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"Is it real?"
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amother




Pumpkin


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:11 pm
Occasionally I get asked if a peice of jewelry is real. I find it rude to ask but usually its a child who doesn't know better Or a close family member so I feel obliged to answer.

Often my jewelry is costume jewelry that matches my clothing. Sometimes I have gorgeous pieces I wear on shabbos that would be a fortune if real but they aren't.

How do I respond?
It embarrasses me to say they aren't real. But I don't see how else to respond.
I also feel uncomfortable giving the impression they are real when I can't afford the real version and it makes me look financially irresponsible to have such expensive jewelry.
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Seas









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:24 pm
I often avoid or ignore a question I don't wish to answer (sometimes by changing the subject). Many times this is enough, as the other person gets distracted, but if they do persist, I say something like, "If o didn't answer the first time/two times, why do you think I'll answer now?"
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amother




Azure


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:35 pm
Possible answers:
No, it's imaginary.
Why do you ask?
Yes, I sold a kidney to buy it. Good deal, eh?
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SixOfWands









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:44 pm
"Thank you. It is gorgeous." (Making the assumption that they're admiring it.) or "Its one of my favorite pieces."

"Why do you ask?"
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LittleDucky









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:48 pm
"Oh thank you, it was a gift. I love it... Now, about what we were talking about..."

Ie- deflect and redirect. They will get the hint or are too socially oblivious to not get it and will hopefully learn or at least take the cue.
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allthingsblue









  


Post  Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:50 pm
I live sixofwands' suggestion, "why do you ask?"
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 9:16 am
I HATE when people ask! I have real jewelry and I also have one bracelet that is fake but looks very very real. I don't lie because it feels weird to lie about it, but I get really annoyed when people ask Mad just admire my things from far. Why do you need to know how much it's worth?
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zaq









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:05 am
"what do you think?"
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:08 am
what's wrong with saying yes?
OF course it's real. It's not a real bracelet?
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HonesttoGod









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:10 am
Yes it is a real bracelet glad you noticed.

Someone once took a look a my swarovski bracelet and said wouldnt you be happier if that was real diamonds and I said no because then it wouldn't be swarovski. If I could afford real diamonds I would buy those too.
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:28 am
I hate when people ask when it is actually real also.
I have a very gorgeous diamond necklace that is real. It doesn't really fit in my lifestyle and image but I don't want to have to explain it.
I hate having to tell people its real - I'd rather they think its fake - and I feel stupid saying yes.
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:31 am
zaq wrote:
"what do you think?"

These responses work very well for acquaintances. The thing is when it's your sister or a good friend it feels weird white lying like that.
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zaq









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 11:06 am
amother wrote:
These responses work very well for acquaintances. The thing is when it's your sister or a good friend it feels weird white lying like that.


It's not a lie, white or otherwise. It's called "answering a question with a question," something Jews are purported to do routinely.

Andy: Why do Jews always answer a question with a question?
Sandy: Why not?
Randy: Do we?
Mandy: Why do you think?
Candy: Who knows?

Although FTR I don't see why you wouldn't tell your sister or close friend the truth either way. It's the rubbernecking sightseers who have no business asking whom you need to put off.
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groovy1224









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 11:12 am
I also HATE that question. I always say 'as real as you are' and then quickly move on so they dont have time to ask a follow up question
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vet techy









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 11:50 am
My aunt used to get this question a lot. She had huge diamonds some where real some not.
Whenever someone would ask her if it is real she would always answer "would I wear anything else?" and change the topic.
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Simple1









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 11:56 am
Wow . I have the opposite experience. When complimented on jewelry, I straight out say it's not real. And usually they tell me off that I don't have to tell anyone it's not real.

But if it's a child, I'd brush off the question. Kids don't always know the right things to say or not say. That doesn't mean you have to answer them.
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myym









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 12:12 pm
I was just about to say what simple1 said. Exactly like she does, whenever I get a compliment on something fake I always say it's fake. I supoose it's not polite for ppl to ask, but I dont thing you need to identify so much with your jewelry. The piece is obviously nice, even if it cost $15. Why to be embarrassed? I am proud to spend wisely and pay $15 for something that looks like $800
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MiracleMama









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 12:27 pm
Simple1 wrote:
Wow . I have the opposite experience. When complimented on jewelry, I straight out say it's not real. And usually they tell me off that I don't have to tell anyone it's not real.

But if it's a child, I'd brush off the question. Kids don't always know the right things to say or not say. That doesn't mean you have to answer them.


If it's a child, I'd use the opportunity as a teaching moment about what is and isn't considered polite.
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MiracleMama









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 12:30 pm
By the way I know people with real jewelry pretending it's fake because they don't want an ayin hora.
It's such an inappropriate question; I would absolutely change the subject and school anyone who persisted on manners.
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shanie5









  


Post  Wed, Jan 04 2017, 7:16 pm
"its as real as the emperors new clothes!"
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