We bought a house earlier than some of our peers and were able to renovate after a few yrs as well. We have 4 kids, all under 9, two with tuition. I have full time cleaning help that babysits as well and is my lifesaver.

Lately I know our taxes have gone up, and somehow our expenses have risen. I'm not a spendthrift but not super price conscious either. I have never price checked food items or shopped grocery sales specifically, if I'm buying it anyway and there's a brand on sale I'll buy it. I definitely buy takeout way too often but it is often my sanity so I'd rather not cut it if not necessary. I mostly shop in Zara, h&m, target, etc and occasionally some more expensive better quality clothing for me from Bloomingdales. I detest spending money on 'designer' clothing, especially for kids, but I like being up to date, so I do shop, just won't spend on brand names or in Jewish store (more $$).

I hate math and don't want to be budgeting down to the dollar and bh I don't have to. I know I am spoiled, I'm grateful for all I have, but I need some basic tips so we can breathe easier. Any good budget ideas out there that don't require a line item budget but can be incorporated to save a few dollars?

Sorry so long, all ideas welcome!!

amother

Blush

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 9:55 pm

Make sure your Ma'aser is up to date.

Try to find ways to put money away.
If you get a monthly allowence for household expenses, take 20% of it and put it away, and see if you could live without it.
The first month will be the hardest.

Only spend cash, try not to use credit cards.

Take your credit cards and put it up high in your closet, somewhere it would be a pain to get to.

1-2x a week make a cheeper meal, $5 dinner for the whole family
It could be very nutritious.
Rice and beans with a sunnyside egg.
Chicken soup made of bones and then look for veggies in the home, that you have a little of this and a little of that.
Leftover cooked veggies can always be put into an omlete, again a little of this and a little of that.

Hatzlacha.

nursemomma

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:09 pm

Can you cut your cleaning help, maybe even just one hour a day? Adds up eventually. Or maybe re-negotiate with her to pay her a set salary, if you employ her full time anyway.
Do your grocery shopping at a store that is known for cheap prices, if possible.
Stock up in Costco/Walmart to save on pharmacy type items, paper goods etc.
it doesn't sound like you want to give up on the takeout, but maybe try getting hold of some quick, one-pot dinner ideas for those busy days.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:20 pm

I know spending cash only makes sense in theory but we have everything automated, paychecks direct deposit and we pay everything online, credit card is a way of life for us right now. I can't cut cleaning ladies regular hours but will try to stop taking extra hrs whenever she offers. I will try not to resort to takeout so easily, I know if I plan in advance I can have something easy prepared. Maaser is all up to date, and this is with automated savings going to retirement and separate kids accounts each month as well.

thanks, please keep the ideas coming!

amother

Aquamarine

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:28 pm

amother wrote:

Is it possible your not really "upper middle class"? I think some people might think they are but really aren't. What is your actual family annual income?

yksraya

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:30 pm

amother wrote:

Is it possible your not really "upper middle class"? I think some people might think they are but really aren't. What is your actual family annual income?

Have you never heard the concept of poor middle class?
Based on what OP describes, I can see she is upper middle class.

allthingsblue

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:35 pm

Maybe instead of takeout you can do easy dinners, as simple as omelettes and grilled cheese, or even roasted chicken with instant rice, or one-pan lasagna/baked ziti... There are so many super simple ideas. You can even cook in advance and freeze, and then "take out" when you need it most!
Also, plan your menu around the sales. It really makes a difference. I save about $30 a week that way, and it's easy!

MagentaYenta

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:45 pm

Now would be a good time to learn to like math. It's easy right now it's just addition and subtraction. Income v expenses.

