How do you deal with the constant messiness as a parent?

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 8:59 am

I think I'm a little ocd when it comes to cleaning and it's affecting the way I am as a mother. I like my house clean and organized. My 2 year old likes things messy. When I clean up the toy room, he really seems upset about this and does not play as nicely! He wants every single toy, with all its little pieces, poured out into the floor. He enjoys taking things apart that are supposed to stay together and it drives me nuts. I let the room stay like this the entire week, even for shabbos, and was happy to see how nicely he played. By motzei shabbos I had enough of the mess and wanted to start off the week with a clean and organized house so I cleaned up everything up last night. I put away some of the toys with small pieces thinking there was still enough for him to play with. Today, when my toddler went into the room, he was extra cranky and fussy and I'm guessing it's because I cleaned up! Am I supposed to just leave it like that all the time? How do you deal with the mess as a parent??

Jeanette

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 9:26 am

no you definitely do not have to keep every single toy out for him to be happy! I actually think kids are less happy when they have too many toys, it's sensory overload for them too.

Since he's a toddler it's easier to keep toys out of his reach and view. Take out 1-2 toys at a time and alternate throughout the day. Keep the rest of the toys in a closed closet or on shelves above his eye level. Make it a rule that one toy has to be cleared and put away before the next one can be taken out. I'm not so on top of this rule myself but in families that stick to it kids learn pretty quickly.

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 9:29 am

I agree with Jeanette. And also suggest that you use opaque colored containers, not clear ones. They work much better for us as the toys aren't so out there, begging to be played with when the kids are already busy with a different set of toys. One box/type of toy at a time is much better for everyone.

L25

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 9:36 am

I agree with Jeanette- I find that kids do better when there aren't too many toys out but it can be a I need to see it thing so keep a few toys out, can put them on shelves- think montessouri style and put everything else away. No it's not just you I don't think most mothers would be happy with what you describing long term Wink

zigi

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 10:54 am

kids enjoy the dumping out etc. can you have a larger bucket under a smaller one so he can enjoy the dumping with out all the mess. also keep on mentioning we play and then we clean up

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 12:38 pm

Thanks for not saying I'm crazy! I really thought everyone would say I'm the one who needs to change, which in a way I think I do but I appreciate the advice nonetheless! I always leave some toys out on reachable bins and the rest on high shelf that he cannot reach in the closet and try to alternate. I am definitely working on teaching him to clean up after himself but he is a preemie and his play skills are slightly delayed (but have tremendously improved recently ca"h) and so, when I see that he actually plays better and attends longer to playing independently when the room is a mess, I am conflicted as to whether or not I should bother with insisting he clean up. I am really thinking that the "messiness" is what he needs right now and so I am going to try be a little more lenient on the mess and dumping in the actual toy room, however, in his bedroom and the living room etc, I am going to be more "strict" about leaving up since these rooms are not meant solely for his playing. Hope this works!

ectomorph

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 4:20 pm

My aged 2 son also plays like this... Maybe a preemie thing he's also a preemie! All caught up now!
He has a friend who plays with toys and puts them back. It's a personality thing.

My friend calls him " tornado simchas"

*No real names used in this post