When to stop rectal temps?

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 4:54 pm

leopardspots wrote:

This^^^
Most children won't speak up because they think their parents are always right. They will keep their feelings and embarrassment bottled up.
I had a male pediatrician as a child and I hated it. I'm still disturbed by it and I'm in my 30's. But I didn't know I could say anything, I didn't think I had a choice, as a child. My parents were also too clueless to notice anything or didn't care. I've chosen a female doctor for my DD so she doesn't have to go through what I did. My point is that children often don't say anything and the events only affect them later on in life when they start sorting through all the emotional garbage with a more mature lens.

Mommy, we are urging you to see this in a different light for your child. You are defensive because you feel attacked fine, but please take into consideration what we are saying.

What is it exactly that you want me to take into consideration?

I have clearly stated that I rarely take a temperature and that I would never do anything to my kids that they would feel uncomfortable with.

Am I still surprised that people think taking a two year olds temperature is violating their privacy? Yes.

amother

White

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 5:00 pm

leopardspots wrote:

That's not what bodily autonomy means.

It means that children's bodies are their own and not the property of their parents or anyone else. It means they should not be taught forced affection (Grandma/Mommy/Friend needs a hug!) or taught that they can't say no to touch. It teaches them that that have bodily autonomy which should be respected. Adults often take advantage of children's
defenselessness and smaller stature. Like "oh aren't you cute that means I can touch you whenever I feel like it!" I'm not just talking about abuse cvs, I'm talking about mixing emotional manipulation with forced affection (grandpa is sad you won't give him a hug! Grandpa can get over it and not teach grandkids that they are responsible for his feelings because they aren't) and just plain boundary crossing.

Yes, I understand what bodily autonomy means and that a person's body belongs to them and they have the right to say who can touch them, how and when, but when a person lacks the ability to physically care for themselves they don't have total freedom over their bodies. Do you let your toddler or baby decide not to have a diaper change because they don't want it? No bath because they have the right not to be touched if they don't want it?

Your examples don't really include personal care. As a parent, it is often your job to decide how to care for them, even when it includes touching them. Teach them appropriate boundaries as they get older, give them choices as they become more independent, but saying a baby has the right to decide who touches them and when seems a little odd.

leopardspots

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 5:03 pm

amother wrote:

That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying that the parents should be aware of what it and what isn't appropriate. Would you want it done to you? Then it's probably not appropriate. It's also respecting their status as human beings despite the fact that they cannot care for themselves. Anyone who is incapable of caring for their own bodies deserves respect and reflection on the part of caregivers.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 7:16 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

You are missing the point . Your 10 year old may be to embarrased to tell you how u comfortable this is for him. You dont know if your child is uncomfortable. Please stop doing this to your son. It is extremely inappropriate and border line abuse.

ohmygosh

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 8:05 pm

amother wrote:

You really need help if you think this is borderline abuse.

Mommy3b2c clearly stated she would do nothing that would make her child uncomfortable and that he would normally do it himself if needed.

That being said, I don't understand why you wouldn't buy an oral thermometer for them at this point. One normally would use a rectal thermometer up until the age the child is old enough to use an oral thermometer.

amother

White

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 8:16 pm

leopardspots wrote:

I remember that my parents used a rectal thermometer when I was little (I have very clear memories going back as far as age three). No trauma and I didn't mind. When I was old enough for an oral thermometer that's what I used.

I've also had to use Tylenol suppositories even as an adult. When you need it, you need it. It's medical, and it's not inappropriate.

I wouldn't want anyone wiping my tush, does that mean I shouldn't do it to my baby?

Coffee Addict

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 8:46 pm

Guys, I'm totally shocked and surprised by the responses. I'm exactly with mommy 3b2c. What the hell is this s-xual abuse? Are you kidding me? I'm taking care of my child's need. I do what I suppose to do as a mom.
Of course I need to know the temperature. When I go to the doctor he wants to know the exact temperature. The diagnosis that he gives depends a lot how much the temperature was. It also makes a difference which medication he'll prescribe, if medicine is needed. Rectal is the most accurate.
When they're older they will check themselves alone. At a certain age they can do through the mouth. But little kids?? Infants?
You're all kidding by throwing in s-xuality with checking fever. And invading a baby's privacy? Goodness gracious, my lord, what else does a person's s-xual preference depend on??
Nothing is good to be over the top. That's not healthy.
Now go bash me away. Enjoy.

ohmygosh

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:04 pm

Coffee Addict wrote:

This. 100%.
Anyone who thinks a rectal temp is remotely s-xual or an invasion of privacy on a baby (??) need to have their heads examined.
Rectal is the most accurate temp, and yes, on a small child, accurate temps are important. 104 F temp is very different than 100.4 F.
Goodness.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:19 pm

Coffee Addict wrote:

Your just completely off topic. The reason why some had an issue with that mom is because she said she would would take her 10 yr old son temperature rectally. You seem outraged that people don't want to use a rectal thermometer on small children and infants. That is not what was causing the hoopla here at all. If you want to defend her position, then I'd love to hear what you have to say, but what you mentioned in your post has nothing to do with the debate going on here which is rectal thermometer on a 10 yr old.

Coffee Addict

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:21 pm

ohmygosh wrote:

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:21 pm

amother wrote:

I see your really concerned for my son so you'll be glad to know that I had a conversation with both my sons tonight, and guess what they both said?

They would prefer rectal to oral!

I asked them why and they both said because the oral thermometer makes them gag and they hate the feeling.