Without a way to measure anything (a budget) you can't track your successes or failures or choose a direction I.e. set realistic financial goals in specific increments.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:55 pm

Thanks all. We are definitely upper middle class, I'm not spending money we don't have but I'm getting perilously close to the bottom of the barrel each month. To clarify again, that bottom of the barrel is after mortgage, tzedakah, savings, and utilities. I have friends with all sorts of different financial situations and I try very hard to be aware of what I'm spending, not flaunting, and being grateful. Now is the first time I feel the need to actively spend less. I'm realizing I'm less willing to give up the cleaning help, which is a huge expense, but willing to try to cook supper every night instead of 3-4x a week.

Any other insights still welcome

amother

Aquamarine

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 10:56 pm

yksraya wrote:

Have you never heard the concept of poor middle class?
Based on what OP describes, I can see she is upper middle class.

What is the op describing? That she has help and did renovations? She's saying she's struggling paying for this lifestyle. How does that show she is really upper middle class? If I lease a Lamborghini that I can't afford does that mean I'm super rich? Surely only the super rich can drive a Lamborghini. But if I can't afford it then I'm just tricking myself. So again, what is the op's annual income that she considers herself upper middle class?

naomi2

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 11:40 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

You are the best person to help yourself. You have all the info about where your money is going and how to cut back. You mentioned that you don't want to do math or budgeting but that's really the most efficient way to get your answer. Everyone else''s opinions are just a shot in the dark.

amother

Oak

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 12:01 am

Sometimes it's a creeping sense of entitlement. As in, we earn $x, so of course we can afford...

It's small things that not everyone considers luxuries, like takeout food and buying books instead of going to the library, getting the kids new shoes because it's the next season, even when their shoes are appropriate and still fit, expensive vacations instead of a short trip, etc.

It's hard to pull back when you've gotten used to these things, so the best is not to get used to them at all.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 12:13 am

Magenta and naomi2, you're right. I need to do the work in order to get results, just so daunting! My husband really takes care of all our finances- he's not even asking me to cut spending, I just know we cannot afford a few larger purchases I was waiting to make.?Amother oak, you're definitely right as well. I think I'm keeping myself grounded by wearing target, gap, etc, but clothes is a drop in the bucket. We do an expensive vacation once every 3 yrs or so, we do go to the library but buy books as well... I make smaller purchases without thinking, like buying a salad for lunch, etc. I was trying to find a way to cut down without tracking every dollar. I'm going to work on cutting down on takeout dinners, lunches, lattes etc, and see if that helps. If not I'll have to break out the calculator.

Amother aquamarine, my husband is very cautious, so we don't have any cars, home renovations, etc, that we are struggling with. Our large purchases are usually planned carefully. The whole reason for this post was because I have to wait to buy a few bigger ticket items I was going to buy in the next few months, furniture and the like, so I'm taking a harder look at my smaller purchases.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 12:19 am

Some ideas to cut back with:
Make sure you turn off all lights and heating when you leave the house, and keep on only the room/ floor that you need.
Go easy on suppers, as others have said.
See what you can cut back on in your grocery orders. Snacks? Soda? Fruits and veg- buy what you need, etc. Plastic goods. Try paper goods instead.
Stop buying (as many) hair accessories for the kids.
Find a cheaper sheitel macher or do your wig yourself.
Small things like these add up. But you know your lifestyle. These are just my ideas, most which I've implemented. Make a list of all your expenses and you will see what you'd be okay with cutting back on.

amother

Jade

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 12:21 am

Another idea- try to think about expenses that crept their way into your life and became necessities, like meat every shabbos or weekly manicures. Also, for myself I find sometimes that pushing off expenses ends up saving me money- ex instead of washing my Shaitel every four weeks I give it a mini wash and send it in two weeks later. Or I push off the clothing purchase that seems so important and 3 weeks later the season changed and I wouldn't need it anyway. Good luck.

amother

Blue

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 2:18 am

Some things you do I should learn from you. That you are putting away in a retirement acc and a kids acc is a wonderfull thing!! Ajd to be upto date with maaser is a grand thing too! I fins gift giving is a very big expense. Any idea how to give gifts cheaper?