Do you stop giving gifts when nieces & nephews get older?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah

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amother

Mistyrose

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 9:52 am

Until what age do you give your nieces and nephews chanukah gifts? Do you still give them when they are married?

Amarante

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 10:22 am

Depends on the relationship and circumstances.

It's just natural to have closer relationships with relatives especially as they get older. I would still get gifts from aunts as an adult but I was exceptionally close close to them as a child and even as an adult as we spent all simchas together and I was as close to their children as my sibling.

With other side, relations were cordial but not so close and so no gift exchanges.

However if I were attending a party or special event, then perhaps.

Also it's not uncommon for adults to agree to some kind of gift swap among adults where you draw one person and buy a gif for that adult person and there is generally a set amount to be spent. I think this is a great way to handle because you don't have to get a zillion gifts and you don't wind up getting stupid gifts for the sake of having a gift to give. If you have a truly personal relationship with someone you can always mutually exchange gifts privately in addition to the family swap.

Chayalle

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 10:26 am

In our family, every unmarried niece/nephew gets one gift at the Chanuka party. It is done by goral. All of the kids names go into a pile, and everyone picks out the number of names equaling the number of kids they have. For example, I have 3 girls B"AH so I picked 3 names (you don't get your own child). I bought gifts for those 3 nieces/nephews. We have a suggested price range, too.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 10:55 am

None of my aunts or uncles get me gifts. I don't give any of my nieces or nephews either. I have 12 and counting bh, am I really expected to get them all gifts?

I do sometimes get the ones from my husbands side, because there are only three of them. That side of the family is very small.

MiracleMama

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 11:15 am

My nieces and nephews are still kids, but older kids now mostly. I got sick of trying to figure out what to give them and for a couple years did gift cards or gelt but you can't give such a small amount so this year I decided I'm making donations in their honor. Hope they will appreciate and not be disappointed. I told my SILs to please do the same thing for our kids. Last thing we need is more toys/games/trinkets/clothes.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 11:24 am

My father and his sisters still get us all gifts. They also get gifts for my kids. That said, we are not a huge clan, and so far I'm the only one with kids. I imagine if there were 20 or more nieces and nephews, they would not be getting all of us gifts, certainly not into adulthood.

amother

Ivory

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 11:25 am

We don't give nieces and nephews gifts. I have k'ah over 60 nieces and nephews.

I don't think any of my aunts and uncles gave us growing up, even those we were close to and got together with for parties.

amother

Mistyrose

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 2:03 pm

I have been giving for years since my kids are receiving from this sibling. My kids are much younger. My husband just thinks its crazy because you have to give them cash or a gift cards as they get older. And then do you have to give their husbands or wives?

notshanarishona

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 2:15 pm

I don't give my neices/nephews gifts. If I was to see them on Chanukah I would probably give something small like chocolates but it would be never ending expenses. B"H come from a big family and there are a lot of kids.
If I gave gifts, I would probably stop after high school , but depends on your means. If you can afford to for longer, y not.

flowerpower

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 2:25 pm

Every kid gets a name of one cousin to buy for and a set amount. At the party they exchange gifts.

lucky14

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 2:30 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Every kid gets a name of one cousin to buy for and a set amount. At the party they exchange gifts.

I really like this idea!

ra_mom

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 3:44 pm

In our extended family, every individual family buys gifts for each family (and each family receives a gift from every other family).

thunderstorm

Fri, Dec 23 2016, 4:03 pm

I never gave nieces and nephews gifts. My DH doesn't believe in the whole thing. But I try to give Chanukah gelt to all of them. Sometimes it's just a dollar or two each. Depending on age etc.
My own family is very into the present exchange thing but sometimes I'm " forgiven" since I'm usually the one hosting and putting in all the work, setting up, cooking, prepping beds with linen etc. One of my brothers gave siddurim personalized with names on each one to ALL the kids, that is a huge expense! It was a nice gift because even the babies will use it one day and the teenagers use it too.

Aetrsnrady

Sat, Dec 24 2016, 11:31 pm

ra_mom wrote:

In our extended family, every individual family buys gifts for each family (and each family receives a gift from every other family).

I like this idea. What would constitute a gift "for the family?"

ra_mom

Sat, Dec 24 2016, 11:52 pm

Aetrsnrady wrote:

I like this idea. What would constitute a gift "for the family?"

We have a long standing tradition, dating back to when our aunts and uncles were the ones buying the gifts for the families. Tongue Out

Back then it was cassettes, bought upon request.
Today it's CDs for each family. And grandparents buy DVDs for each family.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 12:31 am

My husband's side has a chanukah party and we give something small to all the nieces/nephews who come. It could be chanukah gelt, or a small chanukah gift that cost $1-2. Like a pack of stickers, a coloring book etc. Last year we did a grab bag but kids were fighting over the prizes. Sad

I think we will stick to gelt.

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