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Child playing with food = inadequate guardianship?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 1:43 pm
A friend is being accused of inadequate guardianship because her 3 year old got into maple syrup and mustard. Not only did the child mess up herself, but she messed up the house.

My children, who are older, got into similar messes when they were young. It is being alleged this isn't common and the mother is negligent.

I can't ask in real life. Did you have or have you heard similar?

Please share. TY
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 1:47 pm
Huh??? I am the most overprotective helicopter mom you could find and my kids have done things like that too. I am seriously on top of my children. You would not believe what they have gotten into in the 1.5 minutes that I take for myself to go to the bathroom. 100% normal. Who is making the accusation?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:02 pm
MiracleMama wrote:
Huh??? I am the most overprotective helicopter mom you could find and my kids have done things like that too. I am seriously on top of my children. You would not believe what they have gotten into in the 1.5 minutes that I take for myself to go to the bathroom. 100% normal. Who is making the accusation?


Thank you for replying. Have you heard this from others as well?

The allegations are maltreatment and negligence. This is the supposed proof.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:03 pm
It seems like an outrageous accusation. But what was the parent doing when this happened? How long was the child unsupervised? It's possible that the parent turned their back for a second and something happened, or the parent was actually negligent and B"H this is all that happened.

It sounds like we're missing something, because this does not sound like a normal situation.
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ROFL




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:04 pm
Something sounds wrong here. My kids were always making messes. Glad it was never called in
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:06 pm
I don't think that you would be pursued by childrens services for a mere mess (no matter how much damage that occurred). They are short staffed and overburdened across the country. I would guess that there may be more to this story.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:09 pm
Ok, so they investigated. What was the finding?

Iow, it could be that CPS has to investigate a credible complaint. Why someone would call in a complaint for something like this, is another story.

But if that was the extent of it, it sounds like the matter should go away ?
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:11 pm
I never heard of such a weird thing in my life!!!!! Something really doesn't make sense here. My kids got into way bigger messes than that. They were accused of being regular healthy kids.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:19 pm
The mother is a single mom, and she was napping during the time.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:21 pm
Squishy wrote:
The mother is a single mom, and she was napping during the time.


And how could someone find this out?
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:21 pm
Is her husband also included in these allegations? Were they both there when this incident happened?

Never mind, saw previous post.

She was napping and left a three year old prone to messes unsupervised? That's a little different than turning your back for a second and having them make a mess.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:23 pm
The only other item in the whole report is that the balcony over looking the stairs is 42 inches high which is halacha. The report said the child could drag a chair over and jump to the first floor.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:25 pm
Squishy wrote:
The only other item in the whole report is that the balcony over looking the stairs is 42 inches high which is halacha. The report said the child could drag a chair over and jump to the first floor.


Well... this is quite a different story than your first post...
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:28 pm
amother wrote:
Well... this is quite a different story than your first post...


Every bi-leval had this. NYS code is only 36 inches. Safety gates are only 36 inches.

The problem is the food mess.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:29 pm
Squishy wrote:
The only other item in the whole report is that the balcony over looking the stairs is 42 inches high which is halacha. The report said the child could drag a chair over and jump to the first floor.


Where are you reading this report?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:31 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Where are you reading this report?


I am interested in the food part. Is this so common that everyone has such a story. I am trying to help someone out who is petrified about losing custody.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:36 pm
This info makes the report quite different. If the seriously understaffed agency thinks the report suggests the mother may have been negligent, they will come out and talk to her. If they find no reason for concern, that's the end.
What country/state are you in?
And if you're asking me whether I think it's negligent and dangerous for a caretaker to sleep so soundly that an otherwise unsupervised child could get into danger (pushing the chair, climbing on unsecured furniture, reach sharp or toxic substances, etc ) then yes, I do think it's negligent and dandgerous and I'm glad someone cared enough to make sure the mother is made aware of the problem. The mustard and maple syrup aren't the problem. This may have been a one-time thing for an exhausted mother, but that wouldn't bring a child with a crushed skull back to life. It's a sad situation all the way around.
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peanut butter c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:38 pm
Squishy wrote:
Every bi-leval had this. NYS code is only 36 inches. Safety gates are only 36 inches.

The problem is the food mess.

I know people who were reported for far worse things than food messes and have not lost custody of their children. So why is your friend so concerned if it's only about a food mess that only happened once? Who reported her? Is someone like her ex husband trying to gain custody of the child and is reporting her as a strategy to gain custody of the child in question? Or is there something else going on that she's not telling you that could be the real reason why she was reported?
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:40 pm
So did her xhusband turn her in?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 15 2017, 2:42 pm
amother wrote:
Is her husband also included in these allegations? Were they both there when this incident happened?

Never mind, saw previous post.


She was napping and left a three year old prone to messes unsupervised? That's a little different than turning your back for a second and having them make a mess.


She has an infant and is sleep deprived and exhausted. She is going round the clock on her own. Her child is no more prone to messes than any other 3 year old. She screams in a play pen. Messes can be cleaned.

I just looked on the What to Expect site. It seems that it is ok for a mom to nap.

What do the ladies here think? Can moms nap?
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