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Forum -> Children's Health
When to give in and medicate an explosive child?
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:11 pm
Can you afford to take him for Craniosacral therapy? It's extremely calming. My son felt so much relief. He did not want to get onto meds.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:25 pm
I am a teacher in a special ed school. One of my students joined in middle school from a mainstream school. There he failed through each grade, was bullied, poor self esteem...He was unmedicated and all over the place. Although he seemed like a smart kid, his skills were so weak. I finally got his parents to try medication, and it worked! He was finally able to learn , his self esteem was much better and he felt so much better about himself. I always felt bad for him that he wasted so many years in school not learning anything and was treated so poorly. If he would've been medicated when he was younger, he wouldn't have to be in special ed.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:41 pm
wow ... I didn't expect to hear from so many people who are pro meds for kids. This is really helpful. I just always wonder if he would behave differently if I knew just how to interact with him when he is defiant and explosive. Believe me, we have been trying for years and have been speaking to therapists too. It actually sounds like a dream to give him a pill and he will become a calm, obedient child. I will follow up with our pediatrician on how to proceed although the ped has also asked us once or twice if we wanted to consider meds.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 11:06 pm
Medication can be amazing for some people but don't count on it being a dream pill that will produce the magical wunderkind.

Kids are human and there is no pill that will make them always behave. What we hope for is to level the playing field so they have the ability to behave, but they may still need to learn a lot in order to pull it off. I've seen a lot of kids who were making no or minimal progress before meds, and then with meds they were able to begin the work of improving. For example, there are kids who are hyperactive/impulsive and no matter how hard they try and what rewards they're offered they just CANNOT control themselves. CAN'T. With medication, they CAN but they still need to learn self control! The difference is that now they're able to learn self control. The wild kid may still have a wild streak but will be able to hold it in and wait for the playground.

There's also the reality check that medication management can take some trial and error. As someone else mentioned above, some medications act quickly enough that you can make adjustments right away. Sometimes they do just work out on the first try. But be prepared that it might take some tweaking. Don't think that as soon as you make the decision, your problem is as good as solved.

Not saying this to discourage, just to provide some reality check so you don't get discouraged if things don't happen instantly.

An explosive child is often suffering and wishing they weren't this way. It's not just about you interacting differently, it's about them not being able to cope with whichever way you're interacting. Giving him that boost to be able to learn better coping skills is the greatest gift.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 12:07 am
amother wrote:
wow ... I didn't expect to hear from so many people who are pro meds for kids. This is really helpful. I just always wonder if he would behave differently if I knew just how to interact with him when he is defiant and explosive. Believe me, we have been trying for years and have been speaking to therapists too. It actually sounds like a dream to give him a pill and he will become a calm, obedient child. I will follow up with our pediatrician on how to proceed although the ped has also asked us once or twice if we wanted to consider meds.


Why are you so surprised? It's really old fashioned to be against meds for adhd.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:10 am
amother wrote:
wow ... I didn't expect to hear from so many people who are pro meds for kids. This is really helpful. I just always wonder if he would behave differently if I knew just how to interact with him when he is defiant and explosive. Believe me, we have been trying for years and have been speaking to therapists too. It actually sounds like a dream to give him a pill and he will become a calm, obedient child. I will follow up with our pediatrician on how to proceed although the ped has also asked us once or twice if we wanted to consider meds.

I think Seeker's post about when she would go to meds is excellent.

OP in your posts you talk about talking to therapists, but not about having your son properly evaluated. You can't decide on a treatment plan if you do not know *what* you are treating. Defiance and impulsivity are symptoms of many different problems and they don't all respond to medication. In some cases meds will make the problem worse. You really need to figure out *why* he is defiant and explosive and impulsive before you try any treatment. Please have your son properly evaluated.
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byisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 3:28 am
The reason you need an evaluation by a pedatric developmental neurologist/ phsychatrist and not a just get a SW/therapist to recomend and ped. to perscribe is because there are many different possible reasons for the explosivity - even with ADHD and sometimes they need something in the Ritalin/Concerta family but sometimes they need something in the anti- anxiety family.
A eval will help you identify what the real issue is before you start the "trying to find the right meds" process.
Realize that for kid who don't NEED ritalin it has the opposite affect - so don't try to save money and just try with you ped.
The ped. should be able to give you a referance for an eval.
Realizr that the good dr. have long waiting lists for a first appointment so make the appointment, try whatever alternative you want to try in the interim, if they work cancel- if not get the eval.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 4:14 am
amother wrote:
Thank you for this post. I'm not the op but am also considering medication for impulsivity and you have me chizuk that it is ok to try it for the child.


