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mha3484









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:32 pm
I use to get very judgy about a person I know who always cried poverty and went on vacation until they mentioned that they stay with relatives and pay for the flights with miles. I felt kind of dumb. Personally DH wont be caught with in 100 miles of a beach so its not relevant to me but I learned a lesson in being less judgmental.
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amother




Amethyst


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:45 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I use to get very judgy about a person I know who always cried poverty and went on vacation until they mentioned that they stay with relatives and pay for the flights with miles. I felt kind of dumb. Personally DH wont be caught with in 100 miles of a beach so its not relevant to me but I learned a lesson in being less judgmental.


How do people that are poor have so many airline miles?
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mha3484









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:47 pm
I dont make a huge salary but I use credit cards for most of my purchases and pay them off each month. We have quite a large amount of points. I needed a new computer badly so that came before I could use them for airline miles but I can see how someone would use theirs differently.
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amother




Natural


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:50 pm
Squishy wrote:
It really seems the whole senior class goes to Florida. A couple of years ago 93% of the BY girls in one school in Monsey went. I think an even higher percent attended seminary.

I would love to know the percent paying full tuition.


We don't pay full tuition.

One year, the (wealthy) parents of one of DS1's friends asked if DS1 could come to Florida with them. They agreed to pay everything except airfare, which was under $300. In the end, however, they refused to even take the money for airfare.

Should he have stayed home so as not to offend anyone? Should my kids also be required to wear torn clothing and shoes with holes?
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flowerpower









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:57 pm
I don't judge anyone that goes to Florida. You can get really cheap tickets sometimes and you can get free lodging( staying at a relatives house)
My issue would be that "we have to do it because everyone else does". If your dd wants a nice vacation for her own personal feelings then consider something that suits you. We sometimes do water park/ hotel for one night which is perfect for us. I would NOT fly off to the sunny state because of peer pressure. From when my kids are born we work hard on not needing to do ( or buy) what anyone else does.
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 1:10 pm
I recall my teen nieces going to Florida one year for under $100 a ticket. There are really cheap deals sometimes. Teens can earn the costs by babysitting, etc...
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 1:12 pm
amother wrote:
And if they happen to have family living in Florida, they're not allowed to see them?

I find these rules to be absurd. Our school tried to pull that one year. They heard that some seniors were planning to go to Florida on their own, and sent out a vaguely threatening letter. Of course, these are the same young adults whom they fully expected to spend a year 5000+ miles away in Israel, in just a few months. Moreover, as a parent, I'm much better equipped to decide what my children can handle, and when they can handle it. [My kids didn't ask to go, and didn't go.]



You can choose to send your child to a school where the rules suit you better.

I know two families whose grandparents live in Florida, and they visit every summer vacation with the kids. In fact, they drive there to cut costs.
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Squishy









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 1:24 pm
amother wrote:
We don't pay full tuition.

One year, the (wealthy) parents of one of DS1's friends asked if DS1 could come to Florida with them. They agreed to pay everything except airfare, which was under $300. In the end, however, they refused to even take the money for airfare.

Should he have stayed home so as not to offend anyone? Should my kids also be required to wear torn clothing and shoes with holes?


Not at ALL. He should go and enjoy.

In this particular school, the teachers were not paid - many of them for a full year -because parents claimed poverty and didn't pay their tuition obligations. Many teachers were the sole support of their family, and they weren't going on trips. It is extraordinary to me that across the board, there was no money for tuition but money for Florida. There was also money for lovely designer accessories and smart phones for the girls while the teachers struggled.

While it is true, many of the girls went with friends and stayed in condos, some owned these condos.

Do you think tuition should be paid before luxuries are purchased?
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 1:54 pm
Even going to Great Wolf Lodge or one of the other resorts local to NYC can be expensive. I could never figure out how so many people I know do it. Especially the ones I know get tuition breaks. Whatever! People do what they want to do and have different priorities from mine.
My issue is the timing of yeshiva vacation week. Back in the day, yeshiva vacation was at the same time as x-mas vacation--when parents who were public school teachers had off. How nice to have vacation the same time as your kids! And now, yeshiva vacation is 3 weeks later. And why? So if people do go to Florida, they don't have to be there at the same time as the non-Jews? So the lines at Disney World will be shorter? I just don't get it. My husband works for the Dept. of Education and my company is closed between x-mas and New Years. So there's never a chance of either one of us taking off another week so soon after our holiday break. My kids just stay home.
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 1:57 pm
amother wrote:
Even going to Great Wolf Lodge or one of the other resorts local to NYC can be expensive. I could never figure out how so many people I know do it. Especially the ones I know get tuition breaks. Whatever! People do what they want to do and have different priorities from mine.


Many teens (mine included) contribute to costs associated with mid-winter vacation spending.
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Laiya









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:04 pm
amother wrote:
How do people that are poor have so many airline miles?