I asked them, "would it feel embarrassing to you?" (Remember, the last time I took my 10 year olds temperature was a few years ago, so it was a theoretical question)

He said "maybe a little." So I asked him why wouldnt you do it by yourself, and he said I don't know how.

Then he said, "this is a really weird conversation, why are we having it?"

And I said "because I want to buy a new thermometer and I wanted your opinion on which type to buy."

And be said, "oh"

May my precious darlings always be healthy and never need their temperatures taken.

To all a good night.

cozyblanket

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:25 pm

Laiya wrote:

We use the forehead thermometer. It's extremely accurate and takes 3 seconds. If it's good enough for the pediatrician....

Re seizures, this says that once the child has a high fever, the risk of seizures has already passed:
http://www.webmd.com/children/.....rview

My son vomited his tylenol when he had a pretty high temp (don't recall the exact number) and then had a seizure about 30 min later. the risk is there. The seizure happened at the drs office and they sent him by ambulance to the hospital. BH he was fine, but the risk is there.

Coffee Addict

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:29 pm

amother wrote:

1. Actually some posters screamed invasion of privacy and abuse on infants and 2 year olds. OMG. that's sick.

2. I'm also talking of older children. Yes, I still check my 8.5 yr old rectal. They have no problem with it whatsoever. I have no problem checking them orally. Whatever It takes to accomplish the mission of checking Very Happy

If they would have a problem with it, I would NEVER EVER do it to them. I'm only here for their good. Not the other way around, god forbid.

But actually, I think this age orally is just fine. I'll try next time orall for this age. Whatever the child will prefer Wink

amother

Lemon

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:30 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Im not concerned at all for your son as you seem like an awesome mom.....I truly think you were surprised by the shocked responses you received when you casually mentioned that you would do rectal temp on a 10 year old. Look, it's weird and highly unusual. For whatever reason you didn't realize that. I think if you did, you wouldn't have openly acknowledged what you said. I'm sure you can google it and see for yourself. Anyway it doesn't make you a bad mom in any way.

gamanit

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:32 pm

NurseK wrote:

I do think its unnecessary to take rectals on children over one year.... but people, chill!!
Mommy said she hasn't done it in years and people are calling her abusive and predicting her sons homosexuality!!

Anyone have success with the forehead thermometers that you scan from a distance/don't actually touch the forehead? I just ordered one accidentally

Accidentally ordered a forehead thermometer? I hope you don't order anything more expensive by mistake Wink

skee

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:33 pm

Totally agree with ohmygosh and coffee addict.

I took rectal temp until my kids were old enough to properly hold an oral thermometer in their mouths. I find the forehead thermometers to be very unreliable and inconsistent. Rectal is definitely the most accurate. You do what you need to do to take care of your child. Sometimes medical care involves contact to private areas that would in other circumstances be considered invasive.

Of course I (and most mothers) can basically tell from feeling the forehead if the kid has a fever, but there are times when a more accurate temp is needed. Here are some examples:
1) Any fever in infants under 3 months is potentially dangerous and it's important to know for sure the temp.
2) One of my kids hates taking Tylenol/Motrin etc. If her fever is say 102 I would let it go. But if it's say 104 I would insist she takes it so the fever doesn't get dangerously high.
3) Even if my sick kid is feeling better, I wouldn't send her to school/playgroup/babysitter with other kids etc if she still has any fever so I want to know the accurate temp and whether the fever is completely down.

Last edited by skee on Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

cozyblanket

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:36 pm

skee wrote:

Totally agree with ohmygosh and coffee addict.

I took rectal temp until my kids were old enough to properly hold an oral thermometer in their mouths. I find the forehead thermometers to be very unreliable and inconsistent. Rectal is definitely the most accurate. You do what you need to do to take care of your child. Sometimes medical care involves contact to private areas that would in other circumstances be considered invasive.

Of course I (and most mothers) can basically tell from feeling the forehead if the kid has a fever, but there are times when a more accurate temp is needed. Here are some examples:
1) Fever in infants under 3 months is potentially dangerous and it's important to know for sure the temp.
2) One of my kids hates taking Tylenol/Motrin etc. If her fever is say 102 I would let it go. But if it's say 104 I would insist she takes it so the fever doesn't get dangerously high.
3) Even if my sick kid is feeling better, I wouldn't send her to school/playgroup/babysitter with other kids etc if she still has any fever so I want to know the accurate temp and whether the fever is completely down.

Exactly! Schools are so particular with the rules... you have to know if they have even a little fever of 100.

pause

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 9:45 pm

The thing is that kids don't always know now they don't want it until they're older and realize that it was not necessary, that there were equally valid options out there. Given the choice, they may not have wanted to submit themselves to this, even to do it on their own. They don't realize they have a choice - even if you ask them. I know it sounds weird, but that's how it is.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Jan 12 2017, 10:56 pm

Coffee Addict wrote:

And of course I use suppositories when needed. If a child vomits Motrin I MUST put it in. Fever has to go down.

What's the big deal? Sometimes in life you gotta do what you HAVE to. No biggie in my house.

The bolded is controversial.

Fever is the body's immune response and, as regarding children (not babies), there is research to support the position that fever itself is not inherently dangerous if it's not extremely high.

The more important question to ask is, what does the fever mean? What is going on that is eliciting this immune response?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01......html

- wrote:

Dr. Janet Serwint, another author of the study and a professor of pediatrics at Johns Hopkins, agreed. “I personally think there should be much more education about this at well visits,” she told me, adding that parents need to understand “the helpfulness of fever — how fever actually is a well-orchestrated healthy response of our body.”