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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
Send flowers to x family??



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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 6:24 am
Dxh's sister is making a wedding and invited me and for Friday night sheva brachos as well.
I have been estranged from her (and the rest of his siblings) for a few years now and am ready to step back now as we used to get along really well. This is my first time meeting them again properly.

Shall I send her some flowers or something else for shabbos before the wedding? Or no need?

Wwyd?
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5mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 6:44 am
I think it would be gracious of you. Why not?
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 7:07 am
It sounds like you want to start the relationship again, why not?
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:23 pm
In potentially fraught situations, always err on the side of being more courteous.......
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:26 pm
Sending flowers is a kind and gracious gesture and can only be a good thing. Also, if she invited you, it sounds like she's also ready to mend the broken bridges between you... I say good for you Grey for putting aside old hurts and rebuilding the relationship.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:41 pm
Im understanding you want to send flowers to ex DH family?
Or the X is there by mistake?
Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone invite ex family to simchos?
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:44 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
Im understanding you want to send flowers to ex DH family?
Or the X is there by mistake?
Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone invite ex family to simchos?


Perhaps she has children and would like them to have a relationship with their other family? It's difficult in the day and age of hostile divorces to consider that children are also relatives to these people and may deserve a relationship with them.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:53 pm
My mother-in-law has been divorced for many years but kept up a great relationship with her ex-mother-in-law and even invited her to her wedding and she came
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 10:12 pm
I have a very positive relationship with my DH's ex-wife. I look forward to seeing her when my step-daughter makes a simcha. It's beneficial to everyone in our family. Although you're not talking about an identical relationship, I support your interest in connecting with them if at all possible.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 11:11 pm
I think that's beautiful. Why oh why do entire families have to get dragged into a fight because two people weren't compatible?
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 11:14 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
Im understanding you want to send flowers to ex DH family?
Or the X is there by mistake?
Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone invite ex family to simchos?


I don't know if this is the case in OP's situation, but sometimes the XDH is just a difficult person and even his own family recognizes that. They may not have anything against the ex-wife and may want to have relationship with her in order to connect to her children or because they happen to like her even though she is divorced from their relative.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Thu, Dec 29 2016, 11:33 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
Im understanding you want to send flowers to ex DH family?
Or the X is there by mistake?
Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone invite ex family to simchos?


I know a few families like that and it's in everyone's best interest, assuming (as in the cases that I know) that they were close and liked each other before the divorce, why do they have to be enemies because of what a family member did? They're not responsible for someone else's actions
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amother
Gray


 

Post Fri, Dec 30 2016, 5:23 am
amother wrote:
I don't know if this is the case in OP's situation, but sometimes the XDH is just a difficult person and even his own family recognizes that. They may not have anything against the ex-wife and may want to have relationship with her in order to connect to her children or because they happen to like her even though she is divorced from their relative.


I know they have nothing against me but the hurt to be cut off together bec of dxh for no reason instead of support was hard to get over. And I feel that I'm the one putting the effort in to rebuild the bridges I have not burnt. Rather than seeing input of theirs which I deep down know they may not be capable of....
It's the first simcha I'm now daring to attend...
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