You can also maximize points by using certain cards for the items that that card gives more points for, take advantage of sign up bonuses, etc.
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amother




Natural


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:25 pm
Squishy wrote:
Not at ALL. He should go and enjoy.

In this particular school, the teachers were not paid - many of them for a full year -because parents claimed poverty and didn't pay their tuition obligations. Many teachers were the sole support of their family, and they weren't going on trips. It is extraordinary to me that across the board, there was no money for tuition but money for Florida. There was also money for lovely designer accessories and smart phones for the girls while the teachers struggled.

While it is true, many of the girls went with friends and stayed in condos, some owned these condos.

Do you think tuition should be paid before luxuries are purchased?


He did. Laughing

Please keep in mind that AFAIK, most schools don't give free rides. We're MO. "Reduced tuition" was about $14,000 per child in elementary school, $25,000 in high school. And while tuition should certainly be paid before luxuries, families also shouldn't be forced to live as if near the poverty line in order to get a break.

I also note that, eg, I have a friend who replaces her iPad annually, wears Tory Burch flip flops, and has a Kate Spade phone case. She also has a spendthrift sister who would throw these things out if my friend didn't take them. One never knows.

In any case, if no one is paying, and the teachers aren't being paid, the school has a bigger issue than kids spending a few days in Florida.
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saw50st8









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:39 pm
amother wrote:
He did. Laughing

Please keep in mind that AFAIK, most schools don't give free rides. We're MO. "Reduced tuition" was about $14,000 per child in elementary school, $25,000 in high school. And while tuition should certainly be paid before luxuries, families also shouldn't be forced to live as if near the poverty line in order to get a break.

I also note that, eg, I have a friend who replaces her iPad annually, wears Tory Burch flip flops, and has a Kate Spade phone case. She also has a spendthrift sister who would throw these things out if my friend didn't take them. One never knows.

In any case, if no one is paying, and the teachers aren't being paid, the school has a bigger issue than kids spending a few days in Florida.


I totally agree with the bolded.

I would never send my kids to a school where the teachers aren't paid on time.

Most of the people I know going on vacation pay full tuition, but I live in an affluent community.
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Miri7









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:51 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Besides for the peer pressure it creates, some schools feel that there is a general relaxation of certain spiritual standards that occurs at vacations at particular places, like the beach in Florida, for example. They do not allow their students to go on such vacations.


This sounds bizarre to me, the idea that a geographical location - an entire state!! - creates relaxed spiritual standards such that a school would threaten to expel students who visited? I also wonder what families do if they want to visit grandparents who live in FL. Are they not allowed to visit grandparents? Talk about a perversion of Torah values. I can't imagine explaining to my older parents that I cannot visit them with my kids because of some school rule.

Schools should demonstrate some faith in the values of their students and parents.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:53 pm
Thanx everyone for your responses. Any idea where I could drive to, instead of flying, for a less expensive trip that my dd would enjoy?
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:54 pm
amother wrote:
wears Tory Burch flip flops.


So does my DD. She treated herself to a pair, for about $15, on clearance. Now, you can get flip flops from the dollar store...but that's not such a make-it-or-break-it purchase.
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:57 pm
Miri7 wrote:
This sounds bizarre to me, the idea that a geographical location - an entire state!! - creates relaxed spiritual standards such that a school would threaten to expel students who visited? I also wonder what families do if they want to visit grandparents who live in FL. Are they not allowed to visit grandparents? Talk about a perversion of Torah values. I can't imagine explaining to my older parents that I cannot visit them with my kids because of some school rule.

Schools should demonstrate some faith in the values of their students and parents.


I actually mentioned the beach area specifically, in my post about this. I believe there are times they may allow, for different areas. It's not necessarily the entire state.

In terms of schools demonstrating faith in the students and parents values, I remember lots of pictures I saw after mid-winter vacation, when I was a teen....of same relaxed values. Kids dressed on the beach the way they would never dress in the greater NY area. And more.
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saw50st8









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:58 pm
amother wrote:
Thanx everyone for your responses. Any idea where I could drive to, instead of flying, for a less expensive trip that my dd would enjoy?


Washington DC is a lot of fun and has a lot of museums.

I will say sometimes a vacation is in the attitude. One summer, I went to visit my sister in Lakewood with my two little kids. I called it "my Jersey shore vacation" and planned lots of fun things. It really felt like a vacation!
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Chayalle









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 3:01 pm
I'm not the OP but I actually like thw Washington DC idea....not so many hours from Lakewood. Thanks saw....I wonder if that's something I could pull off...worth looking into. If anyone has done that, please post. Would love to know about parking, itinerary, etc....
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saw50st8









  


Post  Thu, Jan 05 2017, 3:14 pm
Trip Advisor is really great for that
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