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Do you tell the person that gave you a gift?
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amother




Emerald


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:44 am
I gave a Chanukah present and the person I gave it to asked me if they can give it back to me so I can exchange it for something else since they already have it. Is this acceptable? Rude?
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mummiedearest









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:44 am
rude.
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Cookie Monster









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:46 am
Not acceptable.
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:47 am
I would think this is rude. Because what's if the person who gave you the gift is not able to return it, does not have the receipt, or it was as is and not refundable?
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Blessing1









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:49 am
That's not nice!
If she wants to exchange it for whatever reason, she should do so herself.
& not let you know that she has it already, that's childish.
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sky









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 9:52 am
rude. How do they know you can exchange it (and even if they did know its rude)
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:23 am
amother wrote:
I gave a Chanukah present and the person I gave it to asked me if they can give it back to me so I can exchange it for something else since they already have it. Is this acceptable? Rude?


I think it's acceptable. Better than them just giving it away. However, a better way they could have done it is to ask you where it was bought and would you mind if they exchange it as they had it already.
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amother




Emerald


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:35 am
Would you give them a gift ever again?
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flowerpower









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:36 am
That's odd. They shouldn't do that.
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allthingsblue









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:37 am
Rude. They should just give it to a friend/relative who might want it or donate it to a Gemach
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nicole81









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:42 am
amother wrote:
I think it's acceptable. Better than them just giving it away. However, a better way they could have done it is to ask you where it was bought and would you mind if they exchange it as they had it already.


I'd rather someone give a gift I gave them away than take the time out of my packed life to exchange it for them... unless, of course, the gift included a coupon for a personal assistant for the day.

Spending time with my husband, kids, or taking time to relax is more important to me than running errands for someone else and it's rather presumptuous for anyone to assume otherwise. They should deal with their own return or regift it or throw it in a pile in their basement for all I could care.
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NurseK









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:44 am
It depends if its a small gift in which case they should suck it up and deal with it... or a larger gift like a high chair, bicycle, etc in which case its a waste to have two... and the giver would probably rather know they already have one.
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Teomima









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:49 am
amother wrote:
I think it's acceptable. Better than them just giving it away. However, a better way they could have done it is to ask you where it was bought and would you mind if they exchange it as they had it already.

What if it was already a second hand gift, something you received but didn't want/need so you gifted it away? Obviously can't be returned, so you'd just end up being embarrassed.
Better they exchange it themselves or regift it.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 10:55 am
Rude.
Also, if they really want to have another gift badly, they should've asked you for a receipt so they can take care of it themselves. It's not nice to tell you to go back and choose something else.
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zaq









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:49 pm
Rude.
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Luvme









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 1:09 pm
Depends how close the person is.
My grandmother always says to return if we don't like. (not that I would)
I think it's rude. If u gave her a gift receipt or told her that she can exchange then it's different..
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 1:26 pm
nicole81 wrote:
I'd rather someone give a gift I gave them away than take the time out of my packed life to exchange it for them... unless, of course, the gift included a coupon for a personal assistant for the day.

Spending time with my husband, kids, or taking time to relax is more important to me than running errands for someone else and it's rather presumptuous for anyone to assume otherwise. They should deal with their own return or regift it or throw it in a pile in their basement for all I could care.


I agree that it is out of order to expect OP to take the gift back, that is a bit of chutzpah, I agree with you about time.

Rather than asking OP to take it back, they could have simply asked OP where she got it from so they can take it back with OP's permission. For example, if I give someone a book that they already have but I am unsure where they purchased it from, I can ask and they can say "Barnes & Noble" and I can say "I am so sorry, but I have that book already. Would you mind if I went to B&N and exchanged it?" and then they could say "sure, go ahead" (and perhaps even furnish a receipt) and wouldn't have to run any errands. It makes sense to give gifts with gift receipts for this very reason. I always make sure to do this.
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doctorima









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 2:45 pm
Definitely rude and beyond unacceptable. It's sad that we've sunk to a level at which there's even a question if this is reasonable behavior.
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HonesttoGod









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 2:51 pm
IF and that is a big IF I wanted to exchange a gift because it was really no use to me and I didn't have anyone to regift it to and I was close enough to the gift giver, I would ask for a gift receipt or politely say "thank you so much for the thoughtful gift, happens to be x got me one for x, would you mind telling me where you got it from so I can exchange it? I really appreciate you thinking of me"
and only if I was close to the gift giver.

I would NEVER ask the giver to exchange it that is so rude.

As a gift giver I usually try to put in a gift receipt or tell them where it is from.
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MiracleMama









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 3:08 pm
Rude.
Exchanging a gift - totally fine.
Telling the person who bought it you want to exchange it - depends on the relationship. But most people would rather the person have something they like/ want/ need than something they don't like/ want/ need. So okay when said with tact.
Giving someone who has gifted you the task of exchanging the gift for you - just rude. I can see there may be some circumstances where you can't exchange the item yourself (I.e. Item was purchased OOT where gift-giver lives). But in those circumstances best to just give away unwanted item and not insult.
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