Help me plan a motivational chart

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Babypink

Sat, Jan 14 2017, 3:33 pm

I recently got a new toy for my kids - something big/relatively expensive - but want to us it as a prize for if they finish a chart. I want the chart to focus on something Middos-wise, not cleaning their stuff, getting ready for bed nicely etc. My kids are 7,5, and 3. My oldest is a great kid and generally beautiful middos but can be moody and tends to take it out on my 5 year old by excluding him from things or making not nice comments. I've noticed that my 5-year old, who worships him, started being nervous around him.

I want the chart to motivate my 7 year old to be nicer without mentioning his younger brother specifically.

What midda can I tell them we are working on? How can I use it in a chart form? I'm going to reinforce it with stories, activities, and projects throughout the time we are doing it.

Thanks for your help!

amother

Aqua

Sat, Jan 14 2017, 8:17 pm

Speak, only with nice words and tone

When I was a kindergarten teacher we had 5 rules that IMO covered everything.
1. Listen the first time.
2. Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself.
3. Speak only with nice words and tone.
4. Take care of all supplies.
5. One person speaks at a time.

We reviewed them daily.

imasinger

Sat, Jan 14 2017, 8:25 pm

An alternative phrasing might be, "saying at least 2 kind things to everyone in the family today."

amother

Aqua

Sat, Jan 14 2017, 9:17 pm

imasinger wrote:

An alternative phrasing might be, "saying at least 2 kind things to everyone in the family today."

I like this

anonymrs

Sat, Jan 14 2017, 9:18 pm

You sound like a very proactive mother!

One method that I found effective is having them tell you a nice thing that someone did to them. If Child A shared his toy with Child B, then Child B will tell you that Child A shared the toy and you reward both children.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:49 am

imasinger wrote:

An alternative phrasing might be, "saying at least 2 kind things to everyone in the family today."

This doesn't work for me. On occasions when my kids have been particularly argumentative, at dinner, I'll ask them each to say something nice about someone else and they'll just say "you're sweet", "you're nice", etc - just enough to fulfill the obligation ve-zehu.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 7:14 pm

OP here. Thanks for the ideas. I made a chart and told the kids they have to say at least 2 nice things about each person a day. So far, they've really worked at it. I'll see how it goes!

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