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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Child born out of (Jewish) wedlock
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anony




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 1:43 pm
If a child was born to two Jewish parents who did not have a Jewish wedding (therefore are not halahically married), are there any halachic ramifications for this child? Does it present any kind of problem for when the child eventually wants to get married?
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 1:49 pm
Halachically no, Unless the woman was eishes ish.

But depending on the community the child lives in. In many communities ppl would not want to do sucha shiduch.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 1:54 pm
were they both single at the time not previously married?
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:00 pm
yksraya wrote:
Halachically no, Unless the woman was eishes ish.

But depending on the community the child lives in. In many communities ppl would not want to do sucha shiduch.

Most of my children were probably conceived after I said major lashon hara.
Would you not do such a shiduch?
When it's time for this child to get married I sincerely hope people judge him for himself and not for his parent's choices.
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maidale




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:01 pm
If the mother was not married to anybody else, there are no halachik ramificiations on the child.
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:02 pm
no halachik issue
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:05 pm
heidi wrote:
Most of my children were probably conceived after I said major lashon hara.
Would you not do such a shiduch?
When it's time for this child to get married I sincerely hope people judge him for himself and not for his parent's choices.

It's not about me personally. It's the reality in most ultra orthodox circles. Not saying it's ok, just bringing out a point.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:10 pm
The parents of many BT's may not have had a kosher wedding. eg if the witnesses are not frum, etc.

I think people are more concerned that a child was born from a niddah relationship then if they were halachically married. But that is a ruchnius thing, not halachic.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 2:19 pm
There is no halachic problem. Nowhere anywhere near maamzer.
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anony




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 5:13 pm
Iymnok wrote:
There is no halachic problem. Nowhere anywhere near maamzer.


Ok that's what I thought. Thanks everyone.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 21 2016, 6:07 pm
I have a neice born just that way. My brother is OTD still never married. But she is a Jewish woman and was never married. The kid is the most lovable and sweetest thing. I hope she will not be affected by this when she gets older
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 1:29 am
I recently found out that my ultra-chareidi (originally BT) father's secular father was conceived out of wedlock. Oh the humanity if the neighborhood found out. I found out through another relative so not even sure if my father knows. Am I a horrible person for finding this mildly amusing? (To be fair, I truly believe that this affects no one in reality. I guess I'm just the kind of person who laughs at these stigmas and finds it funny to think "if they only knew about our skeletons"- and that's the least of them!)
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 1:40 am
amother wrote:
I recently found out that my ultra-chareidi (originally BT) father's secular father was conceived out of wedlock. Oh the humanity if the neighborhood found out. I found out through another relative so not even sure if my father knows. Am I a horrible person for finding this mildly amusing? (To be fair, I truly believe that this affects no one in reality. I guess I'm just the kind of person who laughs at these stigmas and finds it funny to think "if they only knew about our skeletons"- and that's the least of them!)

I'm the same way. I find it hilarious at the amount of digging people will do and reject shidduchim for the silliest things they find out. Then they will finally say yes to someone and think they've found all the skeletons. Wake up call! You will never find out everything and the stigmas you say no to are ridiculous.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 8:55 am
Raisin wrote:
The parents of many BT's may not have had a kosher wedding. eg if the witnesses are not frum, etc.

I think people are more concerned that a child was born from a niddah relationship then if they were halachically married. But that is a ruchnius thing, not halachic.


Before I dated a BT, my father asked a Rav about the issue of parents not keeping niddah. He said that R' Moshe paskens that as long as the boy is a yarei shamayim, you don't need to worry about the spiritual damage and you can go ahead with the shidduch.
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 12:14 pm
Raisin wrote:
The parents of many BT's may not have had a kosher wedding. eg if the witnesses are not frum, etc.

I think people are more concerned that a child was born from a niddah relationship then if they were halachically married. But that is a ruchnius thing, not halachic.


Just for the record, I married a wonderful BT (mother Jewish, but father not kosher conversion) who's a ben torah and held in high regard by all of his rebbeim.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 12:23 pm
living together is considered a marriage ... they might even need a halachic 'gett'
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anony




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 12:32 pm
greenfire wrote:
living together is considered a marriage ... they might even need a halachic 'gett'


I thought not all opinions held that, which is why at weddings we do that (yichud) in addition to other things, to cover the bases.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 12:45 pm
No its not a problem. And no, the parents dont need a get. It may be embarrassing for the family but he's not a mamzer
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 12:55 pm
amother wrote:
No its not a problem. And no, the parents dont need a get. It may be embarrassing for the family but he's not a mamzer


if I'm understanding ou correctly - you are misunderstanding me

I NEVER said they need a 'gett' - but in general should one want to divorce or separate after having lived together, in said instance then they would possibly need a 'gett' in order to ever get married to someone else in the future ... it's all theoretical
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 22 2016, 1:16 pm
anony wrote:
I thought not all opinions held that, which is why at weddings we do that (yichud) in addition to other things, to cover the bases.


Sefardim don't have yichud at the wedding.
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