Glad I could help, lots of hatzlacha!
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tovasara




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 9:54 am
We resisted for years thinking the he would mature, grow out of it, take to whatever therapist he was seeing.

Medicating him was the smartest thing we did because clearly he needed it. He is a different child now.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 10:36 am
amother wrote:
I have 2 sons on medication. One of the good parts of these medications is that they are like advil. It only stays in the body for a few hours and starts to work within minutes. What is great about it is that there are no long term affects and you see the results immediately. If the dose is too low or high- you can tell within the first hour. You don't need to try it for weeks to see if it is helpful. Basically, it's a win-win situation. You try it. If it works good, and if not, you need to find other options. Personally, we asked a Shaila a few years ago and were told to try it. We have had amazing results and are so happy we did.


Why is this something that needs a shaila? Is your Rav a psychiatrist?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:01 pm
Medication can truly be a game changer, and it is not a cop out. You need to realize that your child is suffering too! His improvement won't only help you. It will help him. Parents that don't give their children meds when it is needed are only thinking of themselves.
As others have said, you need to get a proper eval. For example my daughter was explosive and defiant and plain out awful. For years we ran from therapists, to psychiatrists, to social groups to parent training. We did it all. Nothing worked.
Finally a new psychiatrist we saw diagnosed her with a mood disorder and put her on medication. The change was really amazing!!!!
The medication does not need to be long term. As they gain the skills they may not need the meds anymore.

Best of luck
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:27 pm
amother wrote:


Please note ...we are really against meds and have been pushing it off for years. If it can really help .... then I think we are ready to give in if it will make him a happier child.



I didnt read through this whole thread so forgive me if im repeating someone else.

This is just something I havent understood.
If you or your child (general, not you specificaly )would c"v need tylenol, novicane at the dentist or antibiotic or medication for thiroid, or some heart condition or mental illness.... or any other medical need requiering meds... could you imagine a woman in labor tgat was denied an epidural if she wanted one? Or someone nebach suffering with cancer? would you not give because your against meds...? (yes some examples are extreme, and cant be compared, but all can be helped ) Whether short or long term if the child/person is suffering why not give them some releaf . Bh in todays generation we have so much more at hand. I hear the concept of over medicating ... you need to take in the specific situation as a whole . Everyone involed is suffering. Why? Because your against meds? Theres realy no reason to have to suffer if it can be helped.

Hatzlacha with your decision.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 2:53 pm
My guess about the OP's negative stance on meds is because it is in fact being suggested by non-qualified non-medical non-professionals, like teachers, principals or social workers without any formal evaluation. So she *should* be skeptical in that case. But she should also (say it with me now) get a proper evaluation because clearly there is some problem that needs to be identified.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 5:05 pm
amother wrote:
I didnt read through this whole thread so forgive me if im repeating someone else.

This is just something I havent understood.
If you or your child (general, not you specificaly )would c"v need tylenol, novicane at the dentist or antibiotic or medication for thiroid, or some heart condition or mental illness.... or any other medical need requiering meds... could you imagine a woman in labor tgat was denied an epidural if she wanted one? Or someone nebach suffering with cancer? would you not give because your against meds...? (yes some examples are extreme, and cant be compared, but all can be helped ) Whether short or long term if the child/person is suffering why not give them some releaf . Bh in todays generation we have so much more at hand. I hear the concept of over medicating ... you need to take in the specific situation as a whole . Everyone involed is suffering. Why? Because your against meds? Theres realy no reason to have to suffer if it can be helped.

Hatzlacha with your decision.

That sounds really nice but things are never so simple, are they?
Not the tylenol, not the novocaine, not the epidural, and not the ritalin or zoloft. Not to mention that comparisons between different conditions and treatments are really not relevant because of the zillions of variables on both sides.
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 7:05 pm
After sending my son for OT, Speech therapy, vision therapy, sports, horseback riding, hiring tutors and reading specialists and even a year of special ed, we finally had him evaluated by a Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician who prescribed Ritalin.
This is his second year on it and he is at the top of his mainstream class.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 10:00 pm
Op, please have your child assessed by a pediatric neuropsychologist. You will know all the aspects of your child.

And giving him meds can make a huge difference!

Lots of experienced people here.

Especially impulsivity and hyperactivity they don't go away by itself, it does get more intense as they grow.
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BrachaBatya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 10:22 pm
Medication can be a blessing and a gift to children in need. Just as we wouldn't hesitate to medicate our children for, G forbid, diabetes or the like, so too should we not hesitate to medicate for ADHD and the like. I believe the medication can help with not only behavior but self confidence and self esteem, allowing the child to succeed overall in new ways. It can be life changing, for the better. No guilt. It is HELPING the child. It can be the right thing to do in many instances.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Jan 06 2017, 6:49 am
amother wrote:
wow ... I didn't expect to hear from so many people who are pro meds for kids. This is really helpful. I just always wonder if he would behave differently if I knew just how to interact with him when he is defiant and explosive. Believe me, we have been trying for years and have been speaking to therapists too. It actually sounds like a dream to give him a pill and he will become a calm, obedient child. I will follow up with our pediatrician on how to proceed although the ped has also asked us once or twice if we wanted to consider meds.


I just want to say that while Ritalin is amazing (I posted earlier about how it changed my life), it won't make your son a different child. He'll be the same child, just with the intensity turned down by a hundred notches - which will be amazing and you'll all be happier. But, any underlying issues will still be there. The most important thing is that he should be seeing a therapist to work through his anger issues and other issues while on the medication.

In terms of whether he would behave differently if you interacted with him differently - his behvaior is NOT your fault. You didn't do anything to cause it and you can't fix it by just parenting better.

That being said, I do suggest doing a parenting class, support group or other professional guidance for parents specifically of children with these types of issues, so yo ucan learn how to more effectively deal with a child like this, because it's really hard! Even with the medication, I still recommend doing this. It will improve your skills as a parent and improve your relationship with your son. Ritalin doesn't mean there will never be outbursts or meltdowns, and you should get some professional guidance on how to deal with it, because it's not something you can necessarily do well on your own. Again, these kinds of parenting skills won't fix your child's problems or change him, but they will help both him, you, and your relationship.

I encourage you to help him through medication, get him other help as well to work through his issues and to learn coping skills for impulsivity, anger, anxiety, etc, and get yourself some parental guidance too. You'll all be happy you did it.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Fri, Jan 06 2017, 7:00 am
Another mother here extraordinarily grateful for ADHD meds. We tried speech therapy, hydrotherapy, art therapy, and behavioral modification. None of it made enough of a dent. Since we began on Ritalin, my daughter's self-esteem has been restored and then some. She is a happy, thriving student, academically and socially. And most importantly - and I truly believe this is most important - my relationship with her has improved dramatically.

Until now I felt like I didn't have the opportunity to truly love her - she was so so hard to love - because of her non-stop explosive behaviors. Now that her impulsivity and intensity are under control, I feel like I am finally seeing the real her.
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amother
White


 

Post Fri, Jan 06 2017, 9:01 am
amother wrote:
After sending my son for OT, Speech therapy, vision therapy, sports, horseback riding, hiring tutors and reading specialists and even a year of special ed, we finally had him evaluated by a Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician who prescribed Ritalin.
This is his second year on it and he is at the top of his mainstream class.


Amother above reminded me - we also tried hydrotherapy. I forgot to add it to the list.